Page 18 of Blinded
CHAPTER FIVE
BRETT
I was nervous as Bayne led me into the woods. I'd never felt so unsure in my life. The darkness haunted me, and the more I tried to focus on my other senses, the more confused I became. Birds chirped, and I heard a scratching sound that could have been a squirrel running up a tree, but I couldn't smell them. What I could smell was my mate. His scent consumed and surrounded me, which eased my apprehension, but it also blocked out everything else around me, and that was dangerous. I needed to find a way to focus past our bond and his smell so I was aware what else was around me.
"Do you want to shift or walk in?" Bayne asked.
We'd already talked about me shifting, but I was glad he was giving me the choice again now that we were outside, surrounded by trees and bushes. I'd thought I'd be able to handle letting my wolf follow Bayne, but now, I wasn't so sure. "I don't know if I can do this without you holding on to me." I took a deep breath, trying to imagine what was in front of me.
"It's up to you. If you want to hike in, then shift once we're there to get a better sense of the smells, we can do that. From what I was told it's a clearing, so there won't be too much to get in your way. I won't leave your side either way." Bayne ran his fingers through my hair, brushing it back from my forehead.
"Let's do this for a bit and see. My wolf wants out, but I'm not sure he gets how different this is going to be. He wants to run and chase you, but that's not going to happen right now." I leaned against Bayne, needing the closeness to help me work through the emotions that were rushing through me.
This was my life now, and somehow, I needed to adapt to it. I was lucky enough to have Bayne with me. I would never make it alone. Still, I didn't want to be so needy that he regretted having me as his mate. I was already worried he was wishing he could have a normal mate. I didn't want to make it worse.
"As we walk, try and remember what you and Bridger were doing. See if you can remember something you didn't before. It could be a smell you ignored, a sound that was overlooked."
"We shifted and started to run. I was in the lead the whole way. I was thinking about the fish and how hungry I was. My wolf wanted to get to the water as fast as we could." We started to walk slowly up the trail. I shuffled my feet nervously as Bayne led me, his arm tightly around my waist. "The only time I slowed was when I smelled the deer. My wolf wanted to hunt, but Bridger and I had talked about hunting later in the week with a group of his friends. There was no point in taking down a deer for just the two of us when we had a group who would feed later."
"How long after you smelled the deer did you feel the pain hit your leg?" Bayne asked.
"Minutes, if that." I paused. "Maybe I was so focused on the deer I missed the scent of the humans?"
"Could be, but it's not likely. Your wolf would be leery of humans. The deer being around is natural, humans not so much in this area. The only people who should have access to this land are shifters. I mean it's not fenced, but there are trespassing signs all over. This is the area we use for the group hunts. The bears often use it for their group outings up at the lake." Bayne started walking again, urging me to move with him.
"It took only seconds from when I felt the pain in my leg to when I blacked out. I remember pausing, turning to lick at my leg, but that was it. The next thing I knew I woke up and my back legs were tied to something. I was beaten and couldn't see anything. I smelled blood, both mine and Bridger's, but I couldn't get him to respond to my yelps. Hell, I was so weak I'm not even sure I made noise. I might have just thought I did. When I smelled the bears coming, I hoped they would finish me off, put me out of my pain, but as they got closer, I realized they were shifters and knew they wouldn't kill me."
"I'm glad they found you." Bayne's grip on me tightened. "I would have been hunting and come across the area and smelled your scent and it would have killed me to know my mate died there without me ever knowing him."
I frowned at the thought. "You deserve so much more than me."
"Those are almost exactly the same words I told Kurt earlier, only I said them about me. You deserve so much better than me. I have no clue how to be everything you need, everything you deserve."
"Why do you say that?"
Bayne didn't answer for a few minutes. He just kept steering me up the mountain. I let him have the time, even though I was wondering what he was thinking.
"I've never really been in a relationship. I guess my last serious one was with a girl I dated in my teens. We were together about a year, then she went off to school in Virginia. After that, I would get together with people, have sex, go out for a beer or something like that, but nothing ever serious. I don't know how to be with someone the way we are now going to be together. Don't get me wrong. I want this. I want it with every fiber of my soul, but I'm scared to death I'm going to fail you and not be what you need. I want to be perfect for you, but I'm so far from perfect that you'll probably be cursing the fact we are mates before too long."
I stopped, turning to face Bayne. "Don't think that. You are going to be exactly what I need. You said yourself, Fate doesn't get mating wrong. The two of us will figure it out and make it work. I'm just as scared as you are. I haven't had a lot of experience, and what I have had hasn't been the romantic kind. I've had a lot of sex, but never really let anyone get too close. I had a sub for a year when we were in San Diego. He was the closest thing to a long-term relationship I've had, but honestly, we were nothing more than friends who found we had good sex together. When it was time for me to come home, leaving him wasn't hard. He found a new Dom, I came home and did my thing. We text from time to time, but there was no love between us."
Bayne's fingers gripped my waist. "Being a Dom is a big part of your life, isn't it?"
I swallowed hard. It was a conversation we had to have, but I didn't want to scare him with it. "It is, has been, but it's not everything. I can go without it. It won't be an issue if you're not into it."
"Oh, I'm into it. I'm just curious what I'm facing here. Are we talking whips and chains or just basic submission?" Bayne's scent grew stronger and I was sure if I reached down I'd find his cock hard against the zipper of his pants.
"Both, but not always. Sometimes just having someone submit is enough, but there are times I enjoy harder things. I promise it won't be something we have to do. If you're not interested, if you have limits, I'll be okay. Something tells me that sex with your mate is entirely different than sex with anyone else. Tonight, when we mate, I want it to be just normal sex, just us. I want to know what it is like normally for us before we try anything new." I reached up, bumping my hand against his chin accidentally before moving it to cup his cheek. "If you need control, I can give you that too. I've never given it to anyone else, but you, my mate, I'd submit to." Somehow, I knew that as mates we would have to submit to each other eventually, allowing the other to have full control, showing that we trusted each other in every way. It wasn't so much a sexual thing as a need to understand that we were equal, neither stronger than the other.
Bayne turned his head, kissing my palm. "We can try everything. I am a control freak in almost every part of my life. I like being in power, but the one place where I like to let go, to give someone else control has always been in bed. It's the only place I let someone else be in charge. It's almost an escape for me. A time when I can let my walls down and just feel and enjoy sex. With everything else I deal with for the pack and in my life, I have to have that release sometimes where I'm not the one everyone turns to. I've never played around with whips or anything like that, but I'm willing to try things if you'll show me how."
"If you show me what you like?" I smiled, glad that it didn't seem this was going to be an issue between us.
"I like sex, and I love you. The two combined won't ever be a bad thing." Bayne kissed me softly. "We're getting sidetracked. Now all I want to do is go back to the house and make our mating official."
I laughed, but at the same time considered forgetting our hike. I took a deep breath, refocusing on what we were doing. "Me too, but I need to do this first. I want to know the scent of the person who did this to me. I want to know if I smell it again that they are the ones who needs to pay for my sight and Bridger's life."
"We'll find whoever did this." Bayne turned and started to lead me back up the mountain.
