Page 61 of Lucy Loves Him Not
“How am I projecting? I know how it’s been. You think I don’t remember what Olivia said when she first met me?Working with the enemy.”
I scooted to the edge of my chair. “I don’t think you’re the enemy, Adam.You’ve got to know that.” This conversation was about more than losing the Lims. It was about our conversation outside the museum, too. About the past few weeks.
“You’re so much more than that to me,” I said quietly. I wasn’t even sure he could hear me.
We were both breathing, like coming up for air. There were too many feelings in one room, too many feelings between two people.
“Let’s cool off,” he finally said. “We need to come up with a game plan. We can separate, brainstorm, and connect later. You can call the Lims, but I think we should move forward as if they’re not part of the festival.”
“Yeah, okay.” I stood up, grabbed my bag, and quietly walked to the door. Adam had turned to his computer and was typing quickly.
I could hear the sounds of the office all around me. Victor was on a phone call. The elevator doors pinged. Adam was still facing his computer. His jaw was tense, his breathing stressed.
I felt stressed, too.
But I didn’t want to go. There was more to say between us.
“I guess I’ll go then?” I broke the silence.
He turned to me. “It’s probably better if you do. We have a way of…distracting each other.”
The tension in the room, his phone ringing on his desk, probably meant it wasn’t a good time for me to say,“By the way, I really like you and want to kiss your face,”so I nodded in agreement and left for home.
Twenty-Two
Adam and I relied solely on emails—work emails—for days. I was deprived of the funny texts and FaceTime calls.
Curled up at my kitchen table in my vintage Bella Donna tour tee shirt, my hair a wild mess, staring at my laptop, I willed my phone to send me some scrap of Adam.
I had called the Lims and it didn’t make any difference. We moved on. Adam and the team had a good financial plan and we secured new sources of funding. We were fine. Work was smoothed out. My heart and mind, on the other hand, were wrinkled messes.
I had feelings for Adam. That was undeniable. And he had feelings for me, too, if I was reading the signs right. But, over these quiet Adam-less days, doubts and questions were popping up while I typed up a report or worked on marketing pieces.
Had I scared Adam away?
Ruined our shot?
Was he going to stick around Sweet River?
I paced my kitchen after rereading one of the very professional emails from Adam, searching for any tone or implication. I knew him well enough now to know that he was probably feeling guilty and hurt over the loss of funding.Our conversation didn’t help with that. He was stressed and overworked, I reminded myself. I shouldn’t take our lack of conversation personally. He might be too busy for silly texts aboutLittle Women.
I tried calling my mother, who was trying her darndest to enjoy her extra time off work, so she would usually put me on speakerphone as she made a cake or laid out in her newly purchased hammock, but today she didn’t answer. As the call went to voicemail, I remembered she was busy packing for her trip tomorrow.
I tried to bug Olivia, but she ignored it and sent a text informing me she was at the hardware store with Victor.
I knew better than to call Gracie. I knew her schedule and she would be in the middle of rehearsals right now.
This is dumb. I need to get out of this house.I threw on a pair of denim shorts and yanked my hair into a claw clip, heading straight to Coffees and Commas.
The smell of espresso mingling with old books wafted around me. I felt grateful for a distraction from everything. I was waiting for my turn in line when the door chimed. I glanced behind me to find Adam.
I choked on air, forgetting how to breathe for a second.
“Hello,” he said, drawing out thelo.He gave a nod as he stepped behind me in line.
“Adam,” I said. I touched the clip on my head, realizing that yes, that was how I looked right now. “I was probably going to call you today.”
“Yeah? Is everything okay on your end?” he asked, all about work.
