Page 114 of It Couldn't Be You
Forty-One
The party was winding down, the sky dark overhead and our bellies full. The laughter was loud. People were saying their congratulations and hugging goodbye.
I couldn’t help but look at Gabriel, who was sitting with his brothers right in my eyeline. I’d been trying my best to avoid gawking at his table throughout the entire night. Now, hours into the party, I couldn’t help but give in and look right at him.
But he didn’t look back.
It was like that magnet thing between us had been turned off. Or cruelly, only my end was still on like a walkie talkie only picking up static.
I think it’s best we don’t,I’d typed on the plane. But I’d also written,right now.
I considered marching over to his table and saying, “I only meant we should wait to talk about it untillater.”
I knew Gabriel. He would say, “Okay, is it later?”Was it later?What did I have to say? All I knew was I didn’t want us to be over. And I wanted him to look at me, for heaven’s sake.
But I couldn’t move from my seat.
Katie was with Terrence’s family most of the night. She was still there, talking with his grandmother. She wouldn’t be free to talk for a while if she was at all tonight. My parents were at another table now, toasting wine glasses with Linda and Ozzy.
I was all alone. I kept watching Gabriel’s table. His brothers seemed to notice. I didn’t care. I felt restless, reckless, and after the proposal party, romantic.
Then Gabe stood up from his table and started to walk toward me. I put my eyes on his and finally he looked back with a resolute glint I sat up straight. As he got closer, I opened my mouth to speak when I felt someone’s hands on my shoulders.
I saw Gabe’s face fall then he gave me a shrug. I turned my head to see who had put their hands on me, to find Jordan standing over me with a big smile on his face.
“Hi, old friend,” he said.
“Hi,” I said distractedly. I looked ahead to see Gabriel had already walked away.
“I feel like we haven’t talked in forever.” Jordan pulled out a chair beside me and sat down.
“We haven’t talked in forever,” I said. “It’s good to see you.”
“I’ve seen how you’ve been writing a lot lately—the articles you’ve shared online and you’ve been traveling. I saw you posting in California. Emma the Jetsetter, who knew?”
“Yeah, I got hired to write a piece on a town in California.” I sat back in my chair. “It was beautiful. I’ve been stretching my writing wings. What about you? How’ve you been?”
“I’ve been good,” he said, hunching closer toward me. “I’ve been really good. Things are really falling into place. My business is taking off to a good start. I got that house I wanted. I’ve been renovating it. I’m doing well.”
“I had no doubt things would fall into place for you, Jordan.”
“I know,” he said, his voice catching. “I thought I’d be broken for a while. But I see now what you meant about how I was just dragging you along to my own plans. I realized that my plans, my life, didn’t change much after we broke up. I look back and see you didn’t have much input, and part of that was you—”
“That’s true. I didn’t have much vision for the future to pitch.” I shrugged softly.
“But I see a lot of that was me, too. I could’ve asked. I could’ve just…noticed. I think, in comparison to, uh, other relationships, when you’re reallyforsomeone they don’t have to tell you what they want, or what isn’t right, all the time. When you know someone, sometimes that speaks for itself. With us, I never didknowwith you, did I?”
“You’re right. But to be fair, I didn’t alwaysknow with myselfeither.”
He just nodded, waiting for me to continue.
“I’m sorry, again, for how I broke us up. I regret it. I’ve been learning how my fears don’t only hurt me, and I am so sorry you, and your family, were along for one of my lessons.”
“I forgive you, Em. That day sucked. It hurt, not going to lie. But in the end, we needed to break up.” Then he added, “But thank you for some really good memories when we were together.”
I smiled gently at him. “Thank you, too, Jordan.”
Then he cleared his throat and shuffled his feet nervously. “I also wanted to tell you so you hear it here first. Um, I’m back with Sophie.”
