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On the positive side, a lot of families would be reunited with their kids over the next few days. He hated to think about what kind of problems they might have after their experience, but he hoped there were a lot of people like Katie out there to help them get through it. Hell, maybe he should take Katie up on her offer to talk so he could work out his own demons. After the last few months, he had plenty of them.
Now that the job was done, things could change. He could move out of this shit-hole apartment he'd taken when he'd taken on the new identity. He could pull his nice things out of storage and get another apartment, or hell, maybe even buy a house finally. He wasn't sure if he wanted to stay in California, but there would be time to decide that. It would take time to readapt to his old identity and deal with the fallout and paperwork that he was going to face after this fucked up operation.
Sitting at the old, beat-up kitchen table, he realized how alone he was. There wasn't anyone to call and talk to about all this, not that he could. The things he'd seen would stay with him, and other than the reports he'd have to file, no one would know of the horrible things he'd seen and had to do over the last few months. More than anything, he just wished he had someone to call and be himself with. Someone he could laugh with and talk to. Someone to just call up and let them know he was done with his undercover work and could hang out again.
How had he let his life get so empty? Working undercover had consumed him, and in doing so, he'd never formed any true friendships with anyone. He was always moving, working, playing another role. Usually, one he couldn't risk putting others in danger from being around him.
Frustrated, he poured one more cup of coffee and headed back to the bedroom. He needed a shower. He had no clue if he'd have to report in today. Not contacting his captain went against everything he'd been trained to do, but something in his gut told him his captain was neck-deep in the trafficking ring. He'd wait for Xander's contact to get hold of him and hope for the best. The worst-case was he was fired from a job he already planned on quitting. Still, that left him with a full day of nothing but wait and worry that Trenton made it out alive. He hated hearing any of the hostages died, but he hadn't let himself get to know any of the others. Why he'd been drawn to Trenton didn't make sense. It had to be how unlike the others Trenton had been. He questioned everything, watched everyone. He never looked defeated.
Leaving his coffee to cool on the dresser, he headed into the shower. Maybe he'd go for a run later today and work off some energy. There was no way he was going to sit around the house and just wait for information. It would drive him crazy. He needed to keep busy.
As he showered, he thought more about his sins over the last few months. No, he'd never raped anyone, and he'd done his best to treat them with respect without giving away he was undercover, but he still had been compliant in so much under the vise of doing his job. Where was that line of right and wrong? It felt as if he should be facing charges for the horrors everyone being held had gone through. Thank God, he hadn't worked upstairs and had to witness so much more. He felt for the officer who had that job. Then again, maybe everyone but him was involved. He couldn't have been the only one speaking out, looking for this all to end, could he? It sure felt like he had been. Even in brief meetings with the others, they seemed fine with the delays and letting things go on for a few more months. None of them had argued when extensions were discussed, but he had.
God, it was so frustrating. He hated not having answers. Not knowing what was going on. He was glad Xander had called to warn him, but he was almost tempted to show up at work this morning just so he could have an idea what was going on. It was the thought of hours of interrogation that kept him from doing that.
As he stepped out of the shower and towel-dried his hair, he decided a run was exactly what he needed. Pulling on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt, he locked the house and started to run down the sidewalk. He'd head to the park about a mile down the road, then run laps around it until he was so tired, he couldn't think about his sins anymore.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Faith stood as a doctor walked into the waiting room. She waited just a moment to make sure he wasn't looking for one of the other two families sitting there, then approached. "Did you just operate on a John Doe?" She held up her camera. "Was this him?"
The doctor took her phone and looked closely at the picture. "Could be. Did this man have any other identifying marks we could compare?"
Faith's hope grew. "A nine-inch scar down his right calf muscle from crashing his bike into a metal grate. He also has a small scar on his forearm from an old dog bit when he was younger."
Matt stepped up beside her. "Also a small tattoo of a dagger on his right shoulder blade."
"He does?" Faith turned to face her father. "How come I never saw it?"
"Because he doesn't show it to many people. I happened to walk in when he was changing shirts one day and saw it. He was very uncomfortable about me having seen it and said it was a story he didn't share with anyone." Matt looked at the doctor. "Is it him?"
The doctor gave a single nod. "From what you've told me, we can assume it is."
"How is he?" Xander came up behind Faith, placing a hand on her shoulder.
"You're his family?"
"Yes," Faith answered immediately, she wasn't about to play this whole game of patient privacy. If they did that, she'd have to wait for Beau to get there to hear anything and he was busy at Children's Hospital dealing with things she didn't even want to think about. "I'm his sister. My brother will be here later to join us. The rest of these guys are as close as family to him." She waved her hand at the group.
The doctor nodded. "The patient came in with two bullet wounds, one to the shoulder, the other to the thigh. The shoulder was a clean in and out, but the thigh did quite a bit of damage. He lost a lot of blood and it was touch and go for a while. We've managed to repair both wounds and gave him some blood. He's malnourished and dehydrated, has severe bruising over many parts of his body, and a gash across the back of his head that took a couple of stitches. Right now, he's in recovery, then we will move him upstairs to a room."
"Can we see him?" Matt asked.
"That will be up to hospital security. I was informed he is included with several other patients who will have guards on their rooms. You'll have to talk to them to see if visitors are allowed."
"I'll clear it with Jason and make sure you're all on the list, but they may limit the time you are allowed in there and how many can go in at a time," Noam said as he walked into the room.
"Noam." Faith met him first and hugged him.
"This is your brother?" The doctor asked her.
"No, another friend." She smiled as she stepped aside so Kasey could get to Noam. "They all work together."
"Your parents?" The doctor asked.
"Both passed." She let her voice dip a little as if it hurt to talk about them. Truth was, Trenton never mentioned them. He only mentioned his brother.
"You work with the police?"
