Page 62 of Pain
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
It was strange walking through Matt's house without him home. Even though he'd spent a lot of time there, it was as if he was invading Matt's space as he pulled a bag out of the closet and started to fill it with Matt's stuff.
Even though Matt had said he didn't need anything, Xander decided to put in a couple of changes of clothes and his toothbrush and other things that he was going to need. He doubted Matt would leave the hospital until Faith did, so the more comfortable he could make him, the better.
Once he had Matt's things, Xander headed into Faith's room. He'd only been in there the one night he'd found Matt crying, and entering the room without Matt seemed wrong, still, he needed to get Faith her things.
He read the list, grabbing what he could from the dresser, then moved over to the bed, picking up the stuffed zebra. He held it for a moment, thinking how one simple item could bring such comfort to a person.
For years, he'd taken down pedophiles and moved on to the next, but now, he was going to see what happened after. He was going to see the recovery and healing that Faith would have to go through.
It wouldn't be much different than his own recovery after his abuse. Faith would hopefully have a better support system than he did, but a lot of the emotions and feelings she would have would be exactly what he had felt too. It wasn't going to be easy for her.
Xander sighed, the memories of his past coming back fast, haunting him even years later. He'd been older than Faith when the abuse stopped, but younger than her when it started. He still remembered the fear and the pain of each attack. It didn't matter how much time had passed, he could remember it like it was yesterday.
He forced the thoughts back, needing to focus on the here and now. Faith was who mattered, and he would do whatever he could to help her heal and to make sure that Matt had all the support he needed while she did. In many ways, Matt would need to heal as well. Already, he could see the guilt starting to eat at him. This was not Matt's fault and Xander would do everything he could to make sure he knew that.
After grabbing a few more things from her room, Xander headed back out to his car. It was nearly dawn, and he was tired, but he wouldn't stop and rest until he was sure that Matt and Faith were okay. There would be time to catch up on sleep later.
He made his way to the hospital, wondering how Faith would take to him. He didn't have a lot of experience with kids. There weren't any around in his life, but he'd always liked them. There was something refreshing about a child who hadn't been tainted by the world. Of course, Faith didn't fall into that category anymore. She had experienced the worst of the worst. Much more than most children would ever have to face in their lifetime.
The hospital parking lot was more crowded than it had been when he'd left, and he had to park farther away. With the two bags in hand, and a stuffed zebra under his arm, Xander made his way inside.
He stopped at the information desk, sure that Faith had been moved upstairs by now. Once he gave her name, showed his wristband, and explained why he was there after visiting hours, he was allowed inside after being directed where to go.
The hospital was eerily quiet as he walked down the halls. It broke his heart to glance in so many rooms and see children sleeping in the hospital beds. He could only guess what brought them there, but it didn't change the fact that in a perfect world, a child would never need a place like this.
Xander paused as he came to Faith's room. Her door was partially closed, but there was a light coming through. Glancing in, he saw Faith sleeping in her bed. His heart skipped at his first sight of her. She was the spitting image of Matt but in female form. She shared his dark hair and his ivory skin. She looked so young, so innocent as she slept.
Beside her bed, Matt was asleep on a cot, and Xander almost hesitated entering, not wanting to bother either of them. Deciding that he would quietly drop off the stuff and leave, giving them a chance to rest, he eased into the room, trying to be as silent as he could. He set Matt's bag down on the floor beside the bed, but as he went to set Faith's down, he found her staring up at him, her eyes wide, tinged with fear.
Worried he would scare her, he took a step back, whispering, "I'm a friend of your dad, he asked me to grab some things from your house." He held up the stuffed zebra.
"Zee…" She reached out for the stuffed animal.
Xander grinned as he handed it to her. "Is that his name?"
"Her name." Faith hugged the animal tightly. "I missed her."
"I'm sure she missed you too. I know your dad kept her company, so she didn't get lonely while you were away. I saw him hugging her." Xander winked. "I also got you some clothes your dad said you might want and a pink blanket he said you liked."
"Can I have the blanket?" Faith glanced up at him nervously. It was clear she wasn't completely comfortable with him.
Xander kneeled and opened the bag he'd packed for her, pulling out the soft blanket. He was surprised that Faith didn't seem more scared of him. He thought for sure a strange man, especially one who looked like him, would freak her out. Maybe it was the fact he'd walked in holding things that were familiar to her that helped ease her mind. "Here ya go. Want me to put it over you?"
Faith nodded.
Xander laid the blanket over her, then stepped back. "Can I sit with you?" He nodded to a chair on the other side of the bed.
Faith nodded again.
Moving around the bed, he took a seat beside her. "My name's Xander. It's nice to finally meet you. Your dad told me a lot about you."
"How do you know him?" She glanced at him, showing the first sign of nervousness.
"Well, your dad was searching for you, and I work with a group who helps find missing kids. We met that way, but became really good friends too while we worked to get you back home." Xander had no clue what story Matt would want to tell her, but he figured keeping it as close to the truth was best. She didn't need details, simple would be enough. "I'm glad you're safe and back with your dad."
"Me too. I was so scared." She hugged the zebra to her.
