Page 93 of Secret
Kasey usually rushed through jacking off in the shower. He didn't like it, didn't want to take the time, but sometimes his body demanded attention. This was one of those times, but for once, he didn't curse his hardness. "Yes, please." He gently thrust his hips, forcing his cock to slide through Noam's fist.
Noam kissed his neck as he wrapped one arm around Kasey's chest, holding them together, while the other hand gripped his cock and started to work it over his length.
Kasey gave in to the need and desire he seldom allowed himself. Noam's fist was different than his own, stroking him strangely, but he found that strangeness nice. He focused on the feel of Noam surrounding him, working his body with Noam's to bring himself closer and closer to orgasm.
His knees shook, but Noam only tightened his hold on him, whispering how sexy he was against his ear.
"Noam…" Kasey's muscles tightened, his balls ached, his spine tingled.
"That's it. Let me see you come." Noam's fingers seemed to curl against his chest.
Kasey gave in to the pleasure, his hips rocking, his stomach muscles tightening, and his breath catching as he cried out. His cock spilled over Noam's fingers, but he didn't stop moving his fist, milking the orgasm from him until all Kasey could do was tremble in his arms.
"So perfect." Noam kissed his shoulder. "You needed that to help you relax."
It was like Noam knew he'd feel guilty after. They hadn't pushed the issue of sex between them. There had been nights when Kasey had taken matters into his own hand in the shower alone, but other than that, there had been nothing, and it had been perfect.
Now, he worried that Noam would think this would need to be a normal part of what they did, but he didn't want that. Once in a while, on nights like this when it just happened, maybe, but he didn't want more. He liked the simple, no pressure relationship they had. Besides, it wasn't fair that he find pleasure when Noam didn't.
He noticed that not once during the whole thing had Noam even started to harden. He'd done what he did solely for Kasey's pleasure and need.
As his breathing started to even out, Kasey turned, wrapping his arms around Noam's neck. "Thank you. You didn't have to do that."
"I know, but you seemed to need it tonight. You told me once when we first talked about it that sometimes in the shower you would…" Noam shrugged. "I was just here to help this time."
"But what about you?"
Noam shook his head. "It will happen someday. The need builds and outweighs the pain, but most days, even just starting to get hard is so painful that it keeps it from happening. The skin is too scarred, too tight. It doesn't stretch like it should. I never fully get hard, which makes it near impossible to come anyway. I get all the pleasure I need from what we already share. Sex isn't something I'm worried about."
"If you ever need—"
"If it happens, I will ask, but I won't need. I have all I could want just holding you."
Kasey nodded. "Thank you."
"Of course." Noam kissed him softly before reaching over and turning off the water. "Relaxed?"
"Yeah, ready to sleep."
"Good, me too." Noam handed Kasey a towel as they stepped out of the shower together.
Kasey dried off slowly. His body drained as he forced himself to brush his teeth. When he turned and followed Noam to the bed, he smiled.
"What?" Noam asked, noticing his look.
"I'm just happy. For so many years I thought I'd have to face life alone. I never thought I'd find anyone who understood me, accepted me. I'd date, but it always came down to sex. I didn't want it, they did. With you, there isn't that pressure. Don't get me wrong. I loved what we did tonight, and I'll probably ask you to help again someday, but I knew while it was happening that you wouldn't expect more. That it was just a sliver of our relationship and not anything that would break us if we didn't do it."
Noam pulled the covers over them, scooting close so he could hold Kasey in his arms.
"From the day we met it's all been different with us. It's been perfect. There is a Yiddish word, bashert, it means destiny or fate I guess would be the closest way to describe it. Jews talk about meeting their bashert. You are my bashert, Kasey. I'm convinced we were destined to meet, meant to be together. Fate or whatever you want to call it brought us together to complete each other." Noam brushed a kiss over Kasey's chin.
"That's beautiful." Kasey turned to face Noam. "I believe that too, because I could have searched a lifetime for someone like you and never found them, but somehow, there you were. Fate or God or whoever put us together, put us in each other's paths."
"I love you." Noam kissed him again.
"I love you too." Kasey eased back against the pillows, wrapping one arm around Noam. As he started to drift off to sleep, he vowed that now that he'd found the one who completed him, he would never let go. Noam was the man he belonged with, the one he would grow old with, the one he was meant to love.
EPILOGUE
