Page 97 of Love to Defy You
As they pass our table on the way to the dance floor, my dad stops and gives me a peck on the cheek. “Love you, kiddo.”
If he saw me sitting on Enzo’s lap, he doesn’t show it, but I hope he was too swept up in the romance of his wedding day to notice. “Love you too, Dad.”
A new ballad starts to play, and my dad squeezes my hand before taking Galina to the dance floor. He leads her in a slow dance as they wear identical joyous grins.
That was supposed to be Alek and me one day. We were supposed to dance at our wedding and vow to love each other forever. But instead, Alek fucked with my mind, used my body, and shattered my soul, and all that’s left of me is a black, empty void.
“I can’t do this right now.” I hurry away from the table, setting off across the venue toward the bar as couples join the bride and groom on the dance floor. Since everyone is busy dancing, I’m the only one in line. “Tequila shot, please. Actually, make it two.”
The bartender nods and gets to work while I drum my fingers on the counter, trying to expel this nervous energy in any other way besides tears. I turn around and rest my elbows on the counter to survey the party. Dad was right—there aren’t a lot of people here my age to talk to except for Enzo, but he’s already struck up a conversation with one of the wedding photographers.
A woman around Galina’s age steps up to the bar on my left. She looks at me with a kind smile and says something unintelligible.
I shrug my shoulders. “Sorry, I don’t speak Russian.”
“Oh, I was saying I love your engagement ring.” She points at my left hand that’s tapping the counter. “It’s stunning.”
Don’t cry.Don’t cry.
“Thanks.” My voice cracks, but she’s too distracted by my ring to notice. This ring is one of those novelty finger traps kids win at the arcade, but instead of bamboo, it’s made from spiked metal and lavish gemstones.
“Wow, he’s a rich guy, yeah?” she says with a thick Russian accent. “You’re so lucky.”
I can’t swallow down the lump in my throat. “Yeah.”
Why can’t I say it? Why can’t I tell her that my fiancé ghosted me and left me with an expensive ring I can never sell becauseI can’t take it off? That this ring is a painful reminder of the betrayal that Alek blindsided me with.
“Do you have a date set for the wedding?” At last, she looks up from my ring and gives me a warm smile.
“I...” I chew my bottom lip. “Well, actually...”
“We’ll have a summer wedding,” Enzo interrupts, snaking his arm around my waist. “We haven’t set a date yet, but we’re looking at venues.”
I avert my gaze to the ground as the tension releases from my shoulders, and I melt into Enzo’s side.
“But we can’t seem to agree on where,” Enzo embellishes. “I want to have it in Sicily, but she insists on getting married here in Andarusia.”
I take a deep breath and turn into him, placing my hand on his chest. I’ll go along with his bit. “Yes, but you’ll give in to me eventually because you’re hopelessly in love with me.”
“Okay, fine, Andarusia it is.” Enzo lets out a light, practiced laugh. “What can I say? I’m a fool in love.”
The Russian girl claps her hands together. “You’re such a cute couple. I’m sure you two will be very happy.” She picks up the glass of wine the bartender sets out for her. “Anyway, congratulations. Nice to meet you.” She waves to us before rejoining the party.
I step out of Enzo’s embrace, but it’s hard to meet his eye. “Thank you for that. I just couldn’t find the words to explain to her...”
“You looked like you needed saving.” Enzo grabs one of the tequila shots from the counter and raises it in the air. “Shall we toast to our fake engagement?”
With a giggle, I pick up the other shot glass. “To fake engagements.” I pluck the lemon off the top and lick the salt off the rim.
He pauses with his glass close to his lips. His gaze follows the trail of my tongue as I swirl it around the rim, and the night air grows thick between us.
I like Enzo’s hungry eyes on me. Even though I’m emotionally raw and hopped up on antidepressants and alcohol, I crave his attention. I need someone to want me after Alek threw me away like a used toy he outgrew, to make me feel wanted again and distract me from the pain gripping my heart.
Sex is my escape. When the world sucks, as it so often does, sex makes me numb to everything except the sensual pleasure between my legs. It’s a fleeting fix, a Band-Aid for a bullet wound, but there’s an empty chasm where my heart is supposed to be, and I need it filled somehow.
I sling back the shot and bite down on the lemon to ease the burn in my mouth.
Enzo follows my lead, then sets the empty glass down on the counter. “Dance with me.”
