Page 123 of Here We Go Again
“I was eleven, Rosie. How could I ever understand it wasn’t about me?” Logan shakes her head like she’s easily shaking away the memories that haunted her for so long. “Vermont was illuminating, to say the least, but you askedwhenI did all of this, and the thing is, I’ve been working on it since I got back. I haven’t really slept much.”
“Logan!”
“I know, I know! Definitely an ADHD manic productivity binge.”She waves her hands around like she’s notstillmanic. “But I had this whole epiphany, and I don’t want to keep using what Sophie did as a reason to never care, because I do care. I’ve always cared about you. And I love you, and I made you a writing room. So that’swhy, I guess.”
Rosemary still doesn’t understand what’s happening, but she takes a step closer to this frantic chaos tornado with blue paint on her cheek. “You… you love me?”
“I did and I do and I always will,” Logan says plainly.
Rosemary disintegrates into stardust and swoon at those words.
“I should have said that two days ago. I should have said thattwenty yearsago,” Logan rants. “I loved you when we were girls. Even when I was too young to understand what love is, my heart still loved you on instinct. Loving you was like breathing. My body just knew what to do, even when my brain was still a primordial hormone soup.”
Rosemary temporarily forgets how to breathe.
“And when I kissed you in that garden—” Logan touches two fingers to her bottom lip as if she canstillfeel that kiss there. “It was the best moment in my first fourteen years on this earth, but I didn’t know how to trust that good things could happen to me, so I acted like it was a joke.”
Rosemary inhales a staggering breath. “Logan,” she manages, “you don’t have to explain. We were teenagers. We both had soup brains.”
“Idohave to explain,” she insists emphatically, “because I need you to know that I spent ten years seeing you on every street corner, wondering when you would come home to me. The day I saw you at teacher training, I should’ve told you the truth: I’d been waiting for you.”
Rosemary wants to laugh. “Waiting for me? We kissedonetime.”
“Twice, actually. But it was never just about the kiss. You were half my heart.”
She can’t look directly at Logan, can’t handle the intensity of thosehazel eyes. But there’s nowhere else in this room she can look that doesn’t overwhelm her with feelings. “You made me a writing room,” Rosemary says softly.
“You deserve it,” Logan insists with more affection than Rosemary can handle, too. “You are the most passionate, bravest person I’ve ever met. When you love something, you love it wholly and unapologetically. When Joe asked us to take this trip, you didn’t even hesitate. I want to be more like that.”
Rosemary finally bridges the gulf between them. “I can’t believe you did this for me.”
“Oh!” Logan flails again. “There’s one more thing!”
Logan rushes over to the desk and picks up a white, two-inch plastic binder, just like the one Rosemary prepared for this trip. Logan hands her the binder. “What’s this?”
“I could never plan an itinerary like you, and I could never paint you like Remy painted Joe, but…” Logan trails off as Rosemary opens the binder. There’s a title page with the wordsAll the Things I Love About Rosemary Halewritten across the center. Rosemary’s head swims and swirls as she reads the labels on the binder dividers.
Her Personality.
Our History.
The Way She Makes Me Feel: Part I.
The Way She Makes Me Feel: Part II.
Her Ass (and Other Attractive Features).
Logan finally finishes her thought. “But I wanted to find a way to show you how much I care about you. And I figured someone should make a binder for you.”
Eventually, Rosemary will read every word on every page of this binder, but right now, she allows it to drop to the floor with a thunk, and she rushes to Logan, throws her arms around her. Holds her and is held.
“I care about you so fucking much,” Rosemary says with every ounce of certainty she has. “And I love you too.”
“Yeah?” Logan asks, like she still doesn’t know, like she still doesn’t get it. As if Rosemary could ever stop caring about this glorious disaster of a woman.
“I did and I do and I always will.”
Logan chokes on a sob, and Rosemary reaches up to wipe away her tears. Then Rosemary stands on her tiptoes and kisses Logan without caution or hesitation. Because even if this ends in hurt, Logan is so fucking worth it.
