Page 47 of Lucy Loves Him Not
Me
maybe I’m a Marmee.
The next day, I went furniture shopping with Mom and Olivia. I tried to prepare beforehand mentally and emotionally for the onslaught of Adam Talk. As I slid into my mom’s backseat, I was ready for my mom’s opinion on Adam. Anxious for it, even.
But instead, she said, “I’m a little worried about Gracie, guys.”
“What’s going on?” I asked at the same time Olivia said, “What happened?”’
“Nothing’s happened.Yet.But we had some tense conversations about her schedule before she left. I feel like she’s just barreling toward a burnout.”
“You told her this?” Olivia eyes creased in concern from the front seat.
“I did. I told her she was reminding me of our first couple of years living in Sweet River. I think there was a weight of taking care of you girls on my own and proving myself in my career after time away. I committed to a crazy work schedule, but then I also volunteered for every school or church parent responsibility available so you wouldn’t feel any sort of parental lack. I ended up getting horribly sick our second Christmas, so bad thatGrandma had to take me to the hospital. She had a long talk with me and made me promise to make a change for the New Year. And I did, with her help.”
“Oh, Mama.” Olivia squeezed her hand across the middle console.
“I’m fine now. I learned that what I can give is enough. I don’t need to make up for anyone else’s lack, or ignore my well-being and needs, to prove myself. What I can give, and have enough left over for myself, is enough.” Mom sighed. “It’s Gracie I’m worried about. She barely even has time to check in since she left. I don’t even think we’ve spoken on the phone once.”
“I talked to her about it, too,” I said. After she left, I’d tried to reach out a couple of times to barely any replies.
“Me, too.” Olivia let out a humorless laugh.
“She basically just told me she was trapped in her commitments,” I said as I adjusted the air conditioning vent.
“She told me to butt out.” Olivia winced. “I was probably a little more pushy than you, though.”
“I think we should do something,” Mom said. “Maybe we drive down there and…”
“And what?” I asked, imagining Mom storming into her boss’ office or calling her professors and demanding they drop her with no effect on her transcript.
“Mom,” Olivia said in her big sister tone. “I think she’s going to have to learn this one on her own. You learned. Didn’t you?”
“I had to end up in the hospital, though.” Mom took one hand off the steering wheel and ran it anxiously through her auburn hair.
“Gracie is smart. I think we can trust her to figure it out before anything dire happens,” Olivia said.
I watched the city flit past us through the car window, less sure than Olivia. I knew my little sister. She would see things through to the end…even if the end was a big, messy disaster.
We wandered through the furniture store. Olivia had been using a friend’s worn, old couch since I’d kept the one in the apartment. She was now hunting for a new one.
We were sitting on them and judging their comfort versus cuteness. “I’d give this a nine out of 10 on the cuteness scale, but a solid two on comfort,” I said from my spot on an emerald green sofa.
“This is a 10 out of 10 on both,” Mom shouted from a cream sectional. Olivia and I both hopped off our own sofas and dove onto Mom’s. Itwascozy.
“I say 11 out of 10 comfy, but 8 out of 10 cute,” Olivia said, sprawling out between Mom and me.
After some serious couch talk, Olivia popped up to talk with a salesperson about it. Mom and I stayed curled up on the couch.
Mom turned to me with a sparkle in her eyes and said, “Adam sure was sweeter than I expected.”Ah, there it was.
“He is turning out sweeter than I expected, too.” I looked down at my nails.
“You know he actually sent me a Venmo payment to cover all of the pizzas?”
I shook my head. “I didn’t know that.”
“Do you think he was trying to win me over?” Mom bumped her shoulder against mine.
