Page 72 of Pain
"You do?"
"Not as often as I used to, but I still go in every couple of months to talk about things." She didn't need to know that it was mostly about team stuff now. He just wanted her to know it was okay to talk to her and not feel like she was weak because she went in.
"Hmm…" She stood and went to one of the beanbags, flopping down in it. "Dad needs to get some of these for my room. I like them." She puffed the area around her head before relaxing.
"I'll tell him that." Xander smiled as he leaned back on the couch and blew out a long breath. He hoped he helped her, but it was hard knowing what was right or wrong to say. All he could do was go by his own past and try and guide her in the right direction.
He glanced back over at her, finding her asleep. He watched her for a long time, glad she was comfortable enough with him to let her guard down. He turned the volume to the TV down all the way and put in his favorite game, wondering how much longer Matt would be.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
Matt made his way down the stairs to the game room, surprised when he got to the bottom and found Faith sound asleep in a large, green bean bag. He quietly walked over to where Xander was playing a game and sat down beside him. "Sorry that took so long." He kept his voice low.
"It's okay. We had fun." Xander ended the game and turned to Matt. "Everything okay?"
Matt nodded. "Carter needed help getting through some security stuff at one of the new sites he's found. It was a mess, but we got in." He glanced at Faith. "I figured it was safe to bring her here."
"It was. It's good for her to meet the people you work with, but I could use a smoke."
"We can go upstairs. She'll be okay." Matt glanced back at Faith. Xander had been with her for hours, and it wasn't like him to go that long without smoking.
"You're sure?"
"Yeah. I leave her alone in bed when I get up. It's time she gets used to being alone sometimes." Matt stood, walking up the steps, Xander following behind.
"She mentioned that. She wants a nightlight or something."
"For her room?"
"I think so."
Matt nodded. "We can get one. What else did she say?"
Xander stepped outside and lit a cigarette. "We talked about a lot of things. She's scared, rightfully so, nervous they'll come back and get her." He blew out a long trail of smoke, then reached over and pulled Matt to him. "I've missed you." He bent his head and kissed him softly.
Matt relaxed against Xander, his body instantly leaning into him, finding comfort in his touch and closeness as he kissed him back. When he broke the kiss, he smiled. "I've missed you too."
Xander continued to hold Matt against him. "Faith is strong, but it's going to take time to open up. She's thinking about a lot, but scared to mention it to anyone. She's trying to protect you, keep you from hurting more than she already knows you are." Xander brushed his lips over Matt's neck. "She's nervous about school starting, things like that."
"Yeah, I'm not sure how to handle that one." Matt pressed his forehead to Xander's strong chest. "School scares me too."
"At least the job you have now will let you drop her off and pick her up. The sooner you can get her back into normal routines, the better she'll be."
Matt nodded, wondering why Faith would talk to Xander about all this instead of him. "She did well in therapy, but I felt like she was holding back."
"She probably is, but it's all new. Katie hasn't earned her trust yet. In time, she'll get used to her and open up a bit more. It takes time, sometimes even years. She's only been home a week. She's doing pretty amazing so soon." Xander turned Matt, drawing him so his back was to his chest, then wrapping an arm around him. "How are you doing?"
"I'm struggling. So scared I'm going to say or do something wrong. I don't know what she needs. How do I assure her she's safe? I watch her jump at the slightest sound, see her watching over her shoulder. I want to make it all okay." Matt closed his eyes, wondering if things would ever get back to normal, and if not, how did he at least make it easier.
"It's just going to take time. You can't rush healing." Xander lifted his head up as he took another drag off his smoke.
"I'm glad you showed up today. I was worried what I'd do when Becca left."
"You should have called me. I'm always happy to hang with Faith. She kicked my ass on Mario Kart."
Matt laughed. "That's always been one of her favorites."
"It's good to hear you laugh," Xander whispered against his ear.
