Page 78 of Lucy Loves Him Not
Olivia nodded. “We’ve lost some key members before. It always hurts.”
“But we’re always okay,” Gracie said. “We pull each other back up.”
“It’s not even just the fear of losing him, which is very real because Adam doesn’t usually stick in one place very long withhis job,” I said. “I don’t know what’s going on in his head. We got home after seeing Gracie and we went right back to work. We haven’t spoken much. It’s as if we had to hit pause right when everything was starting…”
“Luce, it’s just starting out,” Gracie said, completely invested in mine and Adam’s romance. “You’ve got time to figure out all the details. You’re still lighting the candle, no need to snuff out the flame while it’s still flickering to life.”
“I feel like I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop. The call to come. The thunder to crack.” I gestured toward the window. “It’s like I’ve got butterflies with razor blades for wings.”
“Hon, I don’t think there’s a shoe that’s going to drop this time,” Mom said softly.
“Adam is measured and thoughtful. He’s not the type to mess with it if he doesn’t see a future or have some plan in mind,” Olivia said with a reassuring pat to the couch we were sitting on.
“Until he’s packing up and moving to a new state,” I said sourly. “He was telling me how he moves around all the time for his job. He could even run off to Tokyo for work.”
“He’s here right now,” Mom said. “That’s all that matters.”
“Plus, hejustgot here!” Gracie shook her head at me like I was saying nonsense. “Does he actually jet around after a few months?”
“Sometimes,” I said, though I hadn’t exactly clarified that with him.
“Is it possible you’re just looking for a fight?” Mom asked, her words like cannon balls straight through the glass.
I tilted my head in question toward her.
“I know you’re always running around with your little shield and sword,” Mom said.
“And not only to defend yourself, but all of us,” Gracie added, gesturing to herself.
“Our own personal Rhodes Security Guard.” Olivia ruffled my hair. I grabbed her hands.
“You’re always trying to fight our battles. Protect Grandma’s legacy. Fix up my life—” Mom started.
“Fix my broken heart.” Olivia pulled her curved hands apart symbolizing a broken heart.
“Manage my schedule.” Gracie snickered.
“Our lives will have heartaches and broken bones. That’s impossible to avoid. Maybe a full life is worth a little heartbreak now and then. Maybe dancing is worth a few sprains,” Olivia said this to me, now in the present, but also to the little girl lying beside her under a princess comforter wishing she could’ve stopped their daddy from hurting her sisters, from hurting her mom, from hurting her little self. To the little girl vowing she wouldn’t ever let it happen again. “You can’t protect us, or yourself, from every hurt. And we wouldn’t want you to—some of it is needed, some of it is worth it.”
“It comes from a place of love,” I said, my voice small, fragile.
“Oh, sweetie, we know it’s from a place of love,” Mom said, her voice comforting and kind.
“But how about you spread some of that love to Adam? Take some of the hours from the Olivia shift and put them toward the new Adam shift,” Olivia cooed.
Gracie raised her hand. “You can take all that Google Calendar time used for me and sub in Adam’s calendar.”
“Hey, I like my little Lucy grocery delivery service and phone call check-ins.” Mom winked at me. “I’m keeping those.”
“I get it, guys, you want me to have the Adam distraction.” I shook my head.
“No, we just want you to have things in your life that are sweetforyou. You deserve some attention like you give everyone else,” Olivia said. I thought of Adam’s brand of attention and it more than fit the bill.
“We’re also saying that you’re fired from the Rhodes Protection Agency,” Gracie joked. “Let Mom go off to the wilderness without stalking her digitally?—”
“Hey, I was right, wasn’t I? Mom hated it!” I defended myself.
“No, you thought Mom was going to come back with some crazy injury or get kidnapped.” Olivia rolled her eyes.
