Page 36 of Pain
"We have a room set up if you'll follow me." The detective led them into the back to a simple questioning room.
There were two chairs on either side, and Xander slipped onto the one next to Matt, placing his hand back on his thigh to help support him.
Matt fisted his hands on the table. "What do I need to do?"
"Just look through the pictures and tell us if anything belongs to Faith. Take your time. I know how hard this must be." The detective sat down across from them, placing a stack of photographs upside down in front of Matt.
Xander had seen this done before when a family member had to identify a body. It wasn't like they do it in the movies. There was no walking into the morgue and having a sheet pulled back. It was simply photographs placed upside down for the family to look at.
Matt stared at the pile of pictures for several moments before he glanced at Xander, then back at the detective. "What does it mean if they are hers?"
"It means the cases are connected, nothing more than that," the detective said softly.
"I don't know if I can do this." Matt sat back as if trying to distance himself from the photos.
"You have to know. The not knowing will eat at you." Xander gave Matt's thigh a squeeze. "If you walk out of here without looking, you'll spend the rest of the day and night hating yourself for not looking, for not knowing."
"What if they are hers?"
There wasn't an answer for that. Everyone in the room was aware what it would mean if any of the clothing belonged to Faith, but no one wanted to say it.
"Do you want me to turn them over one at a time?" Xander asked. The sooner they got this done, the sooner they could move on to the next step.
Matt shook his head. "I need to do this."
"Okay." Xander was proud of how strong Matt was being. If this was his child, he wasn't sure he could hold it together.
With a shaky hand, Matt slowly reached up and gripped the corner of the first photo. He took an uneven breath before he quickly flipped the picture over.
The photo was of a blue jacket, covered with blood and dirt stains as it lay on a steel table. Xander hoped Matt didn't know that the stains were blood, but by the way his face paled and the tremor that coursed through his body, Xander was sure he did.
"Not hers." Matt quickly flipped through the next one, then the next.
He made it through half the pile before he stopped. "I feel like I'm playing Russian Roulette." He used the back of his hand to wipe sweat from his brow.
"You've already passed two of them we weren't sure of," the detective told him.
"How many more are there that could be hers?"
"Just finish looking. I can't give you any more information." Detective Michaels fidgeted with his pen.
"You're almost done." Xander caressed his hand down Matt's leg, gripping his knee this time.
The tension in the room was heavy as Matt reached out and flipped another photo. With each turn, he released a long breath, almost as if he was able to finally start breathing again after not being able to from the moment he'd first gotten the phone call.
"Two more." Xander rubbed the tips of his fingers over Matt's knee.
As if he just wanted it over, Matt flipped them both quickly, staring at them for a long moment before shaking his head. "No, none of it belongs to her." As soon as the words were out, his body trembled, and a loud sob escaped him as he started to cry.
Xander shared an understanding look with the detective before he turned and pulled Matt against his chest, giving him support as the stress and emotional overload finally took its toll on him.
Matt shook in his arms, and tears were wetting Xander's shirt, leaking through to his skin. He didn't care. He didn't even want to try to imagine what Matt was going through. It was a relief that none of the clothing was Faith's, but it also meant they still didn't have any leads in the case. Faith was still missing, and no one knew where she was.
"Can we go?" Xander glanced at Detective Michaels as he continued to hold Matt.
"Yes, I'll be in touch if there is anything else. Thank you for coming down." He offered his hand to Xander.
Xander released one hand from Matt's back, shaking the detective's. "Thank you."
