Page 24 of Throw Away the Key
“Oh, hey. I didn't see you there.”More honestly, I’m surprised that you’re acknowledging that you see me…
“You getting coffee? I mean, of course you’re getting coffee… this is acoffee stand,” Sadie squeezed her eyes shut as if she was wishing for a do-over.
She’d taken off her leather jacket and held it in her arms, Emma’s eyes falling to the delicate expanse of skin over Sadie’s collarbone that was exposed. “But they serve tea and lemonade, so it was a valid question.” Emma swallowed hard, tilting her head. “Listen, uh, I don't have to come to that art thing if it makes you uncomfortable.”
Sadie's brows rose in surprise. “Oh, I'm not uncomfortable.”
Right.“Are you sure?” Snark was typically more reserved for Zora, but small talk just felt… wrong. Everything in Emma nudged at her to close the distance between her and Sadie except for a voice in her head, which warned her off.
“Yeah, I… it's just that I have a lot going on. But I think it's great that you want to come and support Joy.”
“I like Joy. I recognize that I don’t know her well, but she’s got a cool vibe. I’m happy to support her.” Emma turned and ordered an iced matcha latte with oat milk and strawberries and stood off to the side waiting for her drink.
Sadie placed her order and followed Emma, poking her finger at Emma’s purse. “I see you’ve got your keys clipped to your bag.” The carabiner was hooked around one of its straps. It had come in handy whenever Emma needed to find her keys in a hurry.
Now we’re reaching… she’d know how useful the thing was if she’d bothered to answer the phone.“Yep, I’ve got my keys, so as long as one doesn’t break in the lock again, I’ll stay out of your hair,” she quipped. Thanks to the silent treatment, Emma made it a point to run through the checklist of items she needed for fear that she’d have to interrupt Sadie’s work so that she could retrieve her keys or phone. She’d started planning out her outfits in advance and clipping her keys to whatever purse matched best so that everything was where it should be.
In truth this new practice wasn’t a bad thing–it saved her a lot of time. She just didn’t want to admit that planning was actually beneficial. Zora’d never let her hear the end of it.
“You’re not a bother, Emma,” Sadie blew out a breath. “Listen, I know I haven’t called you back. I just…”
Emma’s face grew hot at the threat of rejection. “It’s cool,” she smiled tightly. “No need to explain.”
One of the baristas called out Sadie’s name and she stepped forward, though her lips parted as if she had something more to say. Her eyes darted back and forth between Emma’s and the ground before she grabbed her cup of regular drip coffee and raised it wordlessly, turning back to go join her friends.
Emma's mind ran a mile a minute as her drink was delivered to the counter. She smiled as she thanked the barista and swirled the drink in her hand. “I do not get this girl,” she muttered to herself, as she pivoted on her heel to walk home.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Zora had a date that night with Reid, but Granny was free and agreed to go with Emma to the art show. As they approached the front door of the gallery, Granny turned and looked at Emma with a thoughtful expression. “You good, baby?”
Granny had put on a dressy pair of slacks with a beaded sweater and a winter capelet. She’d said the event warranted a red lip, her hair pulled back into her signature chignon. She’d been keeping a watchful eye over Emma since they got into the car.
“I’m good,” Emma nodded, a brave smile curving the corners of her mouth slightly. “No worries.” Nevermind that her stomach was tied into knots. She shivered as the evening breeze ruffled the collar of her lightweight trench coat.
“You ain’t never gotta lie to me, baby,” Granny’s sage voice was gentle, her warm eyes framed by wisdom.
Emma’s shoulders dropped as she looked into the face of her elder. “I’m fine. I’m just disappointed. I did want to see things progress with Sadie, and I'm disappointed that it seems like she felt the need to distance herself from me. I just really wanted to, honestly I don't know…” She looked upward toward the night sky, the warmth of the streelights blurring out the stars
“You wanted to be ready for your person. And it's completely understandable why you would feel a sense of hope and disappointment if it feels like your feelings aren't being matched.”
Emma nodded. “I got my hopes up, Granny. And it's probably too soon to tell if Sadie is the right one or the wrong one or whatever, but I wanted to feel like she’d at least give it a chance.”
Ms. Marion reached for Emma’s hand and gave it a squeeze. “First of all, never be ashamed of hope–it’s a good thing to want things for yourself, for your heart. You deserve good things, and wanting them for yourself is not something that you should regret. You are a sweet and sensitive spirit that can see the good in everyone else. You want goodforeveryone else. I want you to give yourself that same acceptance and care.”
Emma clutched the elder’s hand between her own. “I needed that.”
Marion nodded. “For right now, just be present in the moment. Enjoy the show, and who knows? Maybe in seeing you tonight, Sadie will share more about where her head's at. And if she doesn’t, maybe she isn’t quite ready for what you might be ready for.”
“Yeah, you're right.” Emma smiled gratefully. “Granny, thank you. You always know where my head is and I really appreciate the way that you bring your perspective without judging. Sometimes I wonder whether people take me seriously.”
“Why on earth wouldn't they take you seriously? You're smart. You're beautiful. You're funny. You see the best in everybody.”
“Yeah, but maybe they think I'm just being naive. When I got home from the farmer’s market, I couldn’t help thinking about this stuff–like, why am I so all over the place? How come I amconstantly losing things? Does everyone think I’m flighty? I just wonder sometimes. I don’t mean to be… Like I know most things are said in jest, like me being extra,” she emphasized with finger quotes. “But is there truth to the jokes, or am I doing the most by overthinking this stuff?”
Granny pressed her lips together. “Anybody that thinks that you are flighty or doing too much doesn't know you well enough, and really it’s their loss, because you’re worth the investment. There’s nothing wrong with being the light in a room full of darkness. People gravitate toward you because they need your light. Now come on, gimme some sugar,” Granny opened her arms to Emma, giving her a big hug.
Emma dropped a kiss on her cheek. “I love and appreciate you so much, Ms. Marion. You ready to go in?”
