Page 24 of The Dating Prohibition
And there it was. Kendra nodded, blinking back the moisture building in her eyes as she turned away from him and her shoulderssank. “Okay.” She sat back in her seat, reaching for her seat belt as she cleared her throat.Don’t you dare cry in front of this man, Kendra.“We should get back so you can watch that game.”
She stared straight ahead, her eyes not really focusing on anything in front of them. He huffed a breath and started the car.As he drove, Kendra rolled down the window, resting her arm on the base of the window frame. She leaned her head into herhand, running her fingers through her hair, which she did anytime she was agitated. Ben had revealed this to her during agame of poker—apparently, she had tells. She hated that she was showing so much when he showed so little—her heart was onher sleeve, in her fingertips, and all over her face.
“Kenny, are you okay?” he asked. They’d stopped at a light.
His voice felt distant, but she was creating that space between them.One thing about a Capricorn: we will compartmentalize the shit out of our feelings so that we can press on.The proximity sucked the air out of the truck, and she would suffocate if she didn’t make space. Detaching wasn’t somethingshe wanted to do, but if he wasn’t even open to the possibility of trying, she didn’t have much choice. She looked up at thesky, watching fluffy clouds drift across a palette of pale blue. She couldn’t look at him. He’d see her feelings all overher face. “I’m good. It’s all good. Thank you for being honest.”
Kendra knew her tone was dull and probably not at all convincing. She could feel his eyes on her, but she didn’t trust herface not to express the disappointment that crushed her insides. She took a shallow breath, pushing all of her emotions tothe back of her mind.We’re fine. Nothing happened. There’s no reason to be upset. We gon’ let go and let God.
Kendra rolled up her window as they pulled up in front of Logan’s house. She turned slightly and looked at the car stereo.“Thanks for the invite. This was really helpful.” She held up the dossier. “Lots of things to consider.”
“Kenny.”
She couldn’t look at him, but she forced a smile. “No worries, B. I’ll see you later.” She exited the car and walked towardthe door leading to the basement, her eyes trained on the doorknob. She moved quicker when she heard BJ exit the car and followher toward the house.
Logan stepped onto the front porch before she made it all the way to her separate entrance. “What did you think of the place?”
“It was nice, but it’s already got multiple bids, and I’m not ready. And that one was out of my price range.” She steppedtoward the door, looking everywhere but into her brother’s eyes.
“Hey. You okay?”
“Yeah, just tired. I’m gonna take a nap and then work some more on my proposal.” She entered the code to unlock her door asBJ stepped onto the porch with Logan. She waved before opening the door. “Enjoy the game!” Once inside, she closed the door,leaning her back against it. She shut her eyes for a long moment before she rolled her shoulders back, kicked off her shoes,and headed toward the bedroom. The moment her head hit the pillow, tears began to fall. She curled onto her side and fellasleep.
Chapter 6
“I think I like BJ,” Kendra blurted out. She sat at a local coffee shop with her brother. Neither of them could concentratemuch at home, so once in a while they’d take their laptops to claim their favorite coworking space to encourage productivityover steaming mugs of coffee, fruit bowls, and fresh lemon cake. Jazzy tunes played from overhead speakers and the seatingarea was filled with people clicking away on laptops or blocking everyone and everything out with noise-canceling headphonesand a good book.
This particular location had its own coffee roasting machine on display with huge bags of coffee beans ready to be roasted.The rich and energizing aroma wafted throughout the room as chatter and laughs echoed through the open space.
Kendra wasn’t sure her brother heard her, but there was no chance that she’d repeat her admission. She lowered her eyes andpoked at a strawberry before slicing into her cake. The tart icing and tender confection melted on her tongue. She hummedher approval, swaying in her seat.
“I know you do,” Logan replied calmly, sipping his coffee.
She made a face. “You do?”
“Have youeverbeen able to hold water?”
“I thought I was being inconspicuous this time,” she muttered.
“Yeah, no, you were the exact opposite of that. You are the most ’spicuous person I’ve ever known—that would be your superpower.You are ’spicuosity personified.”
Kendra glared at her brother, trying to fight a smile. “You’re a fool,” she giggled, punching his shoulder. “I don’t evenwant to laugh right now.”
He smiled at her. He always knew how to make her feel better, even when she wanted to wallow a bit more. “Do you want to tellme about it?”
“There’s no real need to get into the details. The CliffsNotes version is that there’s a mutual interest, but he decided I’moff-limits and doesn’t want to try anything.”
“And you do?”
“You know me better than anyone. How often do I come home upset about a guy?”
“Hardly ever. So why are you upset here? Why you gettin’ riled up over BJ?” Logan regarded her patiently, his watchful eyesalways more observant than she wanted them to be. Even as kids, Logan’s ability to pick up on the moods and body languageof those around him had allowed him to deftly navigate spaces without creating any waves; rather, he skimmed the surface whenemotions ran high and delved deeper when he sensed that people were more receptive.
Kendra stared at her brother, a knot forming in her stomach. “Did you tell him that he couldn’t pursue anything with me?”She didn’t mean for her tone to be accusatory, but the urgency in her voice was unmistakable.
“Of course not. You’re grown. But also, if you do anything, hear me when I say that I don’t want you to tell me anything. I don’t want to be in the middle of it, and don’t want details on what y’all get into.”
She slumped in her seat. “Well, you don’t have to worry about it. He says he isn’t going to act on whatever it is he is feeling.”
