Page 117 of It Couldn't Be You
“I don’t know where anyone is except Gabe. Gabe flew out this afternoon.”
“Flew out? Where? Why?” I could hear the desperation in my voice. I hoped it didn’t carry over the phone.
“He’s going to be in Seattle for a while. He said he wanted to get away and clear his mind—his words, not mine. Plus, he’s meeting with his agent about his book.” Katie was speaking muffled into the phone, trying to keep her voice down in the restaurant. “But I honestly don’t know where anyone else is. Maybe my parents went to dinner? Sorry. Did you need something?”
“Oh, it’s okay,” I said, my voice breaking.Gabe was gone. “It wasn’t important. I was just wanting to talk to Gabe about something.”
“I can’t believe he didn’t tell you he was leaving. Lately, I felt like you two talked almost more than you and me. If I were you, I’d give him a call.”
“Sure. I’ll do that. It’s my bad for driving out here without checking in with anyone first. Go enjoy dinner with your fiancé,” I said, tears falling onto my steering wheel.
“Oh, I shall,” she said, and I could almost hear her wiggling her shoulders
I hung up with Katie and immediately clicked on Gabriel’s contact in my phone. I could call him. I could text him. But Katie said he wanted to clear his head.
I was tired of being that little girl standing by the pool, worried that maybe she’ll get wet. Maybe she’ll get hurt. Maybe she’ll break. Maybe she’ll regret it. Maybe her tiny, safe little world will spin right off its axis, and she won’t be able to get it back quite the way it was before. Maybe, maybe, maybe.
On impulse, I clicked the “call” button. It went to voicemail.
While tears burned my eyes, I typed up a message.
Me
hi, I know you’re clearing your mind. I just wanted to talk. Let me know when you’re ready.
Forty-Three
Me
Got big plans tonight?
Katie
Nope. Closing the shop, might be a little late because Rose wants to talk. Then Canada Man is in Canada the next couple nights, so I’m going home to watch the Bachelor and stuff my face.
Me
I might stop by the shop to say hi
Katie
Come on over!!
When I returned from Cambria, I felt like I was hiding some big secret from Katie. Which, well, I was. She kept asking about the trip, and I would get all nervous and twitchy, and she’d look at me funny.
Katie would say things about Gabriel leaving like, “I wonder why he needed to ‘clear his head’ so suddenly. What do you think, Emma?” I took it as a personal inquiry into my relationship with Gabriel.
“You know Gabe, his head’s always all stuffy,” I literally said that at one point. Katie just nodded, like Gabe’s headwasalways stuffy, wasn’t it?
Any mention of Gabriel and I felt guilty, like a puppy caught with food straight from the table. Katie wouldn’t dig much deeper, thankfully. She was too preoccupied with wedding planning since she and Terrence kept saying they wanted to get married as soon as possible. When people would ask, “How soon is soon?” They’d answer like they’d rehearsed it—and I do think they rehearsed it—“Soon, like we wish we’d gotten married yesterday.”
And she was juggling the mounting tasks at work. That was another weird unspoken thing between us. Work was stressing her out, and I couldn’t get her to communicate what exactly about work was making her so anxious. We were in two different worlds spinning around one another but never quite syncing up. I understood, but I also wanted to sync back up.
When I knew she was closing the shop late, and I had a free night, too, I picked up some of our favorite snacks and headed over. I was ready to hear everything bugging her about work and talk out all the wedding details. I was also ready to spill everything about Gabe and me. Bracing myself for any and all reactions. Writing messages in my mind alerting Gabe thatKatie knows.
The dusk air was humid and hot. I jogged from my car, the door ringing over my head as I walked inside. My hands were trembling, nervous about the confessions I was about to make.
Katie was behind the counter when she looked up at me. Her eyes were rubbed red from crying.
