Page 37 of It Couldn't Be You
So, of course, I started overthinking which books to bring over to Gabriel, whom I felt awful for, but also secretly, guiltily, felt elated he would be only miles from me for a little while.Was it bad to see the silver lining?I built a little book stack for him over the next few days.
And once Gabriel arrived safely at home, I left work with Gabe’s get-well stack of books plus an assortment of cookies and cupcakes.
“You are a hero,” he said as I set the box of sweets in his lap. “A true hero.”
“Truly,” Victor said, sneaking a cookie out of the box. Gabriel shoved him out of the way. Both of them in sweatpants and tee shirts laid-back on the couch.
“How are you doing?” I asked, sitting down beside Gabriel.
“I’m pretty medicated, so that helps with the pain some, which has been pretty bad,” he said. “But I’m kind of in a state of shock. With the change of plans, change ofworkplans, being on crutches for a while, medical advice to not do things I do like travel, hike, climb, you know, things I often do for a living. I’m kind of reeling from all that.”
“You should’ve seen how bad it was when we were out there, though,” Victor said somberly. “The fact you’re going to get better at all is pretty amazing.”
“I know,” Gabriel said, his voice smaller than I’d ever heard it before. “I know all that. I’m grateful.”
“I’m sure you’re grateful, Gabriel. Noticing the crappiness of the situation doesn’t make you any less grateful.” I said the last part tenderly.
Victor selected another cookie.
“Thanks, Em,” Gabriel said sincerely, then to Victor, he said, “You know, she brought those for me.”
“You can’t eat all of these. There’s like a dozen cookies,” Victor said through a mouthful.
“But the medicine is helping with the pain?” I asked.
“Yeah, it is. I’m trying to not take anything too intense, though. My doctor worked it all out for me,” he said. “But, man, it hurts. When it first happened, I think I was in shock at first, and it was when I was trying to shake it off and keep going that the pain just seared. It was the worst pain I’ve ever felt. I realized I couldn’t shake it off. I couldn’t even move. I can’t imagine if I was out there alone.”
“I’m glad you weren’t out there alone. I know for your first book you were out there alone a lot.” Since I got the call about his accident from Katie, I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about how so often for writing he’d venture out alone.
His first book was literally about traveling alone, young and fresh out of college—part memoir, part handbook. It was completely different from what he’d been writing at work. It was meant to be an escape for him, but instead, it became a new career direction. After his book received some success, he wrote a lot of pieces for big magazines covering solo trips and adventures. Solo.
I knew Gabriel and how he was probably already itching to get back out there. Now, whenever I knew he was on a solo trip, I’d be praying every other minute.
“I always knew this kind of thing was a risk. I’m just lucky I wasn’t alone this time…” he trailed off. “I do think I still would’ve been found and helped if I was alone. Don’t get all worried on me, Em.”
“Mom and the girls have already been having all these long talks with him about his future trips.” Victor rolled his eyes.
“Well, they’re not wrong to worry.” My throat was dry.
“Mom always worries,” Victor said.
“What do you say to them?” I asked as a fellow worried woman.
“I told them that I’m not necessarily only writing about adventuring solo anymore. My latest project was about the wildfires. I did have to travel and go out there—but not solo. And it was a lot more research based.” He sighed as he said, “I’m obviously putting any and all adventure on hold for a little while.”
Victor wandered out of the room, leaving Gabriel and I alone on the couch.
“What does the next little while look like for you?” I asked.
He gestured to his bandaged-up leg laid out on the table in front of him.
“Seriously, Gabe.” I urged him to continue beyond broad gestures.
“I’ll be on the mend and laid up for a while. So, a couple of projects that did involve travel are on hold, one of which is being handed over to someone else. Two big projects, actually.” He closed his eyes, shutting out reality for a second.
“You can write from the couch, you know.”
“I write about things I see and do. All I’m seeing is my family. All I’m doing is…” He gestured to his sprawled-out leg again.
