Page 35 of Caged
"But…" He stared at his tented pants. "Why won't it go away?"
"Sometimes they're like that. You can wait it out, or I can leave and you can take care of it yourself." Marshall shrugged. "When it happens to me, I usually just take care of it myself."
Danny wasn't sure how to feel about that. He'd never done anything. He knew from back when it would get hard all of the time that it felt good to touch it, but he was always so scared that Larry would find out. Thoughts of Larry had always caused it to fade, but this time, it wasn't fading."
"How about I leave you alone for a bit and you can take care of it?" Marshall stood.
Danny shook his head. "I can't."
"You can. Just think about someone you find attractive. Someone you've seen on TV recently or something."
It wasn't that easy. Everything sexual made him think about Larry. "I can't. He'll be there. He'll be in my mind."
Marshall frowned. "How do we change that?"
"I don't know. I honestly never thought I'd get hard again." More tears filled his eyes. "I don't want this to happen."
"I don't know how to stop it. It happens to almost every man I know. It's natural and healthy. It's good for your body to have a release from time to time. I get you're scared, and I understand why you might think of Larry when it comes to sex, but what he did to you isn't sex. Sex is something pleasurable. Something that two people do together when they both agree and want to. It's not painful or forced. It's intimate and loving. Someday you'll meet someone and want that closeness."
That was something he couldn't see happening. He closed his eyes, wrapping his arms around himself as he drew his knees up, trying to ignore the still raging hardness that didn't seem to want to fade. It wasn't just the fact that he couldn't see himself able to be with anyone. He just couldn't see anyone wanting him. He was a mess. He'd never be normal like everyone else. The best he could hope for was a good job and a safe place to live, though he wasn't sure anywhere would ever feel completely safe. He imagined he'd always be looking over his shoulder and unable to trust most people.
"How about trying a cold shower? Sometimes that helps," Marshall said softly.
"Yeah, I can try." It was better than touching himself.
"While you shower, I'll go make us some hot chocolate. We can sit on the couch and talk or watch a movie." Marshall gently touched Danny's arm. "Okay?"
"Yeah, thanks." He didn't know how Marshall knew that he wouldn't be able to get back to sleep, but he seemed to. The hot chocolate sounded good, comforting. "I'll meet you out there."
Marshall nodded as he got up and quietly left the room.
Glaring at the way his pants tented, Danny got out of bed. How could he stay hard this long? Thoughts of Larry should have killed any arousal. His fear of intimacy should have had him going soft right away. At least with the cock cage on, he hadn't had to deal with this.
As he made his way to the shower, he wondered why he wasn't embarrassed that Marshall had witnessed the whole thing. He never once thought about hiding what was going on from him, but he probably should have. Marshall couldn't have been comfortable with the situation. Yet, he'd acted like he was. He hadn't made Danny feel ashamed at all. He'd been open and honest, giving him suggestions to help him.
He quickly stripped, pausing a moment to stare at the stiffness between his legs. He hadn't seen himself hard in so long it was strange to see. He was used to the silver metal cage between his thighs, but this, it was thick, hard, and in a way scary. He knew better than anyone how a cock could be used as a weapon, and a part of him hated that he even had one.
He forced himself to look away and turned on the shower to the coldest he thought he could handle. As he stepped under the water, the coldness took his breath away, and he shivered, tempted to back out, but he needed to do whatever he could to get rid of his erection.
He faced the stream, allowing the water to hit his cock directly. It was almost painful, but slowly, taking longer than he wanted, his erection faded.
He breathed a sigh of relief, feeling as if he'd washed away disease. How was he supposed to ever live a normal life again if he couldn't even handle normal everyday things like random erections? Guys dealt with them all of the time. He'd researched it online, along with many other things he'd figured he should know about. Getting hard wasn't a bad thing, but for him, it was terrifying, especially since he'd gotten hard during a dream about Larry. It disgusted him to think that even in a dream, he could find any pleasure in anything Larry did to him.
Danny shut off the shower and dried himself, then slowly changed into a new pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt. He was wide awake and glad that Marshall had offered to sit up with him. He didn't want to be alone. The dream was still fresh in his mind, and he feared going back to sleep would only allow it to happen again.
"Feeling better?" Marshall asked.
Danny didn't miss the way Marshall's eyes quickly went to his crotch before scanning back up to meet his eyes. "Yeah, much. Cold water did the trick after a few minutes." He blew out a long breath. "Sorry I woke you."
"It's okay. I don't mind. I figured it would happen sooner than this. Nightmares I mean. I'm surprised you haven't had more of them." Marshall was on the couch and reached over and slid a mug toward Danny. "This should help warm you up."
"Thanks." He sat down next to Marshall. "I can't remember the last time I had hot chocolate. My mom used to make it for me when I was little and it was snowing outside."
"It's my comfort drink. Something about it just warms you up and makes you feel good," Marshall admitted. "My aunt would try any hot chocolate recipe. She'd put spices in it or mix orange juice in it. I never knew what I was going to get from her. I like mine plain, maybe with a few marshmallows or whip cream, but no real flavor difference."
"I'd like to try others, but I think I'd be like you and like it simple." Danny reached for the cup and blew over it twice before taking a small sip to test the heat. "Mmm, this is good. Thanks."
"Anytime." Marshall took a drink of his own.
