Page 83 of Pain
"Yep, Daddy is too. He fell asleep in my bed the other night while reading me a story. I had to finish the book myself."
Xander laughed. He remembered that night. Matt hadn't come into bed until well after midnight. Xander thought he'd been talking to Faith, but when he'd stumbled into bed, Matt had mumbled something about falling asleep on Faith's bed and his back hurting from laying on the stuffed animals that she kept around her.
"Enjoy being young." He smiled down at her, sad that she had to grow up too fast in so many ways.
Settling down, they watched the movie in silence, the only sound was the crunch of the popcorn they ate. He loved sitting with her like this, doing everyday things that not so long ago she was at risk of never experiencing again.
When the movie ended, Faith turned to him, reaching up and pulling free a piece of popcorn that had dropped into his beard. "That was a good movie. Can we get a pig?"
Xander nearly choked. "A pig? Um, no. I might help you talk your dad into a dog or cat, but I'm pretty sure he will say no to a pig."
"You'd let me get a dog, right? It's just Daddy saying no?"
"I would, but it's not up to me."
Faith sighed, then suddenly looked up at him, staring straight into his eyes.
"Are you going to be my other daddy?"
Xander froze, unsure what to say. Matt had talked to Faith soon after she'd seen them kiss about him dating a man, and made sure she was really okay with it, but other than that, their relationship hadn't even been talked about. As comfortable as he was with Faith and Matt, he hadn't ever thought about the long term. The simple thought that Faith was asking meant she was thinking about the future and was becoming attached. Xander swallowed hard, unsure how to answer. "You know I don't want to replace your mom, right?" He hoped talking about her mother might distract her from the conversation she'd started to have with him.
"Oh, I know. My mommy will always be my mommy, but I have a friend, Claire. She has two daddies. She was adopted. She sees her mommy sometimes, but her mommy was nice enough to let her daddies raise her. All her mommy did was carry her in her tummy. I know you won't be my mommy, but since she's dead, you can be my daddy now, right?"
Xander's pulse raced. How had he gone from casual sex to having Faith want him as her father? As flattered as he was, the thought of settling down, of committing to something long-term, scared the hell out of him. It was one thing when it was just Matt and him trying to have fun, enjoy each other's company, but now Faith wanted something long-term, and Xander wasn't ready for that. He'd never been the type of guy to settle down. "Um, I'm not sure if I'd make a good daddy, but I do promise I'll always be your friend."
"You love me and Daddy, don't you?"
Xander took a deep breath, unable to think clearly. What was he supposed to say? He stared at Faith, seeing the hope and trust in her deep brown eyes, and his chest tightened. "I care about you and your daddy very much. You know I would do anything for either one of you, but what you are talking about is something more."
Faith sighed. "It doesn't have to be so hard. Adults are funny." She shook her head. "If you like each other, why can't you be my other daddy?"
"Because that is something more, something that your daddy and I would have to decide later. Right now, we just want to make sure you're okay. Let you know how happy we are that you're home. Is that alright?"
Faith nodded. "I guess. I just like it here. Daddy's looking for a new house and I don't want to go. I like your house. It's safe here."
Xander would never regret bringing Faith to his house, but now she wanted to stay, and he wasn't sure what to do about that. Maybe he could move and let Matt keep the house.
What he had with Matt was comfortable, and Xander wouldn't deny that he cared about Matt and Faith more than he did any other people in the world, but she was talking marriage, lifelong commitments. That wasn't something Xander was ready for. He wasn't the settle down and play house kind of guy. "We'll figure it out. I promise you that no matter what happens, where you move, or what happens between your daddy and me, I will always make sure you are safe, okay? I won't let anyone hurt you again." It was a promise he would do everything he could to keep, even if it meant following her life well into adulthood to make sure she was safe.
Faith moved so quickly, he almost fell when she threw herself into his arms. It was the first time she'd let him hug her, and he welcomed her, wrapping his arms around her and smiling. He might be able to run from his feelings for Matt, but he couldn't run from his feelings for her. "I love you." He kissed the top of her head as she hugged him back.
"I love you too, and I hope you're wrong. You're who I want for a daddy." She pulled back. "Daddy said I could have ice cream, can I?"
Xander laughed. "Of course, but then you have to brush your teeth and get ready for bed without a fight, okay?"
She nodded as she grabbed his hand. "Come on, I know where Daddy hid the chocolate syrup."
Xander did the only thing he could do and let her lead him to the kitchen. He hoped when the time came for this all to end, he'd be able to walk away without hurting her, because he was sure that leaving her was going to tear him apart.
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
Xander glanced at the file in front of him, memorizing all the information inside. It was a simple sting, in and out, no kids on site, but the man he was going after was a vile creature. Kent Jenkins was a seventy-year-old with a history of child abuse that started in his early twenties. How the guy wasn't sitting in a prison cell was beyond him. If anyone should be locked up, it was this man. His criminal history was a mile long and got progressively worse with his age.
Kent was the center of one of the largest photo exchanges STK had ever seen. Where Kent was getting the photos was unknown, but almost nightly he would post several hundred photographs to the dark web, and many of the children were recently missing.
Carter and Matt were digging hard to find his sources, hopefully leading them to the location of the children, but one thing was for sure, they needed to put a stop to what Kent was doing before he gained even more fame in the midst of the dark web and the disgusting creatures who lurked there.
"When you going in?" Bryon asked as he sat down beside Xander.
