Page 32 of Semi Sweet
“What are you doing?”
Papers still in hand, my pulse was so fast, I felt light headed. If I turned around, the mystery was over and the game was finished. I couldn’t just stand there, either–eventually Russel would go looking for me. I had no other option but to face him.
Sean was standing there. He still hadn’t put his workcoat on since returning from his meeting. I expected him to be angry, but his expression surprised me. For someone who had discovered a person where they didn’t belong, he looked like the one who had been caught.
Chapter Seventeen: Definitely Not Calm
Mybraininitiallytoldme to lie and say I’d been asked to get something from the bakery and when no one was there, I took it upon myself to look. I couldn’t do it. Instead, I crept over to him, feeling like I might be sick. I knew what would happen if he was found snooping in my department.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I don’t know what possessed me to come back here. It will never happen again.”
I got ready to squeeze past him and run back to the safety of my courtesy desk when I realized that the top of my head ended at his chin. Just like it had with the person I’d kissed by the bus stop. I reached up, placing my palm on his cheek, imagining what his face would have looked like with a black domino mask in front of his dark brown eyes. His skin felt the same under my fingers. There was no denying it.
“Of course,” I said breathlessly, watching him momentarily shut his eyes in response to my touch. “How could I be such an idiot?”
I suddenly felt like crying and I wasn’t sure why. He had seen me cry far more times than I currently wanted to think about, so I decided it was time to make a break for it. I didn’t care if Beth, Max, Bruce, or even Evan saw me escape from the back of the bakery at this point, I just needed a minute to process everything. I made it about two steps before I felt his hand on my wrist. I stared down at his hand, remembering that he’d done the same thing at the party.
“I can explain,” he said softly. “But not here.”
I nodded, wondering if it was because he didn’t want the wrong person to overhear or if the story was so long, we’d both get in trouble. The minute he let me go, I all but ran back to the front end. I’d been so preoccupied, I was shocked to see Russel manning my post and not someone else.
“What the hell, did you fall in?” he demanded.
I could not think of an excuse that wasn’t more ridiculous than the truth or at least a bent version of it. “Someone in the bakery had a question about something. Instead of calling, they just pulled me aside.”
“How thoughtful of you both,” Russel deadpanned. “Hope you aren’t expecting a break, because you just had one.”
“Fair enough.”
Russel must have expected more of a struggle because he raised an eyebrow at me. “Is there something wrong with you?”
You have no idea.I merely shrugged my shoulders. I was grateful when he left so I could have hours to fight with my thoughts. Or that was my plan until the phone rang. It was an inside line.
“Courtesy desk,” I answered.
There was a brief pause before a calm voice made my stomach flip-flop. “It’s me.” I did not understand how he wasn’t freaking out like I was.
“Hi.” My voice was an octave higher than normal. I was definitely not calm.
“I said I would explain,” he said. “Do you have class tonight?”
“Yes,” I squeaked.
“Skip it. Just this once. Meet me somewhere.”
I thought about it. I had class until almost eight and wondered if it would seem strange if I came home a bit early or late. Would meeting Sean mean I was really cheating? What were my feelings on all of this? I told myself that I needed to know the truth and I vowed it would not be more than that.
“Okay,” I finally replied.
“Can you write an address down?”
I grabbed a pen and a scrap of paper and scribbled the address of a place up in Highland. We agreed to meet at six-thirty before I hung up the phone. I let out a breath as I stared down at the address. I’d never skipped a class before, not even senior skip day in high school. I guessed there was a first time for everything.
***
I was too nervous to study in my usual booth so after I got off work, I changed and rode the train up to Highland. I hunkered down in a library until it was closer to six-thirty. Not that I was able to focus. My mind kept wandering to the man I was going to meet.
Would I be angry at him? I decided I wasn’t mad at Sean, but mad at myself for not seeing the signs earlier. If anything, I probably should have been thanking him for bringing some happiness in my sad, confusing life. But admitting that seemed like a betrayal to Evan. That’s where I struggled. Evan made me feel like crap, but I’d promised myself to try and make things work because I’d picked him over my family and friends.
