Page 6 of On Everything
“Get your hands off me you fuckin goofy. Are you dumb?” I snatched my arm away from him.
“Alright, fuck you!”
I tuned him out after those words, which was easy to do with all of the chaos around me. There were loud honks from impatient drivers in the street, sharp banging from doors slamming, and sirens of a nearby ambulance that was stuck in traffic up the street. I hadn’t even made it a block away from the police station, and I found myself harassed and overwhelmed, but this is only the beginning.
Each block after that was a series of unwanted comments echoing off my ears that I tried to ignore, with the unsettling feeling of being watched by every man who I passed. When I got on the bus, the harassment didn’t stop when a nigga sat down next to me who could've easily sat in another seat. This was the type of shit I didn't have to deal with having Kairo around. Men in New York sometimes see women alone as easy prey. I honestly need a knife or something other than a gun to defend myself so that I can feel safer in the streets.
By the time I got off the bus and reached my building, I felt a mixture of relief and exhaustion from the trip home. I reached for the door handle to my building and tugged at it, but it often jams, and right now it wouldn’t budge for shit.
"Ugh, come on, open up. Fuck!"
The latch had been broken all summer and living in the projects, you just learn to get used to certain shit. Thank God no one is actually chasing me like I felt. This will be my first and last time coming home after dark. That's for damn sure.
When an arm came reaching over me.
The scent of his deodorant alone told me who it was.
“I got it.”
He pulled the door open after a few pulls.
“I don’t know when they going to fix this shit.”
Ant was behind me with a box of Frank’s pizza in his hand. The pizza smelled good as shit, but Ant smelled even better. Whatever body wash he used was seeping off his pores and giving off a fresh spring smell. I always loved that shit about him.
“Who knows if they ever will. Mr. Lopez is more concerned with being petty over everything else.”
“Very fuckin true.”
I walked in front as he and I both started up the stairs. I was nervous walking in front of him. I was insecure about a lot of shit especially since I gained a little weight being cooped up in the house waiting on Kairo all the time. Kairo told me he liked me this size, but deep down, I think he wanted me as big as his fat aunt Bennae so no one would want my ass.
“So, are you good? I heard about the shit that happened earlier in your apartment.”
“As good as I’m going to be for tonight. I have a filthy apartment waiting upstairs and a huge bloodstain on my floor. I can’t believe that really happened up there.”
“Well, the crime scene unit most likely cleaned up the blood for you before they left. They usually do when it’s a murder.”
“Really? How do you know that?”
He shrugged his shoulder.
“Been around a lot of murders.”
When I chuckled, I was laughing by myself because Ant didn’t crack a smile. He had such a serious and calm demeanor that him laughing would actually seem out of place. I liked him this way tho, not all loud and demanding attention like a lot of the niggas around here. Shit, like my husband, who loves to be the center of attention especially when bitches are around.
We climbed the stairs until it was time for me to exit the staircase.
“Alright, this is my drop off. Enjoy your dinner.”
He smiled and nodded at me without saying another word. I stepped out of the staircase onto the third floor and looked down the dimly lit hall, noticing the crime scene tape still on my door. Exhaling deeply, I took each step towards it, more slowly than the last. It wasn’t until my phone started ringing that I had a reason to stop my slow stroll completely, to get my phone out.
Call from Pernelle.
I leaned back against the wall in the hallway to answer.
“Hi best friend.”
“Ciara, where the fuck are you at!”
