Page 45 of On Everything
The loud pops and cracks could be heard ripping through the wind as soon as we walked in the building. My stomach hadhuge knots in it thinking about the force coming behind those sounds. The smell of smoke and oil was heavy inside, and my palms started to sweat as we approached a counter sat behind a thick glass desk.
Behind the glass was a heavy-set Hispanic chick with dark sharpie drawn eyebrows and bright red lipstick on her lips. She looks exactly how my aunts and shit did back in the day.
“Hov, how you been, baby?”
“Good. Is my booth open in the back?”
“Yep. It is always available for you, baby. Are you using your own weapon or do you need to look at something?”
“I have a nine on me. It should be cool. Just need some bullets for it.”
“Okay, baby, I got you.”
They continued to make lighthearted conversation as she rang him up for the two boxes of bullets, but I was having trouble shaking my nerves and relaxing. I can admit that my nervousness was accompanied by curiosity. Kind of like that feeling you have standing in line for a roller coaster.
Once they were done with the exchange, Hov walked ahead of me down a hallway that had booths all divided by a thick black wall.
When we made it to the end of the hallway, Hov pulled the curtain on the last booth and stepped to the side to let me in.
I walked in before him, instantly noticing the difference in size of this booth and the ones we had passed. This booth even had a small table sitting in the corner that Hov walked over to before pulling a black gun from his waistband.
“I still don’t understand why we are here, Hov. Those things terrify me. Were you not just in the car with me when I had a panic attack just now?”
“That’s exactly why we are here, mama. I can’t have you scared of guns if you are going to be around me. I have guns everywhere at all times. Shit I have guns under my fuckin’ pillowcases at home.”
“How do we know that I will ever lay on those pillowcases, Hov?”
“Laying on them, screaming in them. All the same.”
“You’re slick at the mouth.”
“And your scary ass is pretty as hell. Now here, take this one.” He held out a gun that he had just loaded with bullets.
“Hold on, no.”
“Yes. Get the gun. I promise I got you.”
“No, wait, I’m scared.”
“Don’t be.”
“I can’t help it. I've never done this before.” I whined like a baby, making Hov get up from his seat.
“Here, hold your hands out in front of you. I got you. I promise.”
My arms were shaking so bad I could barely hold them up how he wanted me to. Once I got adjusted, he turned my hands in the position they needed to be in for him to sit the gun within my fingertips.
“Spread your feet apart.”
He spoke directly into my ear, sending his cool breath down my neck. The way his body felt pressed up against minemade me feel like I could let go of all my strength and he would hold me up.
“Now, just breathe. You and me are going to ease our finger on the trigger and hit that target in front of us. Do you see it?”
My nerves were so bad, all I could do was nod my head up and down to confirm I saw the photo of the outlined human in front of me. Not only was I terrified about holding a gun, but being held by Hov at the same time was making me have feelings I sure as hell didn’t want to feel. Not this early on.
“Where you want to hit it?”
“Umm, I’m not sure.”
