Page 13 of Lucy Loves Him Not
Who does that?
I reminded myself to uncross my arms and smile along as Olivia and Bethany told us whatcould bedone to this place.
Olivia and my mom wound up in the backyard to discuss landscaping while Bethany sent off a text in the kitchen as I mindlessly looked through the cabinets. She finished on her phone dropped it in her back pocket, then headed toward the back door when I trapped her in the dining room and rattled off a long list of questions. She had all the answers. She seemed as big a believer in the bones of this place as Olivia.
“It’s a match made in heaven,” she said as she gave me a little smile. “But I have sisters, too. I know you’ve got to do your due diligence.”
The three of them gathered in the backyard, but I found a spot on the front porch. I wrapped my arms around my knees and looked out at the driveway.
I could see it. All our cars lined up here. Olivia covered in soil as she gardened in the back. The dog she’s been talking about getting for years napping on this very porch. Helping her decorate this house for trick or treaters.
I could see it. She was like a lead in a story and this would be the first pages.
Later that night it was just us two again, Olivia and me, side by side in the kitchen.
“You have to try this ginger sesame cucumber salad I made the other day. We can put it with salmon and rice or something.You’d be proud of me,” Olivia said as she pulled things out of the fridge.
This was the way it had been with us for years—evenings in the kitchen playing music and throwing together dinner. I was often the chef and Olivia the sous chef.
I hadn’t ever stopped to notice how fun this time was. Or how fleeting. Now it was like I was watching something precious circle the drain.
“What’s up?” she asked, her eyes narrowed in concern with a bag of red peppers in her hand. She set them down. “Lucy?”
I couldn’t stop the tears from pooling in my eyes. I sniffled. “Nothing, nothing. Let’s make the salad.”
“Come on,” Olivia said. “You’ve been acting funny since I told you about the house.”
“I want…” I took in a shaky breath. “I want to be happier for you. I do. I’m also just sad for me.”
“I know,” Olivia said. “I could tell. I’m sorry you’re sad.”
“I don’t want to be. But I don’t know, it was so impulsive and fast that you didn’t talk to me beforehand. Now I’m left without my roommate, your share of the rent, and I know you don’t owe me?—”
“I do owe you. I was planning on sitting down and talking through all the rent stuff. I am not going to leave you high and dry.”
“I trust you. I do. I knew you wouldn’t have just abandoned me. I guess I sort of felt abandoned in my heart even if my mind knew it wasn’t true. And I think I could shoulder rent on my own. That was always the eventual plan.”
“It was.” She nodded.
“I’m in shock. Just one day, out of the blue, you have this big old house.” I circled my hand as if indicating something appearing out of thin air.
“Was it that out of the blue, though? You know this was my dream.” Olivia shook her head as if shaking off the notion this was some random decision. “I know it was impulsive. But you know I had been saving up for a house for years. Ryan and I had been planning on getting married and buying an old fixer-upper, and man, I was dreaming of that life. Then…”
I rubbed her shoulder.
“Well, you know. It all fell apart. I lost him and then I lost that dreamy future with an old fixer-upper. Ihadto lose him, I know that now. But then I was sitting in that meeting and all I could think was: why did I have to lose that dreamy future? I was the one saving up. I was the one working for that dream.”
I hadn’t thought about that. I had known and overheard since we were roomies many of their late-night talks about their big plans. I had seen how meticulously Olivia was saving and working for that dream. Her dream.
When they broke up, she was broken. It was a gut punch. She had so much faith in them, in him, in that future.
I hadn’t realized how much she was mourning hercould’ve been.But why couldn’t it still be?At least the parts she could still have.
“So, when there was this perfect opportunity just sitting right beside me—it felt like fate. Like something clicked. Like God gave me a little nudge.” Her green eyes were twinkling.
“I get that. I shouldn’t have rained on your parade,” I said quickly.
“I appreciate my defense squad of one.” Olivia smiled at me. “And I’ll miss this.” She gestured to the kitchen.
