Page 40 of Pain
"Yeah, it was." Xander turned his head, forcing Matt to release his beard as he sought his mouth for a long, lazy kiss.
Gripping his cock to make sure the condom didn't slip off, Matt slowly pulled from inside Xander, taking a second to remove the condom and drop it in the trash beside the bed before flopping to his back beside Xander.
"You okay?" Xander wrapped an arm over Matt's stomach as he relaxed beside him.
"I can't remember the last time I was this good." Matt closed his eyes. "Thank you for that."
"I should be thanking you." Xander laughed. "How is it I didn't know you were gay?"
Matt grinned, his eyes still closed. "Bisexual. I dated more men than women in the past, but there was something about Jill. She made everyone pale in comparison, but I've always missed being with men. It's different, ya know?"
"No." Xander laughed. "I've never been with a woman."
"Yeah, well, take my word for it. Don't get me wrong, I love Jill, but sometimes I wanted rougher, wilder. I missed calloused fingers and the scent of a man. I would have never cheated on her, but that didn't mean I didn't think about it sometimes." Matt turned his head, opening his eyes as he looked at Xander. He grinned, finding him looking the most relaxed he'd ever seen him. "I never planned on anything happening between you and me. Sex was the last thing on my mind. It just sort of happened."
"I'm not complaining." Xander rolled to his side, facing him. "It's the last thing I expected, but I'm more than happy it happened. I think we both needed that, and I couldn't find a hotter partner."
Matt blushed. "You could, but thanks, that was sweet. It did help. For a little while, I was able to just forget about everything. My mind wasn't racing a hundred miles an hour. I could focus on you and only you."
"Is it horrible of me to volunteer to help you with that if you ever need it again?" Xander leaned over and stole a gentle kiss.
"Would you want to do it again?" Matt didn't want to assume anything, but he wouldn't turn down another chance to do what they just did.
"Are you kidding? Of course. I'm a man. I'm not going to turn down hot sex if you want it. Just know, I don't like to top much, so if that's an issue—"
"I don't like to bottom much, so it works." Matt laughed. "I wouldn't mind doing it again. Sometimes I just need to…" He paused, thinking how wrong his words might sound.
"Escape?" Xander asked.
"Yeah, is that horrible? I don't want you thinking I'm using you."
"I don't mind. I know this isn't some great romance. If we can find pleasure in each other, help get each other through the long nights where we think too much, and have fun at the same time, then I'm more than okay with that."
"The team won't care?"
"Ah…" Xander bit his lip.
"Not allowed?"
"Not recommended. Bryon says that it can distract us, but he's not one to speak when Dyson and I think he's fucking Becca."
"Really?" Matt was shocked. "Isn't he like thirty years older than her?"
"Close to that. I know she is twenty-five, but I'm not sure of Bry's age."
"So, we don't tell them?"
"We don't hide it, but we don't flaunt it either. It's not like we are together a lot at the team house anyway. When we are there, you've got your head wrapped up in the computers. We'll be okay."
Matt's stomach growled.
"Dinner's ready, but probably cold by now." Xander traced his fingertips over Matt's stomach.
"How about a quick shower together, then we can eat. Then maybe, if you're up for it, we can repeat what we just did?"
Xander laughed. "I'll be up for it. That won't be an issue." He rolled over, wrapping Matt in his arms. "Getting up for you will never be a problem." As if emphasizing his words, he pressed his half hard cock against Matt's thigh.
"That's good to know." Matt forced back the guilt that was starting to creep into his mind. His daughter was gone and here he was fucking around literally in bed. He refused to feel guilty. He needed the escape, the release, the tension breaker, and if he could find that with Xander, he wasn't going to refuse it. "Let's go shower." He nipped at Xander's lip before forcing himself out of bed.
