Page 62 of The Boyfriend Boycott
“Congratulations,” he says, in a very non-petty way that catches me totally off guard. “You made some good arguments up there. It’s good to have a worthy opponent. I was getting kind of bored of getting my way all the time.”
“Thanks, that’s … gracious of you,” I answer, struggling to find a response. He may have switched gears, but he’s just as cocky. Still, something in his tone sounds … genuine. Almost as if he’s offering me a sliver of respect. I wonder for a moment if my standing up to him is what he’s been waiting for all along.
Our awkwardly long handshake is thankfully interrupted by Mason, clapping a hand on my back and announcing that the first round is on him at Jack’s, whoever wants to join is welcome.
I glance at Spencer, noticing that her attention has shifted and she’s surveying the room, searching for someone.
“Where’s Marla?” I ask, realizing that she’s the only one missing the big moment.
“I don’t know …” Her voice trails off. “She said she was going to the restroom, but that was a while ago.”
Spencer and I leave the hearing room to look for her, and I offer a nod of thanks to everyone standing at the back of the room on the way out. The people who came to offer their support.
“She’s not here,” Spencer says, returning from checking the washroom and the surrounding corridors of the city hall building. It’s an old, two-storey brick building, so there are not that many places to look for someone, or to lose them.
“Did she go outside?” I ask. Spencer shakes her head in response. She lifts her phone to her ear as the line rings and rings on the other end. No answer.“Let’s see if she went back to the house,” I offer.
“I’ll go. You should head to the bar and celebrate with everyone,” she tries to insist, but the concern on her face is enough of a reason not to leave her alone.
“Where you go, I go, Spencer. This is more important.Youare more important. We can celebrate anytime.” I place a hand on the small of Spencer’s back, gently guiding her out of the building and towards the parking lot.
I quickly scan the lot for any sign of Marla, but there is none, and all I can do is hope that she’s back at the house. That she has a reasonable explanation for ducking out early, and we’ll pour a glass of wine and cheers to the success of the council meeting.
CHAPTER 26
SPENCER
My mother isin the drive when we pull the car up, standing with her arms crossed while a man loads her suitcase into a yellow cab. Grady has just enough time to put the car in park before I fling the door open and stride over to where she’s standing. Her eyes go wide with shock at seeing me here.
“Spencer—” she starts, but I immediately cut her off, unable to control the volume of my voice.
“You thought you could just leave?” I ask, but it’s not really a question. Of course she did. Of course she thought that whatever is going on in her life is more important than what’s going on in mine. I’msostupid. Here I was thinking that this time Marla had really changed. How many times do I have to learn this lesson? That it’s only a matter of time before the other shoe drops. “What, did Roy call? Or is it a new guy this time?”
Marla just stares back at me, not wanting to answer. So, one of my assumptions is correct then.
“Roy and I aremarried, Spencer.” She’s using the same voice she used on me as a child, as if I don’t know what it means to be married. Part of me, though, feels like I really don’t. I hardly even know what it means to be in a relationship at all, let alone committed to someone for life. That doesn’t excuse the factthat she’s just up and leaving the way she always has. The way everyone else in my life has, too. “I’ve had some time to reflect, and I think I need to go home and try to fix things with Roy.”
“So, you’re just crawling back to him after he treats you like shit. You’re the same as you’ve always been, Marla. Here I was thinking that you were healing, finally. Seeing that you can have a fulfilling life on your own. That maybe, you’re learning that you don’t need a man to make you feel better about yourself.” There’s a bitterness in my tone that I don’t recognize, but that feels as if it’s making up for all the years I sat quietly and didn’t say anything. “I know I never mattered to Dad, but have I ever really mattered to you?”
“Of course, Spencer. Of course you matter to me. More than anything.” Her voice is pleading, and my heart is threatening to crack. Maybe the story she told at Ally’s had been a lie. How could she say that she wanted me so badly, that we got through the worst moments of her life together, and then do this? “Being married to someone means that you don’t walk away when things get hard.”
“No, it means that if you walk away, you lose half of what you own. That’s what this is about, isn’t it? You’re afraid that if you lose Roy, he’ll take the lake house.” Realization dawns on me and settles deep into my bones. Marla is afraid of the same thing I am. To lose what she’s worked for, the life she’s built for herself. Except in her case, rather than taking a safe approach and going it alone, she’s going back, continuing to rely on someone else for what she needs.
“He would find a way to get it,” she admits. “But that’s not why I’m going back. Relationships take work.”
“Sure. You keep telling yourself that,” I spit back at her. “Look at yourself, Marla. Look at how you allow men to continue hurting you, look at how you allow them to have control over you. Aren’t you tired of it?”
“You don’t have to tell me what I’m like, Spencer. I’m not an idiot. It may not be what you would choose, but it’s better than closing yourself off to love entirely.” Her words land somewhere visceral within me, stirring a question I haven’t let myself ask. Have I closed myself off to love entirely? Is there something fundamental that I’m missing out on? The wise part of my brain answers back,No. That’s what keeps you safe.
“Have you ever stopped to think about what that does to me? How I’ve always had to be the adult in this relationship?” My voice cracks as emotions surge up my throat. Years and years of hurt and pain come barrelling out of me like a runaway train. I’m aware of Grady standing behind me, and I realize I don’t care if he witnesses this, no matter how personal this moment is. It needs to be said, and Grady has already seen the most broken parts of me anyway. “You were never there for me when I needed you, Mom. You say that it was you and me against the world, but it never was. It was always about you. I paid your fucking rent. I found us that apartment when I was in grade eleven. I had to convince the landlord to let me see it because I wasn’t of legal age yet. I did that with my minimum wage job in high school, Mom. Fucking high school.” Tears sting my eyes. I try, and fail, to blink them back, as all of the years of struggle and uncertainty come spilling down my cheeks.She’s the reason I never went to university, the reason I have to fight tooth and nail every single day of my life to earn a living. She’s the reason I’m in the situation I’m in now.
The cab driver stands up out the driver’s-side door now, looking at us over the roof of the sedan.
“The meter is still going ma’am,” he says, as if he’s completely oblivious to the tension in the air.
Grady holds up a hand to him and shakes his head as if to say,not the time, before he digs his wallet out of his back pocket and hands him his credit card to cover the extra time.
“I need to go, Spencer. I’ll miss my flight.” Right there, Marla has made it clear that I will never be a priority for her. No matter what she says, her actions speak a million times louder. My breath wooshes out of my lungs, and my heart would be breaking if it hadn’t gone completely numb.
