Page 28 of Semi Sweet
What I did last night was one of the most impulsive, insane things I've ever done. I don't regret it, though I really should. It just further solidifies that I'm not happy with a lot of things in my life right now. You made me feel things that I should feel from someone else, things I've never felt before, so I thank you for that. Honestly, there is a part of me that didn't want you to stop either, so I thank you for that, too.
I wish I could tell you it's over with Evan. I wish I could find you and tell you why it can't be right now. I wish I could learn everything about you that I possibly could. I wish I could feel your hands again and...did I mention that you're really tall? Things are complicated. I wish I could sit down with you somewhere and let you know my whole story, but I still don't know who you are despite being covered with marks from where your lips touched my body. You were steps away from my house...my bed. So close and yet I feel like you could be anyone.
So please, I'm going to keep asking who you are. I will keep playing along as long as Evan doesn't find out what we did. As long as Sean doesn't get sick of our game. How did you get him on board anyway? Also, you said brief meetings? Have I talked to you before last night?
Olivia
I folded the note and tried to go back to studying until I noticed Beth behind the display case and decided it was time to walk back over. Was I going to ‘spill the tea’ as Max had requested? They wouldn't tell Evan, right?
"OH MY GOD!" Beth exclaimed and then immediately dropped her voice once I was close enough, looking over her shoulder in the direction of the back of the bakery. Sean still hadn't come out of hiding. "You left so suddenly last night. I was worried and hopeful and…." Her eyes practically sparkled as she tried to catch her breath.
"Nothing to be worried about. But," I looked around just in case Evan had magically appeared, "in your opinion," my voice became no louder than a hiss, "what do you think counts as cheating?"
Both Beth and Max’s eyes bugged outs. "WHAT!?"
I begged them to be quiet. "No really, I need to know!"
"So," Max gave me a look with an eyebrow raised, "did you have sex with the cupcake guy?" He raised his voice slightly. "Because if you did, I want to hear all about it."
My face burned as I shook my head vigorously. "No, not that far, but…."
After stumbling over my words for what felt like an eternity, I was finally able to get out what had happened after I left the party. Beth looked like it was difficult to keep herself upright and she grabbed onto the counter in front of her like she'd be on the floor otherwise. Max had taken off his black Cash Value Market hat and was using it to cover his face, eyes crinkling in the corners like he was stifling laughter.
"You guys are freaking me out!" I sputtered.
"I guess it's what you consider cheating," Max finally said. "Some people say anything with anyone that isn't your significant other is."
I felt sick for the third reason today and waited for Max to hopefully have better news.
He seemed like he was trying to soothe me. "I feel like most people would say the actual deed is what counts and you both had your clothes on, so I'd say you're safe."
Seeing as how I had no idea where Evan stood on the issue, I had no clarity or peace of mind over the matter. I tried to imagine how I would feel if Evan did something like this while I was away. Once again, this was how I knew my relationship was messed up because I should have told myself I'd feel mad, but it would be the perfect reason to call things off. Except I wasn't the one with the family fortune that could destroy him. What a mess.
"Do you know who your secret admirer is, at least?" Beth asked excitedly.
Once more, I felt my face burn. They both looked so hopeful and anticipatory and they were about to feel as stupid and hopeless as I did. I pulled on my scarf again as I tried to combat my nerves. "Actually, no."
"WHAT!?" Max and Beth's shouts made nearly everyone in the service area pause what they were doing. I couldn't even beg them to be quiet this time because it was ridiculous and I couldn't deny it.
"So you're telling me," Max asked sort of loudly, which I found odd, "that this guy danced with you, put his hands all over you, was a gentleman and brought you home in one piece, and he didn't tell you his name?"
"Not even a department."
"Not even a department?" he repeated, exaggerating his voice and making it turn up with his question. "Why, that seems like something a coward would do."
Beth pushed Max into a prep table and told him to shut up. Very seriously, she murmured. "What are you going to do now?"
I showed them my letter. "I guess I'm going to keep playing."
Beth clapped excitedly as she reached for the note and put it in her work jacket pocket, but Max didn't look very happy about this development.
"Look, it's your life and you can do whatever you want, but maybe this is a sign that you should stop. You met in person and he still didn't tell you who he was. Maybe it's time to put your efforts into working out your issues with Evan."
"Max," Beth said through her teeth before smiling back at me. "We'll make sure this gets where it needs to go. Don't worry. Now, we probably should get to work before Sean notices how long we've been bullshitting."
I waved at them before I headed back to my table. As I worked and occasionally looked up to watch people, I realized something didn't sit right with me. This whole time, the pair of bakery clerks were claiming they didn't know who was responsible for the cupcakes and the notes. Based on how they were behaving today, Max especially, I wasn't sure if I believed that anymore.
So who were they protecting? What did they get out of aiding him? I thought of several occasions when Max had tried to talk me out of it. Did he fear Evan Quittero because he was overly involved? Was he the mystery gifter? I looked up and studied the boy with long dark hair that was tied in a messy bun under his hat. Nope, not him and definitely not tall enough.
