Page 35 of Pain
"I'm trying not to."
"Do you want me to stay on the phone while I drive?" He would do whatever he needed to, so he could help keep Matt calm.
"No, I need to change clothes. I'll be ready by the time you get here. Thanks, Xan."
"Again, not a problem. See you in ten." He hung up the phone, making sure he had his wallet and his keys before rushing out the door. His heart pounded as he thought about what this all might mean. He wasn't sure what would happen if Matt got bad news. If there was a body along with other children's clothing, it could mean anything. Thank God, the body wasn't hers. That was a call he wouldn't wish on any parent.
He tried not to think the worst as he made his way to Matt's.
He wasn't shocked that the moment he pulled into the driveway, Matt was out the door and locking the house.
Xander didn't bother to get out, instead waiting for Matt to come to him.
"Hey, thanks for this." Matt took a deep breath as he reached for his seatbelt. "I'm not sure I could do it alone. I called Jason, but he didn't answer."
"I don't mind a bit. I'm glad you called. You shouldn't have to do this alone." Xander pulled back out of the driveway. "What did the detective say?"
Matt pressed his lips together as if he didn't want to say, but finally glanced over at Xander. "They found a boy's body. Nine years old. Buried with it was a pile of girls' clothing. He said there was at least twenty items. I didn't have pictures of what Faith was wearing, but they could sort of see it from the grainy images from the school's surveillance cameras when she walked out that day. He said there was a yellow shirt that could match hers, but they can't be sure, and four hair ribbons. Faith loved ribbons and had one in her hair that day." Matt pinched the bridge of his nose, but didn't stop a few tears from falling. "I'm not sure I can do this. What if it's her stuff? What if she's the next body they find?" His shoulders shook as he covered his face with his hands.
"You take this one step at a time. You don't worry about what you are going to do. You worry about walking in there and finding out the facts before you jump to conclusions."
Matt shook his head. "Those clothes belong to other girls. How many other parents just got the same call I did?"
"Matt, you know as well as I do how many children are out there. This isn't going to be easy for anyone."
"I'll die if she's not alive. I can't live without her."
As much as Xander was sure that it was just a father's pain speaking and Matt wouldn't really take his own life, it still was enough of a warning that if any of the stuff ended up being Faith's, they couldn't leave Matt alone. There was no telling what would happen if Faith was found dead or even if something hinted that she might be.
As hard as he tried to keep Matt positive, the truth was, the chances of finding Faith alive grew less and less every day. Girls her age were either sold into slavery outside the country or killed soon after being taken. They'd be lucky to ever find her. He would never tell Matt that, but he was pretty sure he already knew. Xander didn't blame him for not wanting to admit it out loud.
"One step at a time. You don't know anything yet. Try and stay positive." Xander didn't think twice about reaching over and resting a hand on Matt's thigh. "You're not alone. No matter what, we are all here with you."
Matt nodded, but didn't say anything.
"I'm headed to the police station?"
"Yeah, sorry. The one just down on Carson Ave.." Matt stared out the window. "The last time I was there was the day she went missing."
Xander didn't know what to say, and that didn't happen often. He wanted to comfort Matt, but he wasn't going to fill him with lies by saying everything was going to be okay when he wasn't sure it was. What was he supposed to say to someone who might find out their child was probably dead in just a few minutes? He gave Matt's thigh a gentle squeeze, surprised when Matt's hand covered his and linked their fingers.
Xander didn't react, but he wanted to. He wanted to glance over and look at Matt, try and understand why he would hold his hand. That wasn't something a straight man did, even when he was scared and grieving. It was totally unexpected, and even more shocking to Xander, is how right it felt. It wasn't something he could think about right now. There were bigger issues.
As they pulled into the police station parking lot, Matt released his hand. "Thanks, you don't have to come in if you don't want."
"Bullshit. I'm not letting you go in alone. You need someone with you." Xander got out of the car and came around to the passenger door as Matt climbed out. "We'll do this together, okay? You don't have to face any of it alone. No matter what happens, I'm here, and the rest of the team is just a phone call away." He was sure the whole team would show up if Matt needed them.
"I'm so scared." Matt looked across the lot at the large building.
"I know, but not knowing would be worse." He put his arm around Matt, hoping it wasn't too much, and led him to the police station.
Once inside, he stepped aside and let Matt go up to the desk and talk to the woman sitting behind it.
Almost instantly, a man in a suit walked out, first smiling at Matt before turning to Xander and narrowing his eyes as he took in his tattoos and rough look.
"This is Xander. He was nice enough to come down with me. This is Detective Michaels." Matt gripped Xander's shoulder. "I didn't think I could do this alone."
Xander offered his hand. "Nice to meet you." He was used to cops looking at him as if he belonged in a jail cell. If they only knew how close to the truth that was. He turned his attention from the detective and back to the only thing that mattered, Matt.
