Page 31 of The Road Home
"No, it's okay. I'll come back tomorrow again." He pushed the chair back. "Thanks for letting me hang out with him all day."
"It's good he has company." Jared slid the side rail up on the bed.
"I'll be back tomorrow, Harry," Orson called as he picked up his backpack.
As they walked down the hallway, Jared thought about what Orson had said about going away in his own mind when attacked. He wondered how many times a person had to go through it to get to the point of being able to do that. He wanted to think that the one time had been the only one, but it was becoming clear by things he said that it had happened multiple times.
He'd been on the streets for three years and had so much happen to him. Things that would probably scar him mentally and physically for the rest of his life. All because his parents had been fucked up and couldn't accept their own child.
He thought of his own parents, sure that he would have faced the same. It also reminded him of the conversation that they were still set to have once they got home.
"Do you want burgers or something again or we can heat up TV dinners or something at home?" Jared asked. "I'm good with either."
"I'd rather just get home if you're still okay with me staying again tonight?"
Not having him stay hadn't even crossed his mind. "Of course, I want you to stay. I don't mind at all. I have to work at three again tomorrow, but if you want to go in earlier, I'm happy to take you. I'll call Harry's doctor in the morning to check in and let him know about your idea of a psychologist." He pushed the button on the elevator for them. "In fact, if you need to run downtown tomorrow to let the others know what is going on, I'm happy to take you before work."
Orson smiled. "Thank you. I'd like that."
"It's not a problem." Jared wondered as they watched the numbers on the elevator countdown if he might be able to avoid the whole conversation about him being gay. He'd spent the night working himself up to have it, but now, Orson seemed like he'd forgotten all about it. That was more than okay with Jared. He wished he could just forget the whole thing.
They walked in silence to the car. Once he'd pulled out onto the road, Jared glanced over at Orson. "I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to come see you tonight."
"It's okay. I heard one of the nurses saying it was always nuts on a full moon. Is that true?"
Jared laughed but nodded. "Sadly, yes. It can get crazy. It's when we see the oddest injuries and seem to get the crazier patients. I don't know what it is about the moon, but it messes with people. Even the cops say they dread it and get more calls during the full moon."
"That's weird." Orson leaned his head back and closed his eyes. "So, are we still going to talk tonight or are you too tired?"
Jared's grip on the steering wheel tightened. "I was hoping you'd forgotten."
"Do you want me to?" Orson rolled his head to look at him.
"Yeah, but no." Jared laughed nervously. "I've been thinking about it all night. I don't know why you saying what you did hit me so hard. I guess because I've never really talked about it with anyone before. I've seriously hidden that part of my life from everyone but Daryl and that was forever ago."
Orson sat up straighter. "You don't have sex at all?"
"No, I do, but not often. There have been times I've gone to a club and met someone. We never go home together. We usually just…" He shook his head. "Anyway, I never know them, they never know me. We don't ask names. It's just to get that release."
Orson nodded. "What happened with Daryl?"
Jared sucked his bottom lip into his mouth, trying to think how to explain. It was probably easier to do it from the beginning. "Can we get home first? This will take a while to explain. It would be easier there."
"Sure, I don't want to push you to talk about it if you don't want to. It's not my business, but I'm here if you need someone." Orson reached over and laid his hand on Jared's thigh. "I know it's not easy."
Jared fought back emotion, trying to keep it together until he got home. Talking about everything was new to him, and it was going to leave him raw and vulnerable for the first time in his life. "No, it's time I tell someone. I've already started this, I want to finish. I've kept it inside for years. It's time I opened up to someone."
"Why me?" Orson asked, his hand still on Jared's leg.
"You'll understand when I tell you everything." Jared sighed. "We have a lot in common. Since we met, I've had a lot to think about." Jared pulled into his driveway. "Give me a few, okay. Let's get dinner and then we can talk if you're up for it."
"Okay." Orson pulled his hand back before reaching for his backpack and stepping out of the car. "Thank you again for everything. It means a lot that you've helped me so much with Harry. I'm not sure what I would do if I had to walk back and forth every day."
"I'm glad I can do it. I really haven't done that much."
"You have. Even just explaining what is going on helps me. The nurses and other doctors don't say much, and when they do talk, I only understand half of it."
Jared opened the front door. "Yeah, medical terminology can be confusing. And it's hard since he's unconscious. I promise I'll be as open and honest with you as I can." He tossed his keys on the table by the door before turning and locking it behind them. "I want to change clothes before we eat. Come to my room and I'll grab you a pair of sweats and a t-shirt to change into if you want to get comfortable."
