Page 186 of Keeping Kasey
Just yesterday, I was certain that leaving as soon as possible was my only option, but now it doesn’t seem so black and white. Everything I told Logan last night is still true—we don’t trust each other, and that won’t change just because we want it to.
And staying would mean telling Loganeverything.
Before last night, I wouldn’t have even considered it, but Logan’s embrace had a particularly calming effect on me. A dangerous one that made me question everything.
Then, for him to hold my hand through the base, kiss me so openly, and leave me alone in the office, I can’t help but wonder what thingscouldlook like. What if we really could trust each other again?
Is there a world where I wake up beside Logan every day? Where walking through the base hand in hand is a regular occurrence and not a novelty that attracts the attention of every passerby?
Could I stay here?
I don’t know what I want more: to fall into Logan’s arms or to run for the hills and never look back.
My deepest desires, or my most basic instincts.
The warring thoughts fade as I pull the rolling chair to the desk. Like every time I get behind the keyboard, everything else disappears. It’s a merciful reprieve that I fully embrace.
Throwing myself into work has always been the only sure path to peace. It’s therapy—if therapy means ignoring your problems instead of confronting them.
It’s also working like a charm.
The last test run finishes in half the time I anticipated, and when the results come up instantly, I realize that my time here is much shorter than I thought.
The Seeker is ready to recover the list.
Which means my work here ends today.
For a moment, all I can do is stare at the screen.
I knew I was close, but I was expecting at least afewbugs from today’s test that would take me a little longer to work out. I guess I should be impressed by my own work, but instead, I just feel numb.
It’s not only my feelings for Logan that I have to sort through, but also my plan for getting away without drawing the attention of the mystery caller.
Since Logan gave me my phone back last night, I’ve been waiting with dread for them to call again, but no one has.
It’ll be a headache to stay hidden from an enemy I don’t even know, but I don’t plan to stay in the country, and I can’t imagine they’ll care to follow me past the border.
Or I could tell Logan everything and let him protect me…
Putting all my chaotic feelings aside, I set up the Seeker to find and retrieve the list. I meticulously check each program within the software—the deep scan algorithm, fragment reconstruction engine, disc sector analyzer, and binary pattern detector. I double, then triple-check them, but when an hour has passed, there’s nothing left to do but turn it on.
As the Seeker works to recover the list, I decide on the perfect way to pass the time. But when I pull up the Pac-Man program to reread messages for old times’ sake, it’s empty.
Of course, he deleted the messages. I shouldn’t be surprised.
Recovering them takes no time at all—they weren’t embedded in a highly encrypted communications program. As soon as they’re rendered, I open the program and settle in for a walk down memory lane to distract myself.
But these aren’t just our old messages.
There are dozens of new ones.
All from Logan.
They start the day I left, and several short messages follow in the days after.
Logan:Enjoy your freedom while it lasts. I am going to take everything from you.
Logan:There is nowhere you can go that I will not find you.
