Page 115 of It Couldn't Be You
“I kind of figured that one out, Jordan,” I admitted. Then, I bumped my shoulder into his with a little smirk. “I’m happy you’re happy.”
“I am happy,” he said. A couple of little kids ran by our table squealing delightedly.
“I ran into Sophia at her dad’s garage months ago. Did she tell you that?”
“Yeah, she did.” his eyes twinkled.
“I felt like she was kind of happy to find out I was single. I picked up on a vibe.”
Jordan let out the big-hearted laugh I knew so well. “It was meant to be,” he said. Then, it was quiet for a bit. It was an opening for me, but I didn’t take it so he added, “I know you’ll find your meant to be someday, Emma. I’ll be cheering you on.”
“Thank you,” I said, my voice small.
He gave my shoulder a little squeeze as he left. I was sitting alone at my table again. The party was significantly smaller. Terrence and Katie were slow dancing a few steps away from the rest of us under the blanket of stars. As a party, we had decided to give them their space.
I looked around for Gabriel. Everyone else in Katie’s family was sitting together talking, but no Gabe in sight. I stood up from my seat. I craned my head to see, still unable to find him. But his presence lingered like smoke after a firework show. There I stood, alone, waiting for Gabriel to come back.
But he never came back.
Forty-Two
Tanya
Hi I’ve added all of you to Katie and Terrence’s wedding party thread
Katie
Buckle up, guys, it’s time for wedding planning to begin
Victor
God help us all
The next day, I had an early shift at the coffee shop. I frothed milk, plated scones, and watched the door hoping for my favorite customer. But he never showed. Every mocha I made that wasn’t for Gabriel broke my heart.
I had wrapped my hand so tight around “the way things were,” completely terrified of losing it, fracturing it, of it even looking a shade different. But as I looked around the coffee shop, feeling the lack of Gabriel, feeling the weight of secrets kept from Katie, I had to admit to myself…things had already changed.
I was fooling myself that I could keep it perfectly preserved, and I was especially foolish to imagine it had been preserved at all. As I sipped my own mug full of caramel, frothy oat milk, and espresso, I could see a new picture replacing the fractured image I wanted to keep.
A picture of what could be. A life that could be. Gabe and I walked hand in hand into this shop. Katie’s hugged the both of us, saying, “How long are my brother and sister here for this time?” We set our laptops on the same table to write. Ah, a future where we have so many writing afternoons like in Cambria. My kids called Terrence and Katie’s kids “cousin.”
And what was so scary about that?
Ileft work late that day. I drove through my downtown, shops locking their doors and streetlights clicking on. This tiny town of mine that I loved so deeply, the axis my whole world spun around. My safe house in adulthood. But my sweet safehouse felt like reality was creeping in through cracks in the sidewalk.
I wasn’t entangled in a messy relationship with Gabe, but I was still crying in my car. You could run home, ignore the emails, and close the hotel room door in his face, but chaotic, persistent, messy life found a way.
I was at a stop light, my foot on the break, and I knew in my bones that I would have to tell Katie everything eventually. Though, it was hard enough to track her down for a conversation right now. There was no hiding what happened in Cambria. Another crack.
I hit the gas, but my eyes skimmed right over my mom walking out of an antique store. I pulled my car into a nearby parking space. I scrambled out of my car and pounded down the sidewalk to keep up with her.
“Mom!” I called out.
She turned to me, surprise in her eyes. “Hey, honey.”
As her eyes took me in concern furrowed her brows. She reflexively opened her arms to me, the way she had since I was a one year old and toddling her way. I walked straight into them.
I weaved my body into hers, an eternal knit between us. A hug we’d mastered for twenty-some years now. She patted my back, and I started crying.
