Page 50 of Caged
"My advice is to treat him normal. Don't bring up your jobs, don't dwell on the fact he's a doctor. Just have fun and be two guys just hanging out. Don't clutter the night with stuff that doesn't matter." Rani shrugged. "There's nothing worse than going out on a date and having the other person want to talk about work all night. Be more impressed if he knows the latest baseball stats. Let him take off the doctor's mask for a night and just be one of the guys." Rani smiled.
"Oh shit, that reminds me." Marshall straightened. "I need to order tickets. Talk to you soon?" He glanced at Rani.
"Anytime I'm not at work." Rani grinned.
"Then I'll speak to you in a month." Marshall slapped Rani on the arm then looked at Patrick. "Good luck tonight."
"Thanks." Patrick nodded.
Glad he'd had a chance to talk to Rani about things, he rushed back to the computer. He had two baseball tickets to order, and a whole hell of a lot to think about. He needed to decide exactly what he wanted between him and Danny and just go forward. Worrying about it wasn't going to do anything to help either one of them.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
"So have you thought about going back to school?" Jessica asked Danny as he mixed a bowl of cookie dough.
"A bit, but I'm not sure what I want to do. I need to get my GED first, then I can focus on a career. Marshall and my therapist think I should wait a bit and get used to things before rushing into anything, but I hate feeling as if I'm taking advantage of Marshall and his home. He's been so good to me." Danny turned as the oven beeped. He grabbed the oven-mitt and pulled a chocolate cake out to cool.
"I know Marshall, and I doubt he sees it as you taking advantage of him. From what you tell me, you're helping out around the house, finishing the basement, cooking meals, keeping things clean." Jessica sat in one of the stools at the counter with a glass of ice water.
"You make me sound like a housewife, though in a way, I guess I am doing the same things." Danny spooned the cookie dough on the tray. "I'm trying to set myself small goals so I don't get too overwhelmed. I think my next one is to learn to drive."
"Don't rush that. You haven't had to face Denver traffic yet." Jessica grinned. "Seriously, Danny, how are you? Are you adjusting to things okay? I'm not talking just readapting to living a normal life, but are you able to process the past and the abuse?"
Danny froze, glancing up at Jessica. He hated talking about the past. It was just that, the past. He didn't need to dwell on it. He needed to move forward. "Yeah, I think so."
"So you've talked to your counselor about it?" she asked.
Danny shrugged.
"I'll take that as a no." Jessica sighed. "You have to face the past before you can move on with your future. It's not going to just go away, trust me. I spent years going through counseling and support groups, trying to keep my shit together."
Danny looked up. "You?"
Jessica nodded. "I was raped as a child and left for dead. My brother found me in a shed out back. I was messed up, both physically and mentally. I was in the hospital for a long time. My parents were embarrassed by the whole situation. They never said they blamed me, but I knew they were upset that it happened and threw a roadblock into their perfect lives. You have to trust me, the past is the past, but it can jump right in front of you at any moment and the memories of things can pull you down faster than you think."
Danny set the spoon down to give his full attention to Jessica. "But it happened to you as a kid, right?"
"Shit like that doesn't leave you. I still wake up screaming sometimes. It doesn't matter how long ago it was." She softened her gaze. "Are you having nightmares?"
"A few." Danny shrugged. "But I had them when I was being held too. They're nothing new."
"You need to face the past, Danny. You can't just brush it under the rug. Not only did you go through a lot, but you witnessed others being abused too. That's a lot of heavy shit on your shoulders. Then to get free and find out your mother's gone and you're on your own. That's enough to break anyone." She reached across the counter, putting her hand over his. "Have you looked into where your mom was buried or anything?"
Danny pulled his hand away and went back to scooping cookie dough. "It doesn't really matter, does it?"
"Doesn't it?" Jessica asked.
Danny didn't want to talk about his mother. She'd given up on him, taking her own life instead of trying to find him. He'd wanted nothing more than to go home to her, but she wasn't there. She'd left him on his own. At times he didn't blame her. He'd been the one to get himself kidnapped, and it had to have been hard on her all those years wondering if he was alive, but then he was pissed off that she didn't keep fighting, trying to find him. She hadn't found proof he was dead, hadn't seemed to care what would happen if he'd suddenly come home again. "What can I do at her grave. She's dead. Nothing changes dead."
"Wow, you really haven't been dealing with any of this, have you?" She sighed.
"What's to deal with? My mom's dead, I was abused, but now I'm free and trying to move forward. It's that simple. I can focus on the past or the future, and I really don't want to focus on the past."
"But if you don't face it, it will haunt you. You can't just shove it into a suitcase and push it to the back of your mind. It doesn't work that way. It always seems to break free. Trust me, I've spent most of my adult life hunting down the men who raped me and trying to find a way to make them pay. It eats at you. It's going to do the same to you, especially since they haven't caught your pedofuck yet."
"Pedofuck?" Danny stared in shock.
"It's what I call the fuckers who abuse children." She shrugged. "It's fitting."
