Page 9 of On Everything
“A credit card? Who has a credit card?”
“He opened up one in my name and spent it up on that chick, I’m sure. I just found the statement in the mail earlier today. I believed him too when he said he didn’t do it. Had I just went ahead and put his ass out, I wouldn’t have a crime scene ass apartment right now.”
“I hate to say it, Ciara, but he knows you’re dumb over him, and he tests you on that constantly.”
“I’m far from dumb.”
“Nah friend. I'm going to hold your hand when I say this, but for him, you are.”
Pernelle stopped our stroll to look me in my face. She was a true friend because she was never there to be a yes man and tell me what I wanted to hear. She would call me out on my bullshit and keep it real about things that others wouldn’t. I simply bypassed what she said about Kairo in the past because I didn’t want to believe the truth about him. To me back then, people just didn’t know him like I did, and that’s why I stuck beside him.
“Ciara, here is your opportunity to show him you are not dumb for his ass anymore. Do not put money on that nigga books, don’t answer his calls, get a divorce, and find you some new dick that is worthwhile. Your ass is not getting locked up. He is. Let him suffer alone.”
“Yeah, you right.”
I slowly started to feel the life Pernelle was speaking into me.
“I’m serious, Ciara.”
“And I am too. I’m not turning down anymore niggas being loyal to him. The next man that tries to holla at me, I’ll see what the fuck he talking about. Shit, I may even hit up a couple of men I think look good.”
“Exactly, don’t wait on the next nigga to approach you. You can do the approaching sis. Choose the dick and don’t let the dick choose you. It’s so much out there to hop and bounce on.”
“Ayo.”
Emoney reminded me that she was walking behind us.
“Pernelle, you talking a lot about dick up there, shorty. Chill with the disrespect.” Emoney’s voice was almost a growl now that she’s been making herself sound like a man all these years. I remember when Emoney was just Ebony at Truman, fucking every nigga from our borough. I guess she got enough dick to make her feel like she had one herself. Now she had braids, a grill in her mouth, and a strap-on dick the length of Broadway as Pernelle said.
“Anyway, have you talked to your mama? I’m sure she heard what happened. Shit, my mama called me a few hours ago, and you know they run in the same little gang.”
Pernelle and her mama were a lot closer than me and mine due to my mama being a leech and always hoping to latch on to my life in some type of way. She spent up my social security checks every month from my father until I was eighteen and then started asking me for the money I made on different jobs after that. Growing up, she always told me that I would see her struggle for myself one day instead of wishing that I didn’t endup like her. Shit, the fact that I’m even trying right now shows we are not the same. My mama hadn’t had a job past three months, but here I am on my third year at the assistance center.
Not only was my mama irresponsible, but she was also a hypocrite with her parenting style on me. She often accused me of hoeing around before I’d ever saw a dick before. When I got with Kairo, she told me if I got pregnant, I had to get out of her house. My mama had me when she was sixteen years old, pregnant by her brother’s eighteen year old best friend. By twenty, she was a single parent when my father was shot and killed trying to rob someone years ago. I think a lot of what my mama does to this day is projecting. She had a hard life growing up, so I think she just expected and wanted the same for me.
“She may have heard about it, but you know she’s still mad at me for not letting her and Frisco bad ass come sleep on my couch when she asked back in March.”
“Girl, not Frisco is still alive? Ain’t he like a hundred now in dog years?”
“Yeah, his ugly ass is ancient, but he still alive sitting on my mama’s lap barking at whoever approaches her. I tell you what, Sandy gives that dog more affection than she ever gave me. That’s for sure.”
“Yeah friend, that's sad.”
Growing up, I always wanted a small dog, but we could never afford one with the prices that breeders were charging for anything other than a pit bull around the Bronx. So one Christmas, my mama’s boyfriend at the time, Joe, came home at 7:30 at night with his Christmas gift to me. He handed me a box with such a proud look on his face. I opened it, and there was Frisco’s mean ass in the box.
I remember reaching in to grab him and he bit me on my hand as soon as I touched him. I still have that scar near my thumb too. It was hate at first site with me and that little rat but my mama loved him more than me.
We walked all the way to Pernelle’s building before I realized I didn’t have a phone charger at her place.
“Damn, y’all. My phone is about to be dead, and I just realized that you two have the new iPhone, right?”
“Yep. Do we need to go get yours? You scared to go in your apartment at all?”
“Man, I know we not walking all the way back over there. I got shit to do, P.”
Emoney complained.
“Child, anyway, we can walk back around there with you if you want to go get it. Don’t worry about what the fuck Emoney is talking about.”
