Page 38 of Pain
"You're right. Nothing helps." Matt tried to push Xander away by thrusting his hips forward, but all he managed to do was cause the towel he had wrapped around his waist to come free.
Xander seemed to ignore the fact that Matt was naked against him as he continued to hold him against the wall. "I'm not going to let you hurt yourself or destroy things."
Matt glared at Xander, wanting to hate him. He wanted to fight, break things, let all of his emotions take control and go on a wild rampage, but as he locked eyes with Xander, some of the fight was forced out of him. Broken and tired, Matt finally gave in, letting his head fall against Xander's chest as he took several deep breaths.
"It's going to be okay," Xander whispered against his ear. "I'm not going to let you fall apart. We'll get through this together."
As the tension eased from Matt's body, he leaned hard against Xander, needing his support. When Xander released his hands, he didn't think twice about dropping them around Xander and hugging him tightly. "I'm so tired of trying to be strong."
"You don't need to be strong with me." Xander pulled back and gently lifted Matt's chin in his palm, forcing him to look at him. "It's okay to let go. I just won't let you hurt yourself. I won't let you destroy things."
Matt stared into Xander's eyes, seeing the concern, the compassion. It was something he hadn't seen in a long time. Everyone else looked at him with pity. Xander understood him. He didn't try and make it all okay. He accepted it for what it was and allowed Matt to do the same. Suddenly needing the closeness, the compassion, the touch of another person, Matt closed the distance between them and softly kissed Xander's mouth.
Xander tensed for a brief moment, but then seemed to give in, his arms tightening around Matt as he moved his mouth against his and gave Matt exactly what he desired.
It had been years since he'd kissed another man. In college, he'd dated a guy for several years before he graduated and went on his way. It was soon after that, Matt had met Jill, and that was all there ever had been in his life, until now.
Xander's hands caressed up and down his back, slowing just at the base of his spine, stopping before sliding down over his ass.
It was a vivid reminder to Matt that he was naked in Xander's arms, but he didn't care. He wanted this, needed it. It had been too long, and even if it meant nothing, the arousal that was growing was exactly the thing he needed to separate from the real-world problems that were starting to consume him.
He kissed Xander back hard, parting his mouth and caressing his tongue over his lips, deepening the kiss. He moved his hips forward, brushing his arousal over Xander's hardening cock, groaning against his mouth in pleasure at the feel of another man against him. Even through the clothing Xander still wore, his arousal was evident.
Xander was the one to pull back, his breath coming hard as he rested his forehead against Matt's. "We have to stop."
"Not unless you want to. I want this, need it."
Xander closed his eyes as if he was debating on whether to argue or not. When he opened them, he stared directly into Matt's. "You're sure?"
"God, yes. Please." He didn't care what repercussions there would be later. For just a little while he needed something else to focus on. He needed to feel something other than despair and fear.
That must have been enough for Xander because he dipped his head and claimed Matt's lips, this time he controlled the kiss, teasing his mouth, and pressing his tongue inside as he wrapped his arms around Matt's body and hauled him tightly against him.
Matt slid his hands under the back of Xander's shirt, running his palms over his warm skin as he rocked his hips, pressing his cock against Xander's, wishing they were both naked so he could feel the heat from him there as well.
As if thinking the same thing, Xander suddenly lifted Matt off the ground before turning and carrying him to the bed. He gently set him down on the mattress before stepping back and lifting his shirt from his body.
Matt watched as Xander worked open the button, then the zipper on his pants, his own cock pulsing with need and growing harder as he enjoyed the show that Xander was giving him.
"Touch yourself." Xander's eyes narrowed as he focused on Matt's cock even as he kicked off his boots and bent down to pull off his socks.
Matt didn't hesitate. He parted his legs as he wrapped his fist around his cock and slowly started to stroke. He was so hard it hurt, harder than he could ever remember being in his life. Precum dripped from the head as he slid his thumb through the glistening moisture with each stroke of his palm.
"You are so fucking hot." Xander rid himself of his pants.
Seeing Xander naked, his pale skin covered in dark ink, his muscular body tensing with each breath he took, it was a thing of beauty. He wanted to taste every inch of it, feel every curve of skin, and enjoy it being pressed tightly against his own. "Let me taste you." Matt scooted to the edge of the bed, reaching out, hoping Xander would come to him.
"Fuck…" Xander took two steps and stopped, standing inches from the bed and between Matt's legs as they hung over the edge.
Matt smiled, not giving Xander a chance to refuse him as he leaned forward and took him into his mouth. He loved giving head. It was the only thing he'd missed when he'd married Jill. Being bisexual, he found pleasure in both men and women, but there was something about sucking a hard cock that gave him something he could never find with a woman. He licked up his length before sliding his mouth down him, taking him as deep as he could.
"Jesus!" Xander fisted his hands in Matt's hair. "Fuck, that's good."
Matt didn't mind that Xander rocked his hips, feeding his cock into his mouth. He took it, craved it, let pleasing Xander become his only focus. Unable to go as deep as he wanted, he slid off the bed, going to his knees before Xander, never releasing his cock.
Xander moaned, and as Matt looked up, he found him with his head back, lips parted, and painted skin starting to glisten with beads of sweat.
It had been years since Matt had been with another man, years since he'd sucked on a hard cock, but he had no problem remembering how, relaxing his throat, opening himself, and taking Xander as deeply as he could.
