Page 100 of Love to Defy You
I tug the blanket tighter around my shoulders.
Enzo’s gaze is so intense I worry he’ll give me a lobotomy by staring a hole into my skull.
“Willow?” Enzo kneels in front of my chair. “Come on, will you just look at me?” He tries to keep his voice gentle, but his gritted teeth give him away.
With a heavy sigh, I peel my forehead off the window and meet his gaze.
His shoulders relax a little when I acknowledge him. “Look, I said some cruel things to you last night. Things I regret.” He takes a deep breath. “I… I didn’t take your rejection well, and I said what I said out of anger. I’m sorry, Willow. You didn’t deserve that.”
I stare at the beige carpet on the floor. “You didn’t say anything that wasn’t true.”
“Hey, don’t say that.” He rakes his fingers through his hair to push it out of his face and blows out a breath. “Don’t let what I said get into your head. It’s not true.”
I bury my face into my knees so he doesn’t see the tears in my eyes. The lump in my throat returns, making it hard to swallow.
“Talk to me,” he says. “Whatever you’re going through, I can help.”
“I’m...” I take a breath. “I’m just... so fucking confused. I can’t think straight.” I glance at the closed door of the cockpit. “When are we taking off?”
“Are you confused about me?” He places his warm hand on my head and strokes my hair. “Because I’m not confused about my feelings for you, Willow. Not one bit. I want to be with you.”
“Enzo, stop.” I lift my head, and he withdraws his hand. “Look, I was fucked-up last night. I took things too far, and I’m sorry for leading you on. But I’m in love with Alek, and that’s not going to change.”
He lets out a frustrated scoff. “Why are you still hung up on Kurochkin after everything he’s done? You deserve better.” He runs a hand up and down my arm over the blanket. “For the record, I’d never do that to you. I’ll end things with Birgitta as soon as we land in Zurich, and you won’t ever have to worry about me cheating—“
“Stop! Just stop!” I push his arm off and stand up from my seat. This is all too much, too fast, and the blanket falls to the floor as I make my way up the aisle toward the bathroom.
“Willow, wait.” Enzo chases after me and grabs my hand. “I’m sorry. I’m getting ahead of myself.” He gently turns me around to face him. “Take all the time you need to figure things out. I’ll be right here when you’re ready.” He gestures at a beige sofa behind the swivel chairs. “Sit down. Let me get you something to drink. What would you like?”
I let him pull me over to the couch and take a seat. “Water’s fine.”
“Coming right up.” Enzo disappears into the back for a few moments, says something to Gretchen, and returns with a glass of ice water. “Here you go.”
“Thanks.” I accept the cold glass and take a long sip, trying to wash away the hard lump stuck in my throat.
He takes the seat beside me, and even though he sits close, he doesn’t touch me. “Let me say one more thing, and then we’ll put this conversation to rest.”
I don’t want to hear what he has to say. All I want is to be left alone to stew in my melancholy, and to think about what I’m going to say to Alek after we land.
But I nod. “Fine. Go ahead.”
He leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees, and stares at the carpet. “The Order of Apollo changes people. When a candidate nears the end of the trials, they see the finish line and realize they’re about to join the most elite brotherhood on theplanet.” He taps his temple. “That kind of power messes with people. Goes to their heads. We see it every year, guys who leave behind anyone and anything holding them back from realizing their true potential, and Alek is one of them.”
I swirl my water, and the ice splashes against the inside of the glass. “I’m holding him back?”
“No, you could never hold anyone back.” Enzo turns to look at me over his hunched shoulder. “Becauseyouare destined for greatness, and Kurochkin is an idiot for not realizing that.“ He lets out a low sigh and sits up. “My birth father didn’t want me. He abandoned my mother the moment she told him she was pregnant, and he left her with nothing despite his vast fortune.” He clenches his fists on his thighs. “The elite are selfish. All they care about is themselves, and they will crush anyone who gets in the way of their power or wealth. It makes me sick.”
I knock back the rest of the water and set it on a nearby tray table. “Then why join the Order of Apollo if you hate them so much?”
He angles his body toward me and rests his arm on the back of the sofa. As he leans closer, his anger melts, and his lips stretch into a wide grin, his teeth glinting in the light. “Because I’m going to beat them at their own game.”
I’ve never seen such an unhinged expression on his face, but it feels like I’m pulling back the curtain and seeing the real Enzo Messina. Diabolical mania flickers like fire in his dark eyes, and it sets off alarm bells in my brain.
This is the same guy who kills people without a second thought in the name of the brotherhood. It was easy to push that knowledge aside this week, especially since Enzo was there for me more than once.
But right now? I remember exactly who I’m dealing with.
“I need to use the restroom.” I abruptly push off the sofa and slip into the bathroom, breathing hard as I lock the door behind me and press my back against the wall.
