Page 10 of Witch You Would
“It’s my fault. I let it get out of hand.”
“She had a super-bad day at work. I keep telling her to quit, but where’s she gonna go? SpellMart?” Orange Polo shrugged.“That’s why I was kinda pushing her on you. Sorry.”
“It’s okay. She seems really smart.”
“She is. Super smart. And she works so hard. I just wish someone could appreciate it.”
“I’m sure someone will,” I said, but it sounded weaksauce even to me.
Orange Polo jingled her car keys. “I should go. She has to be up early, and I already kidnapped her so I wouldn’t have tocome here alone.” She walked backward away from me. “It really was a great spell! Better than the one from Dolphin Mall. Andyou’re even cuter in person.” She grinned, then turned around and gave her hips a little extra shake.
Sam stepped up next to me. “Nice. Too bad about rule five. Hey, did I tell you the new bad pickup line I heard yesterday?‘You dropped something... my jaw.’”
“Not now, Samantha,” I muttered.
“Oh snap, full-named.” Her eyes got big. “You’re really upset. What’s up?”
“I wish I’d handled that better.”
“Haters gonna hate. Don’t stress about it.”
More quietly, Ed said, “Leandro isn’t you. He’s just a character.”
A character people didn’t take seriously, which was the whole point. But it stung to have it rubbed in my face. As if it didn’ttake a lot of skill and hard work to be a clown.
I’d tried the usual path for someone with my degree, and it had gotten me nowhere. My parents still asked how my job huntwas going every time we talked. Had I applied to that listing they saw on NetWorkedIn at the University of Never Gonna HireMe? What about that research position that required me to have started publishing papers when I was in diapers? Explainingthat the economy didn’t work how it had when they were my age was a waste of time. I was lucky to be an adjunct at a communitycollege. Recording dozens of crappy video auditions was how I’d ended up creating Leandro Presto in the first place.
Orange Polo’s headlights came on and the car backed out. I got a glimpse of Frogtail looking out the window, then they were gone.
“We’d better get home,” Ed said, adjusting the shoulder strap of his bag. “You have a long day tomorrow.”
A long couple of weeks, even. Tonight I’d be at a hotel in Edgewater, and tomorrow I’d be on a soundstage in Wynwood. I wouldmeet the hosts and judges ofCast Judgment, I’d meet my fellow “Spellebrities”—ugh, what a ridiculous name—and I’d be assigned my casting partner. Hopefully they wouldn’tbe too disappointed to be stuck with a Jinxd joker.
My PhD had to count for something, though, right? Not that I could tell them I had one. People saw what they expected to see,and Leandro Presto was just a curly mustache, safety glasses, and tacky shirts. But even a fake guy had to do real work. Myfriends were counting on me to network, but more importantly, my grandpa’s charity needed money.
Every kid deserved a little magic in their lives.
So did the grown-ups, no matter what Frogtail might think. I summoned up a smile and turned back toward the fans who hadn’tleft yet. “Anyone have questions before I head out? Or want a selfie?”
Chapter 3
Penelope
If I could travel back in time and kick Past Penelope for thinking today would be a triumphant montage to the tune of “VictoryIs Sweet,” my butt would already have a bruise.
I woke up before my alarm went off, worried I’d sleep through it. My curly hair refused to cooperate, so I pulled it backin a ponytail and prayed for professional stylist intervention. A button popped off my shirt, right under my boobs. All myother nice shirts were packed and I’d had to sit on the suitcase to close it; the only one I had left was a fake-silk peasantshirt in a once-trendy shade of yellow that would make people ask who wore it better, me or a rubber duck.
I had planned to make scrambled eggs and toast like a real adult, but the button debacle made me late, so I poured store-brandchocolate puffs from the bag directly into my mouth while driving. I splurged on an online coffee order, then spilled it inthe parking lot because the lid was loose. Ahh!
The sun was perfectly positioned to stab my eyes for the longest hour and a half of my life, in bumper-to-bumper traffic from Kendall to Wynwood. By the time I got there, my head ached from lackof sleep and caffeine, and people honking at each other as if it would magically make rush hour go away. Magic had its limits.
Why didn’t I go to the hotel the night before? Why did I think sleeping in my own bed would be better? Right, because I’ma comemierda.
The long drive gave me plenty of time to think about Leandro Presto. I’d been such an asshole to him. I’d spent hours casting,then waiting for that shitty customer to pick up his counterspell, then Rosy had dragged me to the park... Leandro screwingup yet another spell was the sprinkles on my bad day sundae. But no matter how much he annoyed me, I shouldn’t have let itturn me into an evil, cranky monster.
If I ever saw him again, I’d apologize better. Maybe I’d email him after the show finished filming? By then, he’d probablyhave forgotten I existed.
I was also definitely not going to think about how he was cuter in person, especially when he smiled. Nope. No me meto eneso. Rosy could stay president of the Bad Mustache Fan Club without me. I could look, though. Respectfully.
