Page 27 of Witch You Would
“Yes, sir!” Mary said.
She opened the door to the balcony, where a giant black bird perched on the wall. The smell of roadkill drifted inside. Igagged.
“Are either of you in a relationship?” Tori asked.
I forced my attention back to her. “I’m not.”
“Me either,” Penelope added.
“Good, good.” Isaac scratched under his chin. “Not that it matters, but we want to be able to control the narrative on socials.”
A thunk from the balcony was followed by a terrible hiss. “Go away! Shoo!”
Tori cleared her throat.
“Of course, I’m not gonna twist your arms,” Isaac said. “You’re not contractually obligated to...” He stared into spaceand spoke deliberately. “To engage in any behavior or activities that you deem morally objectionable or... inappropriate?I don’t have the legalese handy.” Squeak.
“We can provide the necessary contract language if you’d like,” Tori said.
To cover their own butts, not ours. That’s how these things worked, according to my lawyer dad.
“What would you want us to do, exactly?” I asked.
Squeak. “Nothing serious, you know, just a little wink wink, nudge nudge.”
That was not exact.
“So act flirty?” Penelope asked. She sounded flat, like she’d stuffed her feelings into a hat so she could magically pullthem out later.
“Right, yes.” Squeak. “Make googly eyes at each other, smile a lot, maybe a little Latin love, know what I mean?” He shookhis butt in the chair, biting his lower lip and running a hand down his chest, and I knew I’d never hear the phrase “Latinlove” without seeing that in my nightmares.
“The goal is to create the illusion of increasing intimacy,” Tori said. “Nothing excessive. Our editors just need somethingto work with, escalating over the course of the competition. Assuming you aren’t eliminated today.”
This was a lot to process, and I realized I’d already broken character by failing to play this off or crack jokes, but what the fuck.
“We need to talk about it,” I said.
“Sure, go ahead.” Isaac slouched down farther in his chair. Squeak.
“Me and Penelope, I mean. Alone.”
“Ah, right, gotcha.” He waved a hand at us. “Don’t let me keep you, then. It’ll be time for hair and makeup soon, then roundone begins.” For some reason, he followed that with a deep, evil villain laugh.
Tori’s neutral face cracked to let an eye roll through.
Isaac stopped laughing suddenly. “No, but seriously, get out of here, we’re done.”
We got out. The last thing I saw as the elevator door closed was Mary swinging a broom at a spread-winged turkey vulture.Mood, buddy.
I felt like my head was going to explode, but I made myself walk the usual Leandro way to the van that had brought us here.
“After you, m’lady,” I said, giving Penelope a sweeping bow.
Penelope climbed in, buckled up, and rubbed her face with both hands. I left a seat between us, close enough to talk but notto hover.
“So,” I said. “That happened.”
Her mouth twitched. I thought she was going to start crying, but instead she cracked up.
