Page 83 of Witch You Would
Oh, Gil. You and your rules.
“She private messaged me on Jive, asking me personal questions that got more and more uncomfortable. She started bringingme presents. Little things, then more expensive ones. Sam and Ed agreed she was crossing lines, so I asked her to stop.”
“She didn’t,” I said.
“No. It got worse. We banned her from the server, then banned her alts. Somehow she kept finding out when we were filmingand showing up, but she stayed far enough away that I didn’t want to make a scene by saying anything.” He rubbed his facewith both hands. “A few weeks before Christmas, she followed me home.”
“No!”
“Yeah. She tried to trick the maintenance guy into letting her in our building, but she didn’t know our apartment number,or my real name. He told her to leave, she kept lurking, he chased her away with a giant plastic candy cane—”
I couldn’t help it. I laughed, then covered my mouth. “I’m so sorry.”
“No, it’s okay, it was funny. We saw it from Sam’s bedroom window. He was swinging it around over his head like a sword, andshe screamed and ran to her car. I don’t know why that finally did it, but we never saw her again.” He chugged more beer andsmoothed his nonexistent mustache. “The thing is, I kept thinking, it could have been so much worse. You hear horror stories—almostalways about women—and I mean, I’m not saying what happened to me was nothing, but it wasn’tthat. I got lucky. No one was hurt, she went away, and nothing like that has happened again.”
And he’d gone overboard with being careful. I could relate.
“So you were worried I might be another stalker?” I asked.
“A little, at first. And it wasn’t just you. I stopped dating anyone, period. I was too paranoid. The more I got to know you,and like you, the more my fear... changed. What if you were just being friendly? What if I was the stalker this time? Youseemed cool, and nice, and I figured if I tried anything, I could screw up what we had.” His eyes met mine and my heart spedup. “Plus, if we did start going out, I’d have to lie to you until I was sure I could trust you. That seemed bad, you know?”
“You did lie to me, though,” I said quietly.
“I did,” he agreed. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know all of this would happen. With us, here. I should have kept my hands off you,too, even if you weren’t a fan. It wasn’t fair to you. Leandro isn’t real, and you deserve to... to be with a real person,not a character.”
My heart already felt like it was trying to thump its way out of my body, but what he said, and the way he said it... He’dknown who I was this whole time, and he’d kissed me, more than once... I wouldn’t know unless I asked, but making myselfsay the words was so hard.
“What do you want?” I asked. “For... us?”
“I like you,” he said. “A lot. I already liked you when we were just emailing, but now...” He half smiled. “I’ve got felinesfor you.”
I groaned. “A cat pun? Seriously?”
“Leandro isn’t all fake. Only mostly.”
And I’d fallen for him. Except... I’d crushed on Gil first. And they were the same person. So where did that leave me?What did it mean for my feelings?
What did I want?
I stood up. “I think I need a minute. Alone. To think. This is a lot to process.”
Gil got up, too, putting his beer on the desk. “Right. Yeah. Totally. Take as much time as you need. I’ll be here wheneveryou’re ready to talk. I mean, I’m literally not going anywhere, since we’re sort of stuck in here, but—”
“I know,” I said. “Are you going to karaoke later?”
“Are you?”
“Yeah.”
“Me too, then.”
“Okay. I’ll see you there.”
The door clicked shut behind me. The hallway was empty, quiet except for the hiss of the air conditioner. Everything seemedweird and out of focus, like when I finished reading a great book and suddenly found myself back in the real world, exceptmy insides were rearranged and nothing was the same.
What did I want?
The ice machine whirred and thunked; I nearly dropped the soda I’d forgotten I was holding. I was just standing there likea zombie. Normally I’d be overthinking, catastrophizing, coming up with bizarre worst-case scenarios that led to me jumpingout a window and bleeding out in a parking lot. Instead, my head was empty.
