Page 52 of The Nanny and the Don
They would be whining when it was time for bed, but I liked having a little quiet time as much as the rest of the adults in the house. Steel was in his office, so I knocked softly before pushing the door open and letting myself in.
My heart soared when he looked up at me with that handsome smile on his face. Pushing back from his desk, he sat back in his chair and gave me his full attention.
“So, I drove myself to the dollar store and back without freaking out,” I bragged as I walked closer to his desk.
“See I knew you could do it. Next week we’re going into the city.”
“I didn’t say I was ready for all that,” I protested.
“You didn’t have to. Come here,” he said, motioning for me to come behind his desk. I giggled as he pulled me down into his lap. “I’m proud of you, princess.”
“Thank you for being patient with me.”
He brushed my hair back from my face before leaning in and kissing my nose. “What did you get at the store?”
Placing the bag on his desk, I ran down the list of things I’d gotten. “I wanted to get some more of the extra-long hair ties to help keep all of this hair at bay. I got some coloring books for the kids. Oh, and I got a phone.”
Steel’s hands shot to the plastic bag. He emptied the contents on the desk before snatching up the phone. “The fuck you need this for? Did I tell you that you could get another phone? Whothe fuck are you trying to call?” he asked, almost dumping me on the floor as he sprang to his feet.
“What do you mean? I didn’t think I needed permission to have a phone at this point.”
“Answer my question, Devlan. Who the fuck are you trying to call? You worried about your boy Brendan? You trying to tip him off that I’m looking for him? I’ma kill that nigga either way it goes. You can’t save him, Devlan.”
“Steel, what the hell are you talking about? You think he’s the only person I know?” I quizzed.
“I’m just wondering what you’re up to. You trying to call someone to rescue you from me? You want help? You think you need to be saved? That’s why you’re so eager to drive by yourself. You plan on running?”
“What are you talking about? I’m not trying to run! I barely feel like I have a reason to run anymore,” I said, taking a step back to put some space between us.
“Barely, huh? You know what this is, Devlan!” he barked.
“No, I actually don’t, and I’m not sure that you do either at this point.”
Tears welled up in my eyes as I tried to decide if I should try to run or not. I’d seen what he was capable of, and I was terrified of falling victim to his wrath.
“You’re right about that. I feel like you’re playing with me right now. You buttering me up with all that sweet and innocent shit, so I’ll let my guard down, Dev? Tell me what you’re up to. I’m a big guy. I can take it.”
“I’m not trying to pull anything, Steel. Why would I show you the phone if I were trying to play you? I’m not trying to run away from you. I don’t want to leave you, Steel. I fucking love you! Why are you acting like this?”
He didn’t respond to my statement immediately. I looked back at his office door as I considered making a break forthe door again. As I looked over at the door and back at him, it seemed so far away. Steel just stood there shaking his head before closing the space between us. He reached out and touched my face. I snatched away as he swept the single pesky tear from my cheek with the pad of his thumb.
“I’m sorry, baby,” he said, completely throwing me off. “I thought you were pulling away from me, and I panicked. I-I don’t want to lose you, Devlan. I love you too. I never thought I would love anyone like this. Here,” he said, rushing over to the desk and picking up the phone. “I trust you. I didn’t mean to snap at you, baby. I’m just so scared that you’re going to wake up one day and decide that you don’t want this anymore, especially after how it started. I apologize for overreacting. I know I have to trust you. I also know that I don’t deserve you. It makes me nervous about losing you. One day you’ll decide that you can’t deal with a broken man anymore. I just don’t want it to be today.”
“I don’t want to leave you, Steel.”
“But you will. I just want to soak up as much of your love and light as I can until that day comes.”
Shaking my head, I protested. “I’m not leaving.”
“Everybody leaves, princess.”
“I’m not them, baby,” I said, reaching out and cupping his cheeks in my hands. “I’m not everybody. I see you, and I love what I see.”
The rapid blinking of his sorrowful eyes kept the tears at bay as he leaned down and kissed my forehead.
“I don’t like waking up without you. Why do you keep getting up and leaving so early? Are you just a morning person?”
“Some days I am, but mostly I know how you don’t want everyone around here in our business. I try to get up and go upstairs or get my day started before the staff comes in.”
