Page 46 of Crocodile Tears
“You thought I was a worthless waste of space a few weeks ago.”
My gut clenched. “Yeah, I should’ve never said that. I was just angry.”
“You were right,” he said with a shrug. “I have teams of people who are always trying to shift the blame off of me, who’ve taught me to never admit my faults. And sometimes I don’t think I like who I’ve become very much,” he admitted. “I don’t actually know if I really want things anymore or if I’ve just been told I should want them enough times that I’ve started believing it.”
“You can’t live your whole life based on other people’s expectations of you. There is no winning that game. They will move the goal posts every time you reach them.” He hummed in agreement. “Maybe it’s time to figure out what you’d want if no one was telling you what you should want,” I said, and his eyes hooked with mine. “Maybe it’s time to figure out who you want to be.”
Our gazes held, and I felt myself tumbling into his stare and knew in the pit of my stomach he was about to say something that would shift what existed between us forever. So like a coward, I quickly cut him off and said, “Now feed me another piece of cake.”
Spell snapped, Deacon laughed and grabbed another dessert from the tray.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Deacon
I slept in a strange, slanted concrete room with a drain in the center of it—one that I remembered once housing capuchin monkeys. One wall was entirely chain-link fence with a curtain rod affixed to it for a modicum of privacy. No wonder Dove had gotten out of here when the twins had moved in. Still, I was grateful that they’d given me a place to stay, and the bed was surprisingly comfortable.
A whoop of laughter filtered up from the kitchen and I let out a grumble at the loud echo that carried through the house.
How I longed for my room at the Holloway Estate. I missed all the soft furnishings that ate up the sound. I’d take the creepy cherubs over chain-link any day. Unfortunately, the place was no longer available for rent, and since I’d sent the team back to New York, I would’ve been completely spooked to have that entire cavernous place to myself. Not that this place didn’t freakme out. I’d tradedThe ShiningforSaw. The whole night I’d kept dreaming that chainsaw-wielding monkeys were strangling me with their prehensile tails.
Note to self: next time I visit Prickle Island, don’t take Evelyn Lachlan up on her offer of staying in their “spare room.”
I stumbled, tired, down to the makeshift kitchen and found that a good portion of the Lachlan clan had crammed themselves into the place—Crane, Heron, Finch, and Frankie all stood in a circle around the countertop, eating egg and cheese sandwiches that smelled amazing. Meanwhile, Wren sat perched in an old recliner in the corner, crocheting what appeared to be a Christmas stocking.
“Coffee?” Crane offered, sliding a mug across the stainless-steel countertop.
“Yeah, thanks,” I said groggily. “You’re all up early.”
The four of them laughed.
“We’ve been up for hours,” Finch said with a chuckle. “We usually do the rounds before breakfast. Frankie was making egg sandwiches for us, and we thought we’d bring the kiddos some.”
“We’re twenty-two,” Heron said flatly.
“I said what I said. You’ll still be kiddos when I’m fifty-one and you’re forty-two,” she added with a wink.
I wandered over and perched on a barstool as Frankie dished me up a plate of sandwiches and fresh fruit.
“This is wonderful, thank you,” I murmured groggily.
Crane gave Frankie a half hug as he kept eating. “We used to eat dry ramen bricks for breakfast before Frankie took pity on us.”
“Honestly, the spider monkeys have a more refined palette than these two.” Frankie pointed between the twins.
“Is Dove up?” I asked, looking out the window that faced their family home on the top of the hill.
Crane let out a low whistle. “Can’t have her out of his sights for even a day. Yep, he’s got it bad.”
“Heis sitting directly in front of you,” Heron pointed out as Finch smacked her little brother over the head with a tea towel.
“So, you and Dove, huh?” Crane asked.
“I know what’s happening,” I muttered, wiping crumbs from my lips. “You all came back from your shifts this morning to interrogate me.”
“See, I told you he gets us,” Crane quipped.
“That’s because I’ve known you all for a very long time,” I explained.
