Page 73 of Secret
CHAPTER THIRTY
Noam stared at Casper, watching as she ran to the front door and back to him again. It was obvious she wanted to go for a walk. He owed her one. They hadn't left the house in over a week. He'd been too lost in his own mind to worry about her. Other than going into the backyard to toss a ball, he'd all but left her on her own as he sulked around the house.
"Okay, you win. We can go for a walk." He forced himself off the couch. "Let me change clothes and we'll go."
As if pushing him to hurry, Casper raced to the bedroom.
He followed, pulling his shirt off as he walked. "We better get something to eat while we're out. I don't think I have anything but frozen burritos left in the freezer." He hadn't had the motivation to do much of anything.
He'd quit his job the day after he'd talked to Kasey. He just couldn't do it. It would be too hard to work the cases and know that Kasey was the one he should be investigating.
It wasn't a huge loss. He hadn't been happy at work for a long time, and the cases were starting to get to him.
The two girls who had been kidnapped were brought home, thanks to Kasey and whoever he worked with. He was happy the girls had been found, but when he'd seen them, he realized that being home wasn't going to be all happy and joyful. The girls were traumatized, scared of everything. He'd expected to witness a happy reunion, but the only tears had been ones of fear as the girls huddled together, not daring to even hug their parents.
Noam thought about Faith, and how she must have been the same way when she'd come home. He remembered Kasey saying something about her just starting to be able to hug him. All this time, he'd thought he was making everything better when he found the kids and reunited them with their families, but that wasn't true. Yeah, the kids were home, and better off than they had been before, but they were far from okay.
They still didn't have any leads on the missing boy other than the papers that had shown him as sold. While the paperwork had turned up several leads, the young boy kidnapped from the playground hadn't been one of them. Noam was helpless to bring the child home to his family, and that had been the final straw. He just couldn't do it anymore.
He pulled on his sweats and grabbed a clean shirt as Casper jumped around him. "Okay, okay, I said we'd go." He glanced in the mirror, running his fingers through his hair. He had no one to impress.
After putting the leash on Casper, he headed outside, pausing to lock the house and stick his keys into his pocket. "Where are we going?" He let her take the lead. One direction would be the park, the other would weave them through neighborhoods. He didn't care either way. There was fast food in both directions and that would be good enough to tide him over until he got to the grocery store.
Casper turned toward the park, leading Noam down the sidewalk as she stopped to sniff everything she could reach. He let her take her time. He had nowhere to be. The afternoon sun felt good against his skin. He hadn't left the house in days, and the fresh air was probably doing him more good than Casper.
So much had changed over the last few months, and he was struggling to decide what he wanted to do with his life. With his training, he could find work easily, but nothing called to him. He wanted something that would give him the fulfillment that being a cop used to give him. He'd even thought about going back on patrol and giving up being a detective, but that wouldn't keep him from seeing the crime scenes, hide the evil in the world from him. No, if he wanted change, he needed something different. He wanted to feel as if he was making a difference.
Pausing for the red light, he looked around, taking in the view of the park across the street and a group of kids playing near the water fountain. Would he ever be able to look at kids again and not do a risk assessment on how in danger they were? Could he go back to his days of naivety where the world wasn't a dark place waiting to pounce on the unaware?
"Come on." He gave Casper a gentle tug as the light changed.
Seeing the park, she picked up her pace, forcing him to walk faster. Guilt hit him again for keeping her in the house so much over the last few weeks. Though, she did enjoy having him home more.
He sighed as they hit the park and started to walk down one of the paths. He let her weave from tree to tree, getting her fill of whatever she was smelling. He laughed at her as she tried to chase a bird, only to have the leash pull her to a stop. "You're not here to chase birds." He smiled as she glanced up at him.
They continued to walk, working their way toward a hot dog stand that was on the other side of the park. It would tide him over for dinner, and then tomorrow, he'd get his lazy ass up and head to the store.
Casper suddenly started to run, pulling hard on the leash, refusing to give as he tried to hold her back. He glanced up to see what she was after, and his breath caught. Standing several feet away, staring at him, Kasey wiped sweat from his brow.
Noam swallowed hard. He'd tried so hard to get the image of Kasey's face from his mind. To forget what it was like when they were together. It had been over two months since he'd walked out Kasey's door. He thought he'd moved on, but by the way his chest tightened, and pulse raced, he wasn't so sure.
Noam let Casper lead him closer and smiled as Kasey bent down to greet the dog.
"Hey, girl. I've missed you. You look good." Kasey scratched around her ears.
Was she the only one that Kasey missed? Noam stared at Kasey, taking in the sheen of sweat that covered his skin. He should have known that sooner or later they'd run into each other here since Kasey jogged the park often.
"How are you?" Kasey glanced up at him.
Noam's heart ached as he stared into Kasey's eyes, every memory they'd made together flowing through his mind. "I'm okay. How have you been?"
Kasey shrugged. "I've been better."
Noam nodded, understanding all too well. "How's Faith?"
"She's good. Matt let her join a jump team. They compete with others in the area. She's really taken to it." Kasey stood. "She asks about you."
"Tell her I said hi and congratulations on the jump team. Maybe I'll make one of her competitions some time." Noam shifted from foot to foot.
