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"Perfect. No one would question us once they know our shared love for cheese." Ben rested his chin on Trenton's shoulder. "I hate why we met, but I'll never regret that we met."
"Same." Trenton looked around. "Crowds are growing. "Can we go home?"
"Sure." Ben took Trenton's hand. It was slow progress, but he knew full healing would take time. "Let's go home."
CHAPTER THIRTY
Faith glanced across the backyard to where Ben was talking to Noam. She loved these nights where they all gathered and spent the evening acting like they didn't battle the darkness in the world. It was good to get away from the team house and act like normal people for a change.
"You ready for school to start back up?" Trenton sat down beside her.
"It will be good to get back, but I miss you guys when I'm there." She hated that she'd chosen a school so far away, even if it was the best choice for her.
"Maybe once things settle down a bit here, Ben and I will fly out and see you. We've talked about traveling a bit." Trenton nudged the toe of his shoe against hers. "It will be good to see what kind of trouble you're getting into there."
"Who has time for trouble? Once classes start, I'm so tired I don't even have time to think about trouble, let alone get into any." She nodded toward Ben. "So things are going good for the two of you?"
"Really good. We're taking it day by day, but he's amazing. I can't imagine having to do this without him. We're taking things slow, but I think that's what we both need right now."
Faith nodded. "You mean sex?"
Trenton shrugged.
"For a long time, I was too young to really worry about what would happen when I was faced with that, but now that I'm older, I think about it more. I've dated, kissed a few guys, even made out a bit, but I haven't been brave enough to…" Her cheeks heated.
"Good. I'd have to kill a guy if he touched you. Of course, I'm sure Xander would beat me there to kill him."
Faith waved her hand. "You guys really are overprotective."
"That's not a bad thing." Trenton grinned. "But I know how you feel. Ben and I aren't pushing the sex issue either. I'm scared I'll freak out and ruin things between us. I still have nightmares sometimes."
"So do I. They don't always go away." She stared down at her shoes. "I was really young when it all happened to me, so I don't know if it's different in how our minds deal with things. For me, the rape was all I knew. I had no good experiences to compare it to, so in my mind, sex is painful and nasty. You've had good experiences, so maybe if you focus on those instead of the rape, it might make things easier for you to move forward." She was sounding more like Katie every day. Maybe she should have gone into psychology instead of medicine. "If he's okay with taking it slow, then there's nothing wrong with waiting until you're ready."
"He's amazing." Trenton stared across the yard at Ben.
Faith was glad they had each other. She'd worried Trenton would withdraw and hide in his apartment, which if it hadn't been for Ben, was exactly what he would have done. She still saw moments when he was tense or nervous, but Ben seemed to know when to be there, and a simple caress or whisper helped calm Trenton down before a panic attack set in. "You're not coming back to the team, are you?"
Trenton looked surprised. "Have they all been discussing that?" He looked around the yard at the rest of the team members.
"Not really. I mean, I heard Dad and Xander talking, but not the whole team. I think everyone expects you won't be back though. I mean, if you think about it, you've got the worst part of the job. You and Dad. You both sit, going through videos and searching out the abusers. You see and hear things I don't even want to imagine. That's hard enough for anyone, let alone someone who's been on the receiving end of the abuse." She shivered and wrapped her arms around herself. "I could do Xander's job, but not yours. It would be too much."
"Well, you're right, I'm done. I won't be back. I know it will leave them shorthanded, but I just can't bring myself to even attempt to do it. I know it would be too much. Besides, I'm tired. I was burning out long before I was taken. I've known for a while it was time for a change, I just never really knew what that change would be. Now, while I still don't know what I want to do, at least I have someone by my side to help me explore ideas."
Xander walked up and put a hand on Faith's shoulder. "You getting all the info from him to share with us later?"
Faith batted Xander's hand away. "I'm not your mole. Dig for your own info." She smiled up at him. As annoying as he could be, she loved Xander as if he really was her other father. He'd been amazing in helping her through the struggles in her life and stepping in so her dad didn't have to get involved in some of the more personal stuff. For some reason, Xander was just easier to talk to.
"If you're all wondering about my future plans, I don't really have any." Trenton shrugged. "I won't be returning to the team. I do know that much. It's more than I can handle. I was just telling Faith how burned out I was before, but after this, I just can't go back."
Xander took a seat beside them. "And everyone will understand that. We've been talking about either scaling back the number of stings we do or hiring new and younger people to come in and take over. We're all getting to the point we want to be home with our families more. Beau and Kasey want to be home more with their kids. I can't blame them for that. Carter is on the east coast more than here. Bryon and Becca are both talking more about easing back and doing some traveling. I think it's time for the whole team to reevaluate."
"It's hard not to feel like it's my fault everything is changing." Trenton sighed.
"It's not. You said yourself you were feeling burnout before it happened. I think we all have been. The passion isn't there. The drive to take all these motherfuckers out is still strong, but the energy level needed just isn't what it used to be. We're getting old. I mean, this shit was easy when we were in our thirties, but now…" Xander laughed. "We're old."
"Speak for yourself." Beau walked over. "How you feeling?" His gaze went to Trenton's shoulder, then leg, both of which were covered by his clothing.
"Okay. No issues." Trenton smiled. "Was just talking to Faith about all the trouble she has planned when she gets back."
