Page 69 of Heal
"How many are we talking?" Parson asked.
"On the team or do you mean pedophiles taken down?"
"Pedophiles."
Beau shrugged. "Hundreds probably."
"How have I not heard about this?"
"The police keep it out of the media. The last thing they want is news getting out that people are getting castrated in their homes. Even if most of the population would cheer the actions of this team, there are those who would panic, make it into something that it's not. Besides, honestly, if you want my opinion, I think the police support what this team does. They are taking down the worst of the worst, and saving hundreds of children from abuse. Faith was one of those children. If it hadn't been for the team, her kidnapper might have never been caught, and who knows what would have happened to Faith." Beau stood up again and moved to stand by the fireplace to the side of the room. "Albert was leaving town at nine the next morning to start a job in Michigan. The team had to act fast. Usually, they take days or weeks of planning, but they couldn't let someone like him leave and start a new job at an elementary school in Michigan."
Parson fisted his hands in his lap. "How do you know all of this?"
This was it. It was where Parson decided if they could continue their relationship or not. It was where he had to decide whether he was going to go to the police with what he knew. At least if he went to the police, it would only be him being arrested. The rest of the team would be safe, because he would never give names. Beau stared right at Parson, watching for his reaction. "Because I'm part of this team."
Parson made a sound that sounded something like a groan as he pressed the ball of his hand to his forehead.
Beau waited, unsure if he should say more or just give Parson a minute to think about what he'd just been told.
Parson dropped his hand, shaking his head. "You're part of this?"
"I am. When I catch unreported abuse cases at the hospital, I let the team know. Then the team can watch for the child on the dark web, or hack into the parents' devices at home and look for images. They try to find out if it's a family member or someone outside the family hurting the child. If there is none, we still follow the child's medical history and try to make sure that the abuse isn't continuing. We do have a source with the police where we can hand over cases that might not call for the team to handle, but need to be looked into."
"So, that is all you do, report the cases to the team?" Parson asked.
"No, I also take care of the team. Injuries happen, they get attacked, people fight back. If one of the team is hurt while out, I'm the one who is there to take care of any medical needs the team might have."
"This happens often?"
"Injuries? A couple times a month, but not all serious. Some are nothing more than stitching a cut hand, but other times it's a bullet wound. It's not like the team members can go to a hospital when they get hurt. Hospitals ask too many questions. If they go in with a gunshot wound, and the cops have a castrated man who says he shot someone, the police would easily put the pieces together." Beau moved back to the couch, this time sitting on the arm.
"Jesus, Beau, how am I supposed to deal with this?" Parson leaned back on the couch.
"I don't know. I can't tell you how to deal with it. I'm telling you about it because it's part of who I am. The team is part of me. I believe in what we are doing. It might sound like a bunch of vigilantes going out and doing this, but I don't see it that way. The system fails. These assholes serve two years for raping a child and get out and do it again and again. When the system fails, the team is there to handle things. We aren't going out after the eighteen-year-old who has a fifteen-year-old girlfriend, we are going after the men who are sixty abusing five-year-olds. We go after the ones selling videos of the abuse, the one's kidnapping and selling young girls and boys as sex slaves. Albert fucked a three-year-old, Parson. How can the team sit by and not do something about that?"
"I don't know what to feel, what to think." Parson leaned his head back on the couch, closing his eyes. "Part of me wants to be thankful there are people doing something, but another part of me is repulsed and disgusted that you're taking matters into your own hands outside the law."
"I understand. This isn't something I can beg you to understand or look the other way on. It's part of who I am, and if we are going to be together, you'll need to understand that when my cell phone rings at one in the morning, I have to go. It's either the hospital calling or the team, either way, I'm needed. I need you to be okay when I have to slip out of our bed and go, and not have you mad that I might be going to the team instead of the hospital."
"Our bed? You act like we're going to be living together." Parson rolled his eyes.
"I was hoping in time we might get to that point. I'm not rushing things. I'm not saying it's going to be tomorrow, but I am fully invested in us. Do you think I'd tell you about the team if I didn't have hopes of a future with you?"
"We've known each other two weeks." Parson sighed.
"And in those two weeks, I feel enough already to know that in two years, I will still want to be with you." Beau stood again. "I know I'm asking a lot of you. Hell, I don't even really know if you feel the same way I do. I get why you're not happy when I talk that way. I do tend to dive in head first and go for it, but I really believe, when you know it's right, you know it's right. If it takes you five years together to get to where I am, then that's okay. If you don't feel like I do at all and it's just sex to you, tell me. I can't force you to feel things. I can't force you to accept everything I just told you. I know there is a chance you'll walk out that door tonight and I won't see you again other than dealing with CPS issues. I know you could take what I just told you and go to the police. I'm laying it all out there for you, Parson, my life, my feelings, my dirty secrets. It's all there."
Parson nodded, but was silent for several minutes.
Beau let him sit and think. There wasn't much more he could say. He'd put it all there for Parson to make an informed decision. There wasn't anything more he could do or say. Either Parson felt something between them or he didn't.
"I need time to digest all this, okay?" Parson looked up at Beau. "I feel the connection between us, I do, but I'm a little more gun-shy than you are. I can't jump in. I'm more the ease in and get my feet wet kinda guy. I need a solid base and we're just getting that started. Now, with this news, I just don't know. I don't know if I can handle knowing when you are gone in the middle of the night, that's what you're doing." Parson held out his hand to Beau.
Taking it, Beau gave it a gentle squeeze. "I'm not going anywhere. I'll be here if you decide we're worth a shot. If you have questions, I'm here to answer them." Beau lifted Parson's hand to his lips kissing it softly. "I'd still like to work on the fundraiser together, and the kids would like to see you, even if that means you drop by when I'm at work if you need to avoid me."
Parson stood, pulling his hand back. "I don't need to avoid you. I don't hate you, in fact, what I feel for you is quite the opposite of hate, but I still need time. It's a lot to digest." Parson gave Beau a sad smile. "For what it's worth, I won't go to the police about this, so don't stress on that. Your secret is safe with me. I just need to decide if I can accept falling in love with a man who's part of all that."
Beau nodded. "Take your time."
