Page 36 of Crocodile Tears
I hadn’t realized how much I’d missed having Dove in my life until the last couple of weeks, and I didn’t want to do anything to mess it up now. I’d missed her humor and sarcasm and snark and fun. Maybe the conservation trust would give me an excuse to keep this up, keep her in my life somehow.
“I missed this,” I finally admitted as we reached the end of the beach and climbed the worn wooden steps onto the road.
“Me too.” Her confession made warmth bloom in my chest.
“Why did we lose touch when we were kids?” I asked. “I tried to reach out to you a few times, but you never replied.”
“I don’t know.” Dove sighed. “I guess you were growing into a life that I knew I wouldn’t be a part of.”
“And you were jealous? I mean, that’s understandable?—”
“No,” she hedged. “I just didn’t want the slow distance to pull us apart, fewer messages, fewer hangouts, eventually our friendship just disappearing while your life got too busy for it. I thought I’d just rip the Band-Aid off and give you an out so you didn’t have to feel guilty about it.”
“What if I didn’t want an out?”
“Maybe you didn’t,” she said. “But eventually you would’ve left me behind.”
I stopped walking for a second, emotions tightening my throat. I wanted to tell her I would’ve never done that, but the truth was, I probably would have. She knew me better than I knew myself, saw me in ways I didn’t want to admit. I’d been a teenager who’d suddenly come into a lot of fame and money, and I’d burned through friendships and relationships and good will with just about everyone I’d known for many years back then. I would’ve left her behind, even as I carried her memory with me.Maybe she was just stronger than I was for being able to cut it off before the friendship soured.
“It’s not a big deal,” she added, clearly knowing I hadn’t taken it well. “You’re not meant to stay in touch with the first girl you kiss.”
I laughed. “You know, at the time I thought that was one hell of a kiss,” I murmured, and she laughed in agreement. “But now, looking back . . .”
“It was terrible.”
“It was terrible,” I echoed, and she and I both burst into laughter again. “I wished for a long time that I could travel back and have a redo.”
“It was perfectly terrible,” she added fondly. “It really set up the next guys after you to seem like great kissers.”
“It was a public service,” I said, trying to sound carefree even as the thought of the next guys made me twinge with jealousy. I’d bet anything that kissing Dove now would be amazing.
“And I’m sure your first kiss being a gangly, little zookeeper’s kid really set up all the supermodels and actresses for you in contrast,” she added with a wink.
“Yeah,” I said, my voice fading away as I stared back at the ocean. “Well, I’m going this way.”
“Cool,” she replied, bouncing awkwardly on her toes. “Thanks for the help with the birds.”
“You’re welcome. Thank you for letting Cody film it.”
She shrugged. “It’s what interim directors do.”
I grinned and gave her a half-wave as I turned down the gravel road to the Holloway Estate. I waited until she’d walked out of view before I fished out my necklace from under my T-shirt and inspected the worn golden coin hanging by a magnet from it—the coin a gangly, little zoo kid had split her hand open trying to retrieve for me.
Chapter Nineteen
Deacon
“We're losing daylight!” Gavin lamented, practically falling from his director’s chair. “Where is she?”
One PA, clearly the sacrificial lamb, finally faced him with a grimace and admitted, “She says she’s not coming out of her trailer.”
“She what?!”
The PA didn't repeat it, just moved away an inch, half-disappearing into the shrubbery behind her. I rubbed my forehead with a groan, and my makeup artist instantly ran in to touch up the smudged, fake dirt splatters on my face. I had hoped this movie would be a fun, lighthearted break from my more serious projects, but I’d take CGI dragons over Hollywood divas any day.
“Do we even need Ivy for this? It’s a simple shot,” I called. “There's not even dialogue. We can shoot it with her stand-in.”
“Someone call Carol,” Gavin shouted.
