Page 57 of The Road Home
"I won't sleep for a while. It's hard to after a dream. I keep thinking every time I close my eyes I'll have another." Orson moved past Jared. He picked up the pills, then twisted the cap on the water bottle open before popping them into his mouth and swallowing them with a large drink of water.
"Do you want me to stay for a bit?" Jared offered.
Orson turned to look at him, shocked by the offer. He glanced at the bed, then back to Jared. "You wouldn't mind?"
"Not at all. If it helps keep the demons away, I'm happy to sit with you." Jared smiled. "Let me go turn off the other lights and I'll be right back."
"Thanks." Orson sat down on the edge of the bed, trying to justify having Jared stay. It was one more way he was getting in Jared's way, but he really didn't want to sit in the darkness alone. Even if they didn't talk, having someone close would keep the shadows from messing with his mind.
"Okay, how do you want to do this? Want me to just sit beside you until you fall asleep?" Jared closed the door as he stepped back into the room.
"You can lay down. You have to work later. I don't want you going without your sleep. I shouldn't even ask you to do this, but I think it will help me get to sleep easier. Most nights after a dream, I am up for hours."
"I wish you'd said something." Jared frowned.
"I bother you enough."
"And I want to help you as much as I can. It's not a bother." Jared reached for the light switch. "Get comfortable. I'm going to turn it off."
Orson climbed into bed, pulling the covers over him, sighing against the fresh sheets as he laid back against the pillow. "Thanks."
"No problem." The lights went out and a second later the bed dipped as Jared climbed on top of the blankets, relaxing against the pillow.
Orson let the silence settle between them, trying not to worry about how uncomfortable it was having another man beside him. Not for the reasons he would have thought. Jared's presence was comforting. It was more just the fact that he needed Jared there that bothered him most.
"You need to relax if you're going to sleep." Jared laughed.
"I'm trying. It's just weird. I feel strange having you stay with me."
"Bad strange?"
"No, it's good. I just feel bad for taking you from your bed."
"Don't. A bed is just that, a bed. I just don't want my being close to make you nervous."
"You don't. I feel safe with you. You're the only person I do," Orson admitted.
"I'm glad."
"You can sleep if you can. Get under the covers and stuff. I'm okay. I don't want you staying awake because I can't sleep. It's enough knowing you're here. You don't have to stay up with me."
Jared rolled. "What will help you sleep?"
"I don't know." Orson glanced over, barely able to make out Jared's face in the darkness.
"Would it help if I held you?"
Orson's breath hitched. He shouldn't want that as much as he did, but he thought about how good it felt on Jared's lap right after the dream. There was no denying it helped him.
"Sorry, was just trying to find a way to help you sleep." Jared sounded worried he'd said something wrong.
"No, I was just thinking how much I'd like that, but how weird it might be for you." Orson sighed. "I hate feeling like a child."
Jared shifted, the blankets lifting and suddenly he pressed his body against Orson's. "You're not a child for wanting to be held. Sometimes we all need that. There is nothing wrong with needing someone's arms around you once in a while. Come here." He gently lifted the blankets so Orson could turn.
"You're sure?" Orson didn't move.
"Yeah, I'm sure." Jared laughed. "Just turn so your back is to my chest. We'll see how it works. If it feels too much for you, I'll back away."
Orson rolled to his side, backing up slowly until his back touched Jared's chest. Just like that, Jared's arms came around him, holding him close.
"Not so bad, is it?" Jared kissed Orson's shoulder.
It wasn't bad at all. In fact, the tension seemed to ease from Orson's body as Jared's warmth met his. He sighed softly, closing his eyes as he allowed himself to accept the comfort. "No, not bad at all. Thank you." He blew out a long breath.
"Good. Close your eyes and try to sleep. I won't let anything hurt you." Jared's hand pressed to Orson's chest protectively.
"I'll try." Orson smiled, part of him wishing it wasn't his fear that caused Jared to hold him. It made him feel weak to need someone, but as he laid there feeling Jared's breath against his neck, he found it did comfort him and seemed to keep the memory of his nightmare at bay. Focusing on the arms around him, he let sleep creep in and take him, the dreams almost forgotten.
