Page 34 of The Road Home
Orson stood, coming to stand beside Jared. "They don't matter anymore. Only you matter. We can't live our lives worrying about who agrees with us or not. We have to live our lives. We have to find what makes us happy. We're cheating ourselves if we don't." He gripped Jared's shoulder. "You deserve to be happy, even if you don't think so."
Jared blew out a long breath. "You're right, and so do you." He met Orson's gaze. "I'll help you if you'll help me."
"How? What can I do for you?"
Jared shrugged. "Just keep reminding me it's okay. Keep inspiring me to be more like you. To be brave and not hide. In return, I'll help you. If you want, you can move in here. I'll help you get on your feet. You can find a job, get your life together."
Orson stepped back. "You can't be serious."
"Why not?"
"You don't know me."
"Yet you're the first person I've trusted enough to come out to, to tell my deepest secret to."
"But to open your house up to me…" Orson shook his head.
"You're already staying here. We get along. Why not make it permanent until you get your own place? It's the least I can do. Honestly, if you go back out there, I'll worry about you. I don't want you to be hurt more. I can't deal with worrying that you'll be the next rape victim brought in. I want to know you're safe." Jared wasn't sure how he'd gone from talking about coming out to inviting Orson to live with him, but it felt right. It made sense. He had the room, and even if he didn't know Orson well, he did trust him. "You don't have to decide tonight, but think about it. In return, you can remind me that it's okay to be myself. Help me learn not to be so scared of who I am."
Orson nodded. "I'll think about it."
"Good." Jared smiled. "Thank you for listening."
"Of course. Anytime. You're right, we are alike. We both made a choice that led us on different paths, but neither of us made the right or wrong one. We made the one we needed to at the time. Maybe somehow we can help each other get where we need to be."
"I'd like that."
"Me too."
Jared stared at Orson for a minute, wondering if it was fate that brought him into his life. He needed this friendship, this connection. It was seeing Orson's life that had him reanalyzing his own, seeing a clear picture of how his life could have ended up. "Can I have a hug?"
Orson smiled. "Of course." He stepped closer.
Jared pulled him into his arms, enjoying the feel of someone holding him. It was something he hadn't had in a long time. He kept it short, and as he pulled back, he smiled. "I'm going to head to bed. Feel free to stay up and watch TV or do whatever you want."
"No, I'm going too. I'm tired." Orson threw his food away and set the silverware in the sink before rinsing out his glass. As he turned from the sink, he looked right at Jared. "You're okay?"
"Yeah, actually I am. I dreaded this conversation all night, but it feels good now. I needed to tell someone. I've held that inside for a long time. I'm not ready to walk down the sidewalk holding hands with someone, but like you said, it's a step forward."
"It is, and each step will be easier. Don't give up on yourself or your happiness."
"You neither." Jared grinned.
"Deal."
As Jared turned the lights off and followed Orson down the hallway, he hoped that this was the first step of many. He still feared others' reaction, but he was tired of hiding, and Orson was right. He owed it to himself to be happy, no matter what anyone else thought.
