Page 19 of It Couldn't Be You
She took in a deep breath. “Oh, God.”
“I couldn’t say yes, Katie. I don’t think I could say yes today, or tomorrow, or next year, or decades down the road. I love Jordan…but I don’tloveJordan. I love Jordan like you love someone you hug at the end of a really great night with friends, but not the way you love someone who you’re going home with afterward. He’s just not it. I think I was realizing it the past few—”
“I want to hear your epiphany, Em, I really do, but this isn’t the time. Right now is proposal time, and it all kind of depends on you. You have to get back out there, champ.”
I started sobbing again like a little kid being told it was time leave to Grandma’s. But I was being told I had to leave the guest bathroom and the fuzzy rug I’d covered in snot and tears.
“Emma, you just have to go out there, pull him aside, and then explain to him you’re sorry but it’s going to beno. Then just run out to your car and drive home ASAP.”
I was quiet.
“Are you there?”
“I’m here,” I whispered. “I just wish I wasn’t here.”
“But, hon, you are. The longer you hide out, the worse it’s going to be.”
“It’s awful no matter what… I can’t tell him yes, then take it back. I’d be lying, and he’d have to tell everyone about it after I took it back. But I also can’t march out there and tell him thanks but no thanks in front of his whole family…”
“Just pull him aside.”
“They’ll know what’s going on…” I imagined them staring at me as I asked to speak to him alone—their eyes on me. His perfectly sweet mom watching me with sadness in her eyes. His dad cringing at the piano. I rubbed my forehead.
“Probably, they’re already expecting a big ole rejection since you locked yourself in the bathroom.”
I lay flat on my back, sprawled out on the floor. “Katie, I know Jordan. He is going to try and argue with me on this. He’ll try to get me to change my mind. He’ll want to talk this out for hours. He’ll want my reasons; he’ll want to talk me out of my reasons. He’ll ask me to take some time and think on it. I’m going to have an hours-long breakup with him at his Uncle’s.”
“Could you ask him to go on a drive or something?”
“Driving around while I dump him is not the safest choice.”
“True,” she conceded. “You have the options you have, Emma. I think you’re just looking for a way out that doesn’t exist.”
I glanced over to the ill-placed window across from the toilet.
“There is another option,” I said, my heart racing.
“I’m listening.”
“I break out of here.” The window opened to the front of the house.
“How?” She asked as I estimated just how high I would need to hoist myself up to crawl out.
“There’s a window.”
“Do you even have your car keys with you?” I could hear the panic in her voice.
“I have my over-the-shoulder bag on. I was kind of just awkwardly wearing it around the whole time since I didn’t know where anyone was placing their purses.”
“Emma’s awkwardness coming in clutch.”
I walked over and slid the window open easily, like a ring that fit just perfectly.
“Hold on while I climb out.”
I heard a muffled Katie yell at me from the other end of the phone, but it was already in my purse. I hoisted my body over the windowsill and dropped to the other side. Then I ran down the rocky gravel road to my car like a prisoner set free. I got behind the wheel, breathless. I didn’t waste a moment, starting my car and hitting the gas almost simultaneously. Dust crackled under my tires. Relief flooded down my cheeks in hot steamy tears as I sped off.
“Emma?” Katie called from my phone. I scrambled into my purse with my right hand and shakily attached my phone to my car’s USB.
