Page 58 of The Road Home
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Jared woke up slowly, trying to figure out what the weight on his chest was. Opening his eyes, he smiled as he remembered everything that happened the night before. Orson snored softly, his head on Jared's chest.
He let him lay there as he watched him sleep, glad that he'd seemed to rest through the night. It had only taken about ten minutes before he'd fallen asleep after they'd gotten into bed. If this is what it took to help Orson through the nightmares, he'd happily do it any time he needed to.
Holding Orson in his arms had felt right, so much so that it was almost scary. He didn't want Orson to have nightmares, but he did want an excuse to hold onto him every night. Selfish as it might be, holding someone… no… holding Orson stirred feelings he hadn't ever felt before. Not that he'd held a lot of men close like this. Only one had ever shared his bed before and that was Daryl.
He caressed his fingers down Orson's bare back, wondering if the feelings he was having were just because it was nice to have someone near or if they were more. And if it was Orson, what was he supposed to do about it? He couldn't give him what he deserved, couldn't be what he needed.
Orson stirred, but Jared didn't stop the gentle motion of his fingertips up and down his spine. They both needed to be up. They had a full day ahead of them, and as much as he wanted to prolong laying together like they were, it was probably best it end sooner rather than later.
"Sorry." Orson started to move.
"For?" Jared pressed his palm to Orson's back, hoping he wouldn't move away.
"Sleeping on you."
"It was nice." Jared smiled as Orson stared up at him from where his head was on his chest.
"I can't believe I slept so well."
"I'm glad you did. If having me beside you helps you sleep, then I don't mind doing it." He started to draw circles over Orson's back.
"Thank you for last night, for all you did to help me." Orson sighed. "I hate that I woke you."
"I'm glad you did. You don't have to fight the dreams alone. How's your head?"
"I have a slight headache, but it's not as bad as I thought it would be."
"You have a bruise." Jared used his free hand to reach out and trace the edge of the bruise.
"So do you." Orson wrinkled his brow as he moved so he was leaning up on his elbow beside Jared. "Your cheek is bruised."
"It will be okay." Jared smiled. "It's not sore."
"How did you get that?" Orson asked, then paled. "Did I do that?"
"You didn't mean to. You were still dreaming when I grabbed you. You thought I was—"
"No, I could never think that about you." Orson shook his head. "I'm so sorry. I shouldn't be here. I should go."
Just hearing Orson voicing that he thought he should leave caused a level of icy fear to settle in the center of Jared’s chest. He reached out and pulled Orson back against him. "No, this is right where you should be."
"But—"
"It was an accident. I'm okay. I don't want you going anywhere." Jared stared up at Orson. Even with his bruised face, he was attractive. "Do you really want to leave?"
"No, but I feel like all I do is interrupt your life."
"Does this feel as if I'm unhappy?" Jared traced his finger down Orson's cheek, stopping just at the corner of his lips.
"This feels…" Orson closed his eyes.
"What? What does this feel to you?" Jared ran his finger over Orson's bottom lip, smiling when Orson's eyes opened to stare at him. "Tell me what you feel."
Orson swallowed hard, but never stopped staring into Jared's eyes. "This feels right. It feels good."
Jared grinned. "I agree." He cupped his hand behind Orson's head, gently putting pressure to draw him forward, off his chest, to meet him halfway for a soft kiss.
