Page 100 of Free
CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT
Jeremy climbed into bed after locking up and turning all the lights off. He smiled as D held the covers back for him. It was almost strange being in his own bed since they spent most of their time at D's house or the team house, but there was something about having D in his bed that he loved. "Hi there." Jeremy scooted closer, curling his body around D's as the blankets settled over them.
"Hi." D kissed him softly. "Feels good to finally relax."
"It does. It's been a long week." Jeremy relaxed against the pillow. They'd said goodbye to Xander and his family earlier in the day, then focused on work the rest of the afternoon, until D had gone out and done a sting with Patrick. "Are you doing okay after all the stuff that went on this week?" He'd decided not to push D to talk about his father, but he needed to know that he was okay. Over the week since Xander had told him, D had barely even mentioned it.
"Yeah, I'm okay. At first, I was pissed at Xander and Carter for hiding things from me, but the more I started to think about it, the more I realized I was kinda pissed at my parents more than I thought I was. Hearing my dad died made me grieve for the childhood that was stolen from me, if that makes any sense."
"It does." Jeremy caressed a hand down his chest. "You said life was good until they started abusing you. Those memories deserve to be acknowledged too. Maybe even mourned a little."
D sighed. "For years, I dreamed of killing my father for what he did to me, then I just sorta refused to think about it anymore. At least that's what I told myself. But after talking about it with you, then hearing that my dad had died, I realized that I never really forgot. I found ways to distract myself from the thoughts. I used sex as a way to block the pain. Finding some guy and fucking was my distraction from dealing with my past."
"And now?" Jeremy asked softly.
"I think I'm going to take Faith's advice and write a letter to my parents. I won't bother sending it to my mom, but I think writing what I feel will be enough. Then I think I'll burn the letter. In a way, representing letting go of the past. For so long, I haven't been able to admit how much it fucked me up. I mean, I wanted to be stronger, be tough enough to handle everything, but the truth is, I was just running from it, refusing to face it. I see that now."
Jeremy brushed a kiss over D's chest. "You'll let me know if you need anything from me?"
"You give me everything I need already. Things I didn't even know I wanted or needed." D wrapped his arm tighter around Jeremy. "How about you? You adjusting okay?"
"Yeah, I am. I still wonder at times what would have happened if I'd stuck it out and gone to trial, but then the fear that it wouldn't have gone my way sets in and I realize I made the right choice coming here. If I'd stayed, even if I'd been found innocent, I wouldn't have met you, and I'd still be working a job where I never felt appreciated or found satisfaction. As much as I gave up, I've gained more. I don't know if I'll ever come to terms with the fact that I killed Chad, but like everything in my life, it's a work in progress." Jeremy traced a line of tattoos on D's chest.
"You know I'm always here for you." D's fingers moved over his spine.
"I know, and I'm here for you. I know together we can face anything. Look at what we've created already."
D laughed. "You mean our little team of castrators?"
"You say it that way and it doesn't sound so sweet."
"Sweet is not a word I'd use for the team."
"No, me neither. Still, I'm proud of what we've accomplished and all that we've done. I know we've only just started, but there is a sense of pride in knowing that we're saving kids, even if not everyone agrees on how we do it." Jeremy closed his eyes. "As much as I enjoy the work we do, I wish we didn't have to do it."
"What would you do if not this?" D asked.
"Feed your addiction. I wouldn't even charge. I'd do it free."
D laughed. "You're doing that anyway."
"Hmm, I am, aren't I? Living the good life then."
"I can't get enough of you." D slid his hand between them, cupping Jeremy's cock, flicking the piercing gently.
"What are you doing?" Jeremy grinned as he started to harden. It didn't take much to turn him on when it came to D, just the thought of sex with D was enough to get him hard, with his hand teasing him, it was impossible not to react.
"Just playing."
"Careful what you play with, you might end up being poked."
D laughed. "I was actually kind of in the mood to do the poking tonight." He traced his fingers over Jeremy's balls, then back farther to his ass.
Jeremy parted his legs, making it easier for D to reach. "You take what you want."
"I want you." D threw the covers off them and rolled so that he was straddling Jeremy.
"You ever thought about getting your nipples pierced?" Jeremy asked as he tugged on them.
