Page 20 of One Little Chance
“You know I like to think it’s part of my charm., I said after a sip of my champagne.
“It is. Sophia, always blowing past the limits, at track meets, in conversations,” Jordan said as I winced. “But, Sophie, you always do it with grace. It leaves everyone in the stands or at the table,” he licked his bottom lip, “hooked.”
My face flushed pink. I looked away.
“To answer your question, though, I’m okay. My buddies thought I’d need some support today, you know, after the breakup a couple months back.” Jordan swirled a noodle in red sauce. “I haven’t really thought about it in the past couple weeks. Honestly, the past couple months, I’ve been a little distracted.”
“How’ve you been since Nana?”
“It ebbs and flows. Probably always will,” he said, settling his gaze on me. “Today’s been a good day, though. I’m here with friends, with you.”
“Ebbs and flows,” I repeated. I felt the openness in his tone, him letting me back in bit by bit. Like my keys still worked. “Not the worst Valentine’s Day ever then?”
“No, no. Em’s not the worst heartbreak I ever had, either,” he said it casually, but it had an impact, knocking the air out of my lungs. “Now, let’s hear how you’re doing. It’s been a big couple months for you too. You moved back. You’re starting over.”
I chewed a bite of cheese ravioli, thinking through my answer. “You know, it doesn’t feel like starting over. It feels like coming back home after too long away. Big hugs from everyone I run into, running my old favorite paths. Reconnecting with old friends, making new ones. It’s been easier than I thought.”
Jordan’s eyes lit at my response. “I’m so happy. I know you went through a lot before you came back.”
“Yeah, when I left, I was eighteen and reeling after my dad left my mom, and it took me some time to work through everything. And I was in a relationship, a marriage, that I thought was an escape, but it left me feeling lonelier than ever. But the time after my own divorce, after the grieving, and the healing, and some therapy, that felt likestarting over.This, this feels like…”
“A warm hug?” he asked, slipping his arm around me and pulling me in. I giggled holding my fork with a bite of ravioli on it in the air. This warmth, this ease, was something I’d missed, and after losing it, I recognized now how lucky I was to be feeling it again.
“It’d been too long away,” I said as he let me go. The two of us returned to our plates. A jazzy song with saxophones crooned through the restaurant.
“Sounds like it was an important time that you needed. You can’t rush things like growing. Or healing. Not everyone is going to stay in Sweet River forever. We’re just lucky you came back. You left this scrappy little eighteen-year-old, and now, you’re,”he looked me over, “a grown woman. Still scrappy as ever.” He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. “Your hair is longer, and you’ve got this scar by your lip.” His gaze tripped down my face, down my neck, making my heart trip. “A few new freckles across your neck.”
“The scar was from a short gig as a dog walker while I was in college.” I tore a piece of warm garlic bread and dragged it through softened butter. “What were you up to all this time?”
He leaned back in his chair. “I was trying to get over you,” he said, and I almost choked on my bite, but he continued, “I went to school for business, which was fun. I focused hard on the work, though, not making much time for anything else. I got out of school and went straight to building up the business. I love working with my dad. I love building houses. I dated here and there. I thought Emma could be the one. It seemed like a nice story. She was sweet.”
“Sheseemedsweet,” I said.
“Who’s sweet?” Lucy asked on the other side of me. Reminding me that Jordan and I were at a table full of people, not on an intimate date.
“Jordan’s ex, Emma Brown,” I said, trying to sound as un-awkward as possible.
Lucy smiled. “Oh, yeah. I know her.” Unsure what to say to Jordan about his ex.
“We were talking about what we’ve been up to the last several years,” I offered before taking a sip of water.
“Oh, I’m curious. What were you up to?” Lucy asked me. The table went quiet for me to share.
“School, for starters. I was busy getting an education degree—practicums and reading an insane number of children’s books. You know about that, Lucy. I dated one guy during school. Honestly, looking back, I was trying so hard to force it. He was a musician and seemed like the perfect escape route from myown problems. We got married straight out of college.” I still remembered looking in the mirror the morning of my wedding, my mom questioning,Is this what you want?And I thought, shouldn’t I know the answer to that before I walk down the aisle?
“He was going this way with his music.” I pointed one direction with my right hand. “And I was going this way.” I pointed the opposite way with my left hand. “Also, I had to learn that marriage isn’t something that you can use to hide away from all the hard and scary things of life—eventually, everything finds a way to seep in. And it’ll tear your relationship down.”
People murmured around me, but my eyes were locked on Jordan’s hazel eyes.
“Like I was just telling Jordan, I had some stuff to work through. Some stuff to face. And that’s exactly what I was doing the past several years.Growing up.Tyler and I divorced. I spent time getting to know myself again, facing all the stuff I was running from,” I said.
The server reached across the table to move our empty plates.
“What brought you back? The job?” Simone asked.
“I asked myself after I finally trusted I knew the answer: what was right for me? And you know what? It was coming back here.” I tapped the table in front of us. In front of Jordan.
“I’m glad you came back,” Lucy said through a smile. Someone asked her if she’d ever moved away. Other people started discussing college romances.
