Page 399 of The Hallmarked Man
He listened to her footsteps and debated following her, and was still standing there, undecided, when he heard her coming back up the stairs, and when she rounded the corner of the stairs she looked flushed and angry, but Strike, who believed a woman who had no feelings for him deeper than friendship would have been slamming the street door at this moment, suddenly knew hope.
‘You’ve had ages,’ said Robin, who was now shivering with anger. ‘Years.I was single. I was free. Every single time we got – even slightly close to – you pushed me away and went off screwing other women.’
‘Not lately,’ said Strike.
‘No, because it was safe to push the boundaries, now I’m with Ryan!’
‘You think I’ve been pissing around for my own amusement, do you?’
‘Maybe,’ said Robin, tears of fury now brightening her eyes. ‘Telling meCharlottethought you were in love with me – what was I supposed to say to that? You’ve just been trying to make up your mind what you want – you’ve hadyears,’ she said, her voice rising, ‘and you saidnothing!’
‘I was scared of fucking it up, fucking everything up—’
‘The agency, it’s always—’
‘It wasn’t just the agency, it was this,us, the friendship—’
‘Well, I’m still your friend, so you needn’t—’
‘I don’t want to be your fucking friend,’ said Strike, his own voice rising now, ‘that’s what I’m fucking telling you. I’m in love with you. Everyone else can see it, why can’t you?’
‘And you expect me to just throw away a two-year relationship, so I can be the latest woman you get bored with after a couple of months, do you?’ said Robin, her voice echoing around the stairwell.
‘It’s been seven years and I’ve never been bored. You think I’d be saying this if I just wanted a fuck? I’m not asking you to cheat, I don’t want an affair. I want to be with you. Permanently. Marry me.’
Strike hadn’t expected to hear himself say that. Robin let out something between a laugh and a gasp.
‘You’re – you’re insane,’ she said, numb with shock. ‘You’re literally – you’ve lost your mind. We’ve never so much as—’
‘Easily remedied.’
Strike descended the stairs, and had placed his hands on her upper arms and pulled her towards him when she placed a fist on his chest and pushed him away.
‘No!’ she said, trembling at the contact, and angry at herself for doing so. ‘I’m not that person – I won’t do to Ryan what Matthew did to me!’
‘I had to tell you,’ said Strike. ‘You had to know.’
Robin struggled to find something to say and failed. At last, she turned and hurried downstairs, her heels clattering on the metal, and this time Strike heard her reach the hall, the sound of the street door opening, then slamming behind her.
He stood for a full minute, hoping to hear it open again, but it didn’t.
Fuck.
He turned and, heaving himself along with the aid of the banister, climbed the stairs back towards the second floor, then came to a sudden halt. Pat was standing on the landing.
‘I needed the loo,’ she said defensively.
If Strike had wondered whether his and Robin’s voices had carried through the bathroom door, he didn’t have to wait long for the answer.
‘Don’t worry,’ she growled. ‘I won’t gossip.’
Unable to think of anything to say, Strike walked past Pat into the office and dropped down into her chair. It was a few seconds before he sensed he wasn’t alone and looked up. Pat had followed him.
‘’Course, he’s very good-looking, Murphy,’ she said, in her gravelly baritone.
‘There’s the shot in the arm I needed,’ said Strike bitterly.
‘But she hasn’t seemed happy lately. Not happy at home.’
