Page 57 of Semi Sweet
Sean let me down and we locked eyes. Without saying a word, I could see he was upset by this development.
“We have two officers out patrolling the campus looking for him, but it seems that he’s gone,” the cop continued before turning his attention to Sean. “How did you get here?”
“I took the train, sir.”
“Let me have one of the officers give you two a ride home,” he said. “It happens far too often that disgruntled perps wait for their victims in places like that and follow them home. He’ll take you the roundabout way.”
Evan’s threat echoed in the back of my mind.I’m gonna find him. And when I do, I’m gonna kill him.I wanted to believe he wasn’t that unhinged, but I didn’t know what to think anymore.
The officer radioed one of the other cops to return to the station so Sean and I could be brought home. I said nothing as Sean asked the police officer what I should do for my other classes on campus during the week. The officer suggested letting campus police escort me or contacting my professors. I almost felt like I was in a dream, like I was watching what was happening to me through someone else's eyes.
It should have been weird sitting in the back of a police car, but I just felt numb, looking at my lap instead of out the window. This officer was younger, not much older than Sean, and he asked where we lived. Otherwise, the ride was silent. I could feel anxious thoughts and questions piling up, trying to force their way into my mind. I held myself so rigidly, I jumped in the darkness when I felt Sean reach for my hand. His skin was warm. I looked over at him, his face only illuminated when the cruiser drove under street lights, but his expression made it clear he would make sure that nothing happened to me on his watch. I laced my fingers with his, grasping his hand so tightly, it hurt.
***
Once we were certain Evan wasn’t lurking anywhere near the apartment complex, the police officer dropped Sean and I off. Bear was his usual happy self when we entered the apartment, but Sean barely paid him any mind as he locked the door.
“Are you hungry?”
I shook my head. I still hadn’t said much since he’d come to my rescue.
“A drink? I can stay up all night and we can talk this out.”
I stared into space for several moments before I finally refused. “No, thank you.”
Sean walked past me towards the couch. “You should sleep in my room. You could lock the door, have privacy. I’ll take the couch, no worries.”
There was a beat of silence. I could feel all the dark, scared thoughts ricocheting around in my head. I wanted to cry and scream, break things, maybe sleep for the rest of my life. I wasn’t sure about anything except that I was terrified. I bit my lip, feeling desperate.
“Stay with me. Please,” I spoke softly because anything louder would give away how weak I felt. “I don’t think I can be alone right now.”
“Are you sure?” he asked. “I–”
“It’s just to sleep,” I assured him. “Please.”
After triple-checking the lock, grabbing my pajamas, and making sure Bear was all set, Sean led me towards his room. It was just as sparsely decorated as the rest of the apartment. A full-size mattress with a navy blue comforter, a wooden night stand, and matching dresser were the only furniture. Sean went to the dresser, pulled out clothes, and excused himself to get changed.
In those few short moments he was gone, I took in the room, his clothes, and the odd collection of things on the night stand. The crippling thoughts beat at me until they were overwhelming.
This is why you didn’t leave for all those years. You can’t get rid of him.
If Sean didn’t like you, you’d be trapped. You’d be dead.
Now Sean might be in danger because of you. You can’t keep doing this to him.
Your life is hopeless. Everything is hopeless.
I sobbed. I supposed I should be a bit proud of myself. I could have cried about everything that happened tonight countless times and I’d kept it together until now. Or maybe I should have succumbed to my emotions sooner. Maybe I would have known how to cope better.
Sean burst into the room. He didn’t question my reaction. I had a feeling he expected this to happen eventually. He pulled me towards him, putting his chin on the top of my head as he wrapped his arms around me.
“I can soothe you in three different languages,” he assured. “Let me know which one you’d prefer.”
“I don’t think I can do this without you!”I wailed into his chest.
“Yes, you absolutely can.”
When I shook my head, he started to rock us both back and forth.
